Skin

Sometimes we can lose loved ones when we find our sense of identity and belonging. Interviewer: His name is Leon Laing, but you probably know him as ‘Sandra’s’ brother. A story that once captivated the nation, where the sense of identity and belonging was robbed and destroyed from an innocent young girl, has slowly faded in the memory of the South African society. However, due to the recent decline in Nelson Mandela’s health, the limelight has since been restored around the controversial life of Sandra Laing. The story should be familiar to most due to the sheer amount of attention Sandra received when news broke out that a black girl had been born into a white family. Much finger pointing occurred in the direction of Sandra’s mother as the only logical explanation was involvement in an extramarital affair. What other explanation could have made sense' The controversy didn’t stop there. It brought unwanted attention to Sandra’s brothers, Leon and Adriaan, who, to some, were thought to have viciously abandoned their sister whilst she was suffering throughout the most traumatic times of her life. Tonight we look above and beyond all speculation to find out the untold story of Leon Laing, the story that was kept in the dark for just way too long. Thank you Leon for joining us tonight; we know it is a very sensitive topic for you to be talking about. Now tell me Leon, did you abandon your relationship with Sandra as a result of prejudice, the views shared by majority of the white community at the time, or was it something deeper than that' Leon: Look, the one thing that has haunted me to this day is that very question. There is no doubt that racism still occurs, and that the segregation of blacks was firmly withheld in my household. However, that girl was a part of our family; she was one of us, not them. She belonged to the white community and from day one that’s how she was brought up. There is no doubt at times that she didn’t feel as if she belonged but the fact that we were always there for her through thick and thin should have been enough for her. I was her older brother, I taught her how to ride a bike, I watched her grow up before my very own eyes, there is no way the colour of her skin could have separated us. Interviewer: That’s fair enough, although the portrayal of your relationship with Sandra in the movie “Skin” seems to depict quite the opposite. Leon: Believe what you want. The movie to me is disgraceful. It is based upon lies which manipulate the audience into feeling empathy for Sandra. An example is when they depict that scum Pietrus as being nearly the same age as Sandra in the movie; however, they didn’t happen to mention that he was 20 years older than her. Or that she was only 14 when that scum went after her. Now of course it was difficult growing up with a black sister, and going to an all-white school with her certainly didn’t help either. But every day, I would stick up for that girl. She was my family; I would do anything for her. I repeat, the colour of her skin had absolutely nothing, nothing, to do with our situation right now. Interviewer: Enlighten us then. What sparked the demise of your relationship with Sandra' Leon: It’s simple really. Sandra never felt as if she belonged to the white community. She battled confusion and self doubt. She didn’t know who she was. She was a fourteen year old girl whose innocence was taken away from her. We were telling her she was white, a part of our family, but the outside world was telling her she was black and you, the media, compounded the situation. She was disconnected to the world she inhabited. She yearned for acceptance and inner peace and you could say she began forming her own identity for the first time in her life. She perceived herself as being black, and a part of the black community, not one of us. At first, I couldn’t really blame her. But, did she have to abandon my family' No. She decided she didn’t belong to us, that after all we have been through together that she didn’t belong to us. My father, mother and I loved that girl to death, yet she disregarded us and chose that pig Petrus instead. She officially became a part of the black community whilst simultaneously detaching herself from being a part of my family. Interviewer: Could you really blame her though' The pressure Sandra must have endured. She was a 14 year old girl! Leon: I honestly can’t put myself in her shoes; I don’t know how hard it was for her. But, I’ll tell you one thing, if it ever came to losing the ones I loved in return for self-gratification, I would never ever choose the latter. Sometime the choices we make have detrimental consequences that stay with us for life. Interviewer: I can understand where you are coming from there, but she is your sister. Life is about making amends. Is there any chance on moving forward' Leon: That’s a question better asked of her. Those who believe that I abandoned the relationship with my sister based on the colour of her skin; I’d like to leave you with this. My brother Adriaan was born with relatively coloured skin just like Sandra. To this day my relationship with Adriaan has been completely normal. Not once has the colour of his skin ever affected our relationship to any extent. We are a family first and foremost. This was not the case with Sandra. We came second to the colour of her skin. That’s hard to take and I’m not sure those lost years can ever be made up for. I hope she has found inner peace and has somehow fulfilled the void of abandoning us, her family. Interviewer: Thank you Leon for joining us tonight, we wish you all the best. Well there you have it. It seems obvious there are no real winners here. Sometimes our search for self-acceptance and belonging comes at a very high cost. No greater than the story of Sandra Laing and the destruction of a family unit.