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建立人际资源圈Family Legacy And Success
2015-07-01 来源: 51due教员组 类别: 更多范文
作者讨论家庭遗产与成功的关系，觉得家庭给到下一代的遗产中，财富起到有限作用，但更为重要的是长辈的价值观以及思想其实影响更为深远。
Before going into the analysis of the relationship between family legacy and success, it is very much essential for me to relate my definition of family legacy and success. Some people may hold the view that family legacy is all about how much money your parents give you, about how much real estate is left for you or how many corporations left for you to take over. It is indisputably true that those economic advantages are a sure edge over others conferred by your family legacy. But personally, I think family legacy also involves something in the spiritual level, say people’s world views, their values and characters in particular are influenced by and shaped in their home environment, where the parents or grandparents play the vital role. Both parts of family legacy can contribute to a quick success of their children. But success comes in many definitions nowadays, of which the most popular one is that success is about wealth and social status, while for a small group people, success is about leading a peaceful and comfortable life with beloved ones, free from too much stress and myriads of desires.
Opinions greatly vary among people about the relationship between family legacy and success. It cannot be denied that it is far easier for kids in rich families to succeed in obtaining what they want without strenuous efforts or setbacks. But for those ordinary families with average or relatively lower income, it surely takes longer for their kids to make some accomplishments. Biff, the eldest son of Willy Lowman in Arthur Miller’s play Death of a Salesman, likes to work outdoors on the farm and to have a ranch of his own. After seven years of trying a variety of jobs after high school, Biff still does not know “what the future is” (P.12). Yet I think this 34-year-old Biff is fully aware of what he wants, “there’s nothing more inspiring or—beautiful than the sight of a mare and a new colt”. (P.13) He has an obsession with farm work, and what is miserable about is that he has no idea of how to realize his father’s expectations of him. Father-son relationship deteriorates in the play. But suppose that if Willy has enough money to support Biff in doing what he really desires, Biff stands a great chance to make a difference, and they can get on good terms with each other instead of mockery and contempt for each other. But Willy, an ailing man in his sixties, is incapable of providing his son with more than he wants. Money is not impotent, but it surely can help people a lot. It is also the case in Lorraine Hansberry’s play A Raisin in the Sun. Despite that the Younger family can get a weekly big check of the late father’s insurance money, they still live in poor conditions, for there are five mouths to feed in the family. Walter Lee is immersed in opening a liquor store. But Mama, who has the right to deal with the insurance money, is not supportive of her son’s dream, stating that “we ain’t business people. We just plain working folks”. (P. 15) with a world of pressure pushing against Walter, he becomes more irritable and frustrated and feels a lot lonelier. If they had enough money at hands, their life would have been different without so many heartbreaks resulted from their shortage of money.
Recent years have witnessed the increasingly obvious difference between rich families or middle class and the working-class, with a widening wealth gap between the rich and the poor. Poor children are unfairly treated in many respects. For example, in spite of the fact that a great deal of importance has been attached to equal access of education, poor children in remote areas are in no position to access to those educational resources entitled to rich children. In some extremely remote areas, teachers are not even qualified enough, let alone gain some opportunities to study abroad. Take southwest China and east China as an instance, some children in the far less developing southwest China do not have warm shoes to wear in harsh winter, no air conditioning to warm up, and some of them in the rural areas have to walk miles on the mountain roads to school in early mornings and freezing evenings in winter. But at the same time, children from the middle class are warmly embraced by fresh milk, stylish coats and sufficient educational resources. China, as an emerging economy, is developing so fast in recent years that many of its people are given little concern.
