Three_Letter_Addiction

Three Letter Addiction Addiction in today’s society is a growing problem in America. There are a number of addictions that people suffer from everyday. According to national surveys there are five common addictions that people battle with. You have heard of chemical dependency, eating disorders, compulsive working, compulsive spending, and compulsive gambling. Have you heard of sexual addiction' Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually-related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one’s work environment. (SexHelp.com) Sexual addiction has been called sexual dependency and sexual compulsivity. By any name, it is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict’s life. Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addicts’ lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most in order to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior. (SexHelp.com) Since Sex addiction is a growing problem I want to make everyone more aware of why it is a growing problem, the consequences, and the dangers of sexual addiction. I believe that if everyone was more aware of sexual addiction we could support them. I know that many may not believe that sexual addiction is real, but there are so many people whose lives have become unmanageable. If you are a sexual addict, or if you know someone who is, there is a support group called Sex Addicts Anonymous where you are able to get the support that you need. If you attend one of the meetings or if you just want information about sexual addiction, you can always go online, I have found a website that gives a lot of information about sexual addiction: SexHelp.com SexHelp.com is a resourceful website to aid those who are in need of help and information about sex addiction. It gives helpful insight on the addiction itself. There is also useful information for family members of addicts who would like more information about sexual addiction. I really liked the website because it helped me understand more about my sexual addiction. It also gives information on where to get help for those who suffer from sexual addiction, like the Society for the Advancement of Sex Health which was created in 1987 to serve as an independent clearing house for information on sexual addiction and treatment options. If you are unaware of the behaviors of sexual addiction, know that there is no single behavior pattern that defines sexual addiction. When these behaviors have taken control of the addict’s life and their life has become unmanageable they need to seek help. These behaviors include, but are not limited to: compulsive masturbation (self–stimulation), multiple affairs (extra–marital affairs), multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands, consistent use of pornography, unsafe sex, phone or computer sex (cybersex), prostitution or use of prostitutes, exhibitionism, obsessive dating through personal ads, voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking, sexual harassment, molestation and rape. (MedicineNet.com) Sexual addiction was first brought to the forefront in Dr. Patrick Carnes’ 1983 book, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, and since then, thousands of people have come forward seeking help, and more and more professionals are being trained to identify and treat sexual addiction. (SexHelp.com) In sexual addiction, a parallel situation exists. Sex - like food or drugs in other addictions - provides the “high”, and addicts become dependent on this sexual high to feel normal. They substitute unhealthy relationships for healthy ones. They opt for temporary pleasure rather than the deeper qualities of “normal” intimate relationships. Sexual addiction follows the same progressive nature of other addictions. Sexual addicts struggle to control their behaviors and experience despair over their constant failure to do so. Their loss of self esteem grows, fueling the need to escape even further into their addictive behavior. A sense of powerlessness pervades the lives of the addicts. According to SexHelp.com, there is an estimated range from three to six percent of the population who are sex addicts. There are many reasons why one becomes a sex addict. Research has shown that a very high correlation exists between childhood abuse and sexual addiction in adulthood. Sexual addicts, both men and woman, have reported experiencing: emotional abuse (97%), sexual abuse (83%) and physical abuse (71%). There is a growing body of evidence that early child abuse, especially sexual, is a primary factor in the onset of sex addiction. It appears that biological shifts occur in the brain which heightens the brain’s arousal mechanisms as well as limiting the ability to inhibit behavior. (SexHelp.com) Sexual addicts feel tremendous guilt and shame about their out-of-control behavior, and they live in constant fear of discovery. Yet addicts will often act out sexually in an attempt to block out the very pain of their addiction. This is part of what drives the addictive cycle. Like other forms of addiction, sex addicts are out of control and unable to stop their behaviors despite their self-destructive nature and potentially devastating consequences according to PsychCentral. There are many risks a person takes if one is a sex addict. According to Heart to Heart Counseling Center, sexual addicts are focused on getting a sexual “fix.” They may occasionally consider the possible consequences of their activities, but in the throes of the addictive cycle, rational thinking is seldom, if ever, present. Often dismissing the potential danger of their behavior, addicts will embrace an anxiety-laden situation to enhance their sexual high. Avoiding reality and disregarding personal safety and health are typical symptoms of sexual addiction, and they put sexual addicts at grave risk for contracting one of the many disabling STDs, including HIV. Often sexual addicts don’t know what is wrong with them. They may suffer from clinical depression or have suicidal tendencies. They may even think they are losing their minds. These are, however, recognizable behavior patterns which indicate the presence of sexual addiction. Diagnosis should be done by a mental health professional trained in carrying out such diagnoses. While an actual diagnosis for sexual