Three_the_Hard_Way

Illustration Essay “Three the Hard Way” “Honesty is the best policy”, my mother used to tell me. Lying is an example of fear and low standards one has. If I lie or make excuses I will never solve the issue or problem I have, because there will be no demand on a change because I have gotten out of the situation temporarily with either a lie or excuse. My mother would say to my brothers and me, “The bible says not to have sex before marriage, save myself for the appointed time.” That speech went in one ear and out of the other. One that I really question growing up was “Watch the crowd you associate with, what they do you do is how others will look at you.” my mother explained. “Be in before dark, nothing good happens after dark”, “don’t play with matches”, “don’t do drugs”, and “don’t smoke”. The list goes on with statements and facts taught to me by my mother, family members and other responsible adults in my life growing up. Everyone has a least one experience where they had to learn a lesson through hardships. Learning through hardships usually has a lasting impression on a person the situation one has experienced they had to learn some valuable lessons in their lives the “hard way” through unpleasant experiences. Some hard lessons help a person learn or change in a positive manner, while some lessons learned have been proven to be irreversible in consequence. A common response for a person learning through hardships is, “I should have listened to____!!”, in other words I was already told, taught or seen it happen before it happened to me. It was Friday night and I was getting ready to go to my evening walk-through football practice for the game Saturday afternoon. I had just gotten off punishment a few days earlier. I had asked my mother if I could borrow the car to go to practice. I informed my mother that I was just going to practice only and I would not have anyone else in the car. All the while I knew practice was going to over earlier than normal and I had an extra hour or so to hang out with some teammates after practice. My full intentions from the start were to go check out some girls we knew in the next town. I did not tell my mother because I knew she would say “no”, being that I just got off punishment. Practice ended early as expected and three teammates and I hoped into my 1985, red with only two doors, Nissan Sentra and screeched out of the parking lot on our way to see some girls in Tarrytown. We are on the parkway music blasting, going about 80mph in a two lane 50mph zone, swerving in and out of traffic like a NASCAR race. I lost control of the car, swerving to the right than back to the left, crossing the meridian into oncoming traffic. The car spun off the road into the woods hitting a 100 year old oak tree. The impact was so hard it split my car in half. My 258 pound teammate had to kick out the window just to get out. Afraid the car would explode with all the steam and smoke coming from the hood, we all got out of the vehicle running like “Jason Voorhees” is chasing us for about 80 yards or so through the woods trying to get to the main rode to try and call for help. No one was seriously injured, just a few minor scrapes and bruises. My mother’s only car was totaled and when she arrived on the scene, she was so upset that I wished I had been injured to get some sympathy instead of being “chewed out” by her. “What you do in the dark, will come to light.” Is what my mom would say. It sure did that night. No sex until marriage huh' That went in one year and out the other. I had my first sexual relationship at the age of 10. I had a female pregnant at the age of 14. I was in my math class in high school when my girlfriend at the time and her best friend came to my class with a fake note saying that I was wanted in the main office. As I walked out of class I noticed my girlfriend’s pretty brown eyes were red and full of tears. She had this scared and confused look on her face. “She’s pregnant! What are you going to do'” her best friend said as if she is her mother. Immediately my heart dropped like an apple from the tree, and all I could her in my head were the words, “no sex until marriage.” as my mother preached. Having to tell my mother my girlfriend was pregnant was tough. Especially after being warned and preached to throughout my life. If I had only listened to mom, this is one lesson I sure wish I did not have to learn the hard way. “Kuwahn, if you don’t be careful about the company you keep they will get you into trouble some day.” Mom said. This, I heard about several times a week during the summer after my freshman year in college. I had just left my friend’s house that night, it was about 12:30am and I was heading home on my bike. I took a short cut down this street we used to call the “alley”, known for illegal activities and crime. As I’m riding I ran into a group of acquaintances that was hanging out on the corner. Little did I know they had been plotting to rob someone just before I approached them. As I was talking to one of the guys I knew from the neighborhood, the others spontaneously approached the man walking down the street and attempted to rob him. The victim pushed and fought trying to run away from the group. The group cornered the man and demanded for his wallet. The group took the man’s wallet and gold chain from around his neck and scattered away. A week later, I was getting prepared to go back to college for the start of summer football practice. I heard a knock at my door and on the other side was the police. I was arrested that day and charged with assault and battery. Witnesses had acquainted me with the guys who assaulted the man that night. I was placed in jail without bond. Being jailed caused me to miss practice and lose my football scholarship. After about two years and many court appearances all charges were dropped against me. I was allowed to go back to college, but I still was not allowed back on the football team. If I had just listened to my mother about being around the wrong crowd, this would have never happened to me. I was arrogant growing up and I always felt that even though I was warned or taught the differences of right and wrong, I felt it would not happen to me. Now as a father of 20, 18, and 17 year old boys I can relate directly to having to learn valuable lessons through hardships. Is it the arrogance' Testosterone levels' “hard heads'” or just the fact that people feel that these things don’t and will never happen to me. I urge all not to be like me and be smart enough to understand that you don’t have to always go through it or experience it to understand it. Just listen and heed to sound advice and doctrines you can avoid unnecessary experiences or hardships. Understand although one can be delivered out of certain mistakes or lessons some can be catastrophic or irreversible to one’s life or others directly affected by one’s actions or decisions.