Though money is significant, yet the lack of it does not necessarily mean a sure failure for those poor kids. The latter part of family legacy mentioned in the first paragraph plays a more important role. Kids’ characters, habits, mentality and even their way of thinking are shaped in the home environment, what their parents say and do imposing substantial influence on them. It is often assumed that poor kids still stand a chance to succeed or win over those rich kids under the circumstances that those poor kids are with better characters, habits and mentality. However, it is seldom the case. Poor kids are supposed to have a better capability for accepting setbacks, since their growth is not easy at all, which just turns out the other way around. Kids of the working-class families are much more vulnerable to setbacks, for they cannot afford to lose when they only have a little. In contrast, rich kids have no fear of any loss, for they have strong support from their families. What Malcolm Gladwell states in Outliers: the Story of Success, the middle-class parenting style is called “‘concerted cultivation’. It’s an attempt to actively ‘foster and assess a child’s talents, opinions and skills’. Poor parents tend to follow, by contrast, a strategy of ‘accomplishment of natural growth. They see as their responsibility to care for their children but to let them from and develop on their own” (P.104) serves as an evidence of the inherent disadvantages grounded in poor family.
Biff, in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman, is a thirty-four-year-old man, who has a dream of buying a ranch in west America and working on it. A farm with all kinds of animals, a farm for him to work strenuously on is all he wants. But his father Willy regards his dream despicable and persuades Biff to be a successful businessman like him, which is of course not what Biff wants. Irrespective of what Biff truly wants, Willy just feels disappointed and Biff feels “everything I say there’s a twist of mockery on his face. I can’t get near him” (P. 12) And Biff on the other hand is not a strong-willed man who is prone to be influenced by others. Willy is, in a large part, to blame for Biff’s failure. Some of his unreasonable life philosophy and his own character together shape Biffs’ character. Unfortunately for Biff, he does not even have the chance to give his dream a try, which is the same for all those kids from poor families. But it is not to say that it is impossible for all poor kids to make accomplishments. We have an example in A Raisin in the Sun that can inspire people with some hope. Poor Walter leads his family into an economic crisis with his money investing in the liquor store disappears with his business partners. Frustration and hopelessness is an understatement for him. When his sister Beneatha severely curses him, Mama stands out to defend his poor son, denouncing Beneatha that “there is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for myself and for the family ‘cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him…it’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ‘cause the world done whipped him so! When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account that hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is”. (P. 88) Hansberry does not tell us what happens to this Younger family. But I believe their life is sure getting better with such a great mother, whose son Walter, though fails, is regaining his manhood when confronted with difficulties.
Before going into the analysis of the relationship between family legacy and success, it is very much essential for me to relate my definition of family legacy and success. Some people may hold the view that family legacy is all about how much money your parents give you, about how much real estate is left for you or how many corporations left for you to take over. It is indisputably true that those economic advantages are a sure edge over others conferred by your family legacy. But personally, I think family legacy also involves something in the spiritual level, say people’s world views, their values and characters in particular are influenced by and shaped in their home environment, where the parents or grandparents play the vital role. Both parts of family legacy can contribute to a quick success of their children. But success comes in many definitions nowadays, of which the most popular one is that success is about wealth and social status, while for a small group people, success is about leading a peaceful and comfortable life with beloved ones, free from too much stress and myriads of desires.
Opinions greatly vary among people about the relationship between family legacy and success. It cannot be denied that it is far easier for kids in rich families to succeed in obtaining what they want without strenuous efforts or setbacks. But for those ordinary families with average or relatively lower income, it surely takes longer for their kids to make some accomplishments. Biff, the eldest son of Willy Lowman in Arthur Miller’s play Death of a Salesman, likes to work outdoors on the farm and to have a ranch of his own. After seven years of trying a variety of jobs after high school, Biff still does not know “what the future is” (P.12). Yet I think this 34-year-old Biff is fully aware of what he wants, “there’s nothing more inspiring or—beautiful than the sight of a mare and a new colt”. (P.13) He has an obsession with farm work, and what is miserable about is that he has no idea of how to realize his father’s expectations of him. Father-son relationship deteriorates in the play. But suppose that if Willy has enough money to support Biff in doing what he really desires, Biff stands a great chance to make a difference, and they can get on good terms with each other instead of mockery and contempt for each other. But Willy, an ailing man in his sixties, is incapable of providing his son with more than he wants. Money is not impotent, but it surely can help people a lot. It is also the case in Lorraine Hansberry’s play A Raisin in the Sun. Despite that the Younger family can get a weekly big check of the late father’s insurance money, they still live in poor conditions, for there are five mouths to feed in the family. Walter Lee is immersed in opening a liquor store. But Mama, who has the right to deal with the insurance money, is not supportive of her son’s dream, stating that “we ain’t business people. We just plain working folks”. (P. 15) with a world of pressure pushing against Walter, he becomes more irritable and frustrated and feels a lot lonelier. If they had enough money at hands, their life would have been different without so many heartbreaks resulted from their shortage of money.