addiction should be carried out by a mental health professional, the following behavior patterns can indicate the presence of sexual addiction. Individuals, who see any of these patterns in their own life, or in the life of someone they care about, should seek professional help. The phrase “acting out” really refers to a pattern of out-of-control sexual behavior. Experiencing severe consequences due to sexual behavior, and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences, some of the losses reported by sexual addicts include: loss of partner or spouse (40%), severe marital or relationship problems (70%), loss of career opportunities (27%), unwanted pregnancies (40%), abortions (36%), suicide obsession (72%), suicide attempts (17%), exposure to AIDS and venereal disease (68%), and legal risks from nuisance offenses to rape (58%) which is explained on TechMission Safe Families. Persistent pursuit of self-destructive behavior, even understanding that the consequences of their actions will be painful or have dire consequences, does not stop addicts from acting out. They often seem to have willfulness about their actions, and an attitude that says “I’ll deal with the consequences when they come.” There is an ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior. Addicts often try to control their behavior by creating external barriers to it. For example, some move to a new neighborhood or city, hoping that a new environment removed from old affairs will help. Some think marriage will keep them from acting out. Others seeking control over their behavior try to immerse themselves in religion, only to find out that while religious compulsion may soothe their shame, it does not end their acting out. Many go through periods of sexual anorexia during which they allow themselves no sexual expression at all. Such efforts, however, only fuel the addiction. Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy through acting out sexually can temporarily relieve addicts’ anxieties; they still find themselves spending inordinate amounts of time in obsession and fantasy. By fantasizing, the addict can maintain an almost constant level of arousal. Together with obsessing, the two behaviors can create a kind of analgesic “fix.” Just as our bodies generate endorphins, natural anti-depressants, during vigorous exercises, our bodies naturally release peptides when sexually aroused. The molecular constructions of these peptides parallel that of opiates like heroin or morphine, but are many times more powerful. (Web MD) Sexual addiction is often progressive. While addicts may be able to control them for a time, inevitably their addictive behaviors will return and quickly escalate to previous levels and beyond. Some addicts begin adding additional acting out behaviors. Usually addicts will have three or more behaviors which play a key role in their addiction – masturbation, affairs and anonymous sex, for instance. In addition, 89% of addicts reported regularly “bingeing” to the point of emotional exhaustion. The emotional pain of withdrawal for sexual addicts can parallel the physical pain experienced by those withdrawing from opiate addiction, according to SexHelp.com. Along with sexual addiction come severe mood changes related to sexual activity. Addicts experience intense mood shifts, often due to the despair and shame of having unwanted sex. Sexual addicts are caught in a crushing cycle of shame-driven and shame-creating behavior. While shame drives the sexual addicts’ actions, it also becomes the unwanted consequence of a few moments of euphoric escape into sex. (WebMd.com) The first step in seeking help is to admit that there is a problem at hand. Fear of the consequences unfortunately keeps many sexual addicts from seeking help. Many sources of help are available to provide information, support, and assistance for sexual addicts trying to regain control of their lives. These include inpatient and outpatient treatment, professional associations, self-help groups, and aftercare support groups. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is a great twelve step program to be a part of. What Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship that supports other sex addicts. It is a twelve step program and they follow the twelve traditional steps. I am part of the twelve step program for my own sexual addiction; I had to admit that I had a problem, and I was diagnosed with sexual addiction. With the program it has given me tools to apply to my everyday life. We follow the twelve steps, and these twelve steps are: Step one: We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable. Step two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. Step four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Step five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Step seven: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. Step eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Step ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Step eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. Step twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives this is straight from Sex Addicts Anonymous pamphlet. This program is for those who suffer and want to be saved from sexual addiction. It is a great way to start living your life one day at a time. “From shame to grace.” Now that we understand sexual addiction there is more that we can do. Sex Addicts Anonymous is a twelve step program that people can attend and get the love and support in a healthy way. The membership is open to all who share a desire to stop compulsive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement. Sex Addicts Anonymous is supported through voluntary contribution from members. There are also websites, books, brochures and pamphlets on sexual addiction. Someone could also seek professional help so that they no longer feel trapped. Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment may include education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. These medication include Prozac and Anafranil. (MedicineNet.com) Work Cited “Heart to Heart Counseling.” 30, Mar. 2009. . “MedicineNet.” 30, Mar. 2009. . “Sex Addicts Anonymous.” 1, April, 2009. . “Sex Help.” 1, April, 2009. . “PsychCentral”. 3, April, 2009. “WebMD” 3, April, 2009.