Violence

After 26 years of marriage, Dora finally understood that staying with her husband meant "choosing death." "I had to lock myself into my daughter’s room at nights for fear that he would hit me with a baseball bat while I slept. He questioned my desire to study, my dreams; he criticised my family, my friends, and isolated me from everyone." Madame Moderator, Honourable Judges, My worthy opponents, Members of the Clergy, A.Y.P.A Island Council Executive, fellow A.Y.P.A members, other members of the intelligencia, a pleasant evening. I believe that you the audience would agree with me when I say that the topic chosen for this competition is one that is long overdue and vital to the empowerment of women worldwide; ‘The absence of self-respect and self-value leads to domestic violence against young women.” Permit me to define the key terms in the topic: According to the world netweb Absence means lack Self respect means valuing one’s self Self-value means self worth or self regard Domestic violence is any pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Young women according to the The Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women means any young woman between the ages of 15-45. Paraphrased the topic renders itself thus: The lack of self esteem and a belief in one’s self worth leads to a pattern of physical, emotional and psychological abusive behaviour against women between 15 -45 years. My intelligent Audience, my opening quotation taken from an interview with a Brazialian woman conducted in 2006 by the Caribworld news media emphasizes the depth of domestic violence and fear that these women experience on a daily basis that creates that sense of powerlessness and overall lack of self worth. My fellow AY members domestic violence has far too long been a private matter rather than a public issue. This evening it is my intention to raise this awareness and speak to the misery inflicted on countless women and children and how their fate is often brushed under the carpet. There are countless reasons for domestic abuse including drugs or alcohol abuse, the perpetrator’s home environment, emotional and financial problems and the lack of self esteem or belief in oneself. Madame Moderator, I am of the conviction that the lack of self worth has with it inherent attributes including economic dependency, culture, subordinate social status and a lack of legal rights and legal counselling services. Madame Moderator, women were, and many still are, conditioned to believe in the superiority of their male partners; further, they regard everything which occurs within the four walls of a home as being private no matter how devastating. My intelligent audience, this has resulted in the under-reporting of incidents of family violence. Furthermore, many women suffer from feelings of guilt believing that they deserve the beatings because they committed a wrong. This is alarming. Others refrain from speaking out because of fear of further abuse or shame, threats of financial deprivation or lack of options. In many relationships wives and women convince themselves that their vows include occasional corporal punishment from their partners, as frequently glorified in calypsoes and dance hall music. The World Health Organization found that one of the reasons women remain silent is that in many societies violence against women is accepted as "normal". In some countries such as Peru and Ghana, many women believe beating may be justified for reasons such as refusing to have sex or not preparing food on time. Additionally the impact of psychological and emotional violence cannot be measured. These include repeated verbal abuse and embarrassment in the presence of others contributing to low self-esteem and self value. AY Members, how much more should these women take' Madame Moderator, in our Caribbean society drugs and alcohol impact significantly on domestic violence. In some instances, women develop an attitude of resignation to the beating. Again, this resigned attitude is evidence of low self-esteem and psychological manipulation. This goes hand-in-hand in the Caribbean with a myth, which thankfully has to a large extent been exploded that most women enjoy physical abuse and regard it as an expression of the male macho image; in other words ‘if he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t love me’ The Caribbean statistics according to the Beijing Platform for Action demonstrates that many of these cases are unreported; 6 of 54 killings in September 2008 were related to domestic violence in the Dominican Republic: Trinidad.-177, Guyana 306, Jamaica 770 , St Lucia 15 and in St Kitts-Nevis 20-30 cases annually. Consequently, law enforcers believe that because of fear and the belief of self worth many cases go unreported. My attentive audience, the multi-dimensional problem of domestic violence has been discussed within the confines of a few pages. According to Prime Minister Ralph Gonsalves of St Vincent, one reported case of any form of violence against women is one too many. The family is often equated with sanctuary – a place where individuals seek love and safety. But the evidence shows that it is also a place that imperils lives, and breeds some of the most drastic forms of violence perpetrated against women and girls. There are also the issues of stereotypical attitudes towards gender-based violence. Unless these are changed and more progressive thinking adopted, the battle to eradicate such violence will be lost. This attitudinal change has to begin in the homes and communities of our respective countries, our Government, church and church organisations, schools and our societal leaders who must inculcate in the young the values of self-worth and human dignity. “My husband beats me senseless, I suffered broken ribs and a broken nose; when asked what happened, I simply said that I fell down the stairs.” This is among the reasons that women give when they are battered; or when they lose control of who they are and what they are worth.” My friends join with me in taking action against this Antiguan woman’s cry. It is time for this abuse to become publicly acknowledged for the problem it is and steps taken to tackle it. It is time for us to speak for those women who cannot, it is time for us to speak out and end the culture of silence, it is time for us, men, boys, to learn to respect the rights of women and to heed the words of Paul in Galatians 3:8, There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.