Recent years have witnessed the increasingly obvious difference between rich families or middle class and the working-class, with a widening wealth gap between the rich and the poor. Poor children are unfairly treated in many respects. For example, in spite of the fact that a great deal of importance has been attached to equal access of education, poor children in remote areas are in no position to access to those educational resources entitled to rich children. In some extremely remote areas, teachers are not even qualified enough, let alone gain some opportunities to study abroad. Take southwest China and east China as an instance, some children in the far less developing southwest China do not have warm shoes to wear in harsh winter, no air conditioning to warm up, and some of them in the rural areas have to walk miles on the mountain roads to school in early mornings and freezing evenings in winter. But at the same time, children from the middle class are warmly embraced by fresh milk, stylish coats and sufficient educational resources. China, as an emerging economy, is developing so fast in recent years that many of its people are given little concern.
Though money is significant, yet the lack of it does not necessarily mean a sure failure for those poor kids. The latter part of family legacy mentioned in the first paragraph plays a more important role. Kids’ characters, habits, mentality and even their way of thinking are shaped in the home environment, what their parents say and do imposing substantial influence on them. It is often assumed that poor kids still stand a chance to succeed or win over those rich kids under the circumstances that those poor kids are with better characters, habits and mentality. However, it is seldom the case. Poor kids are supposed to have a better capability for accepting setbacks, since their growth is not easy at all, which just turns out the other way around. Kids of the working-class families are much more vulnerable to setbacks, for they cannot afford to lose when they only have a little. In contrast, rich kids have no fear of any loss, for they have strong support from their families. What Malcolm Gladwell states in Outliers: the Story of Success, the middle-class parenting style is called “‘concerted cultivation’. It’s an attempt to actively ‘foster and assess a child’s talents, opinions and skills’. Poor parents tend to follow, by contrast, a strategy of ‘accomplishment of natural growth. They see as their responsibility to care for their children but to let them from and develop on their own” (P.104) serves as an evidence of the inherent disadvantages grounded in poor family.
Biff, in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman, is a thirty-four-year-old man, who has a dream of buying a ranch in west America and working on it. A farm with all kinds of animals, a farm for him to work strenuously on is all he wants. But his father Willy regards his dream despicable and persuades Biff to be a successful businessman like him, which is of course not what Biff wants. Irrespective of what Biff truly wants, Willy just feels disappointed and Biff feels “everything I say there’s a twist of mockery on his face. I can’t get near him” (P. 12) And Biff on the other hand is not a strong-willed man who is prone to be influenced by others. Willy is, in a large part, to blame for Biff’s failure. Some of his unreasonable life philosophy and his own character together shape Biffs’ character. Unfortunately for Biff, he does not even have the chance to give his dream a try, which is the same for all those kids from poor families. But it is not to say that it is impossible for all poor kids to make accomplishments. We have an example in A Raisin in the Sun that can inspire people with some hope. Poor Walter leads his family into an economic crisis with his money investing in the liquor store disappears with his business partners. Frustration and hopelessness is an understatement for him. When his sister Beneatha severely curses him, Mama stands out to defend his poor son, denouncing Beneatha that “there is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for myself and for the family ‘cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him…it’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ‘cause the world done whipped him so! When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account that hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is”. (P. 88) Hansberry does not tell us what happens to this Younger family. But I believe their life is sure getting better with such a great mother, whose son Walter, though fails, is regaining his manhood when confronted with difficulties.
Family legacy has much to do with kids’ success, whether it is a lot of money or great character or “misvalues”. It is the best possible if kids have both, but the reality is harsh and indifferent. We have no choice but to admit the fact that poor kids are more prone to be dominated and more vulnerable. But if the poor kids are lucky enough to have understanding and caring parents, that will surely be a great fortune too.
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