Sexuality_Counseling_During_Different_Stages_of_Life

Sexuality Counseling During Different Stages of Life Shannon Lahaie PSY/265 July 17, 2011 Sharon Belden As long as people are alive they will have trouble with their sexuality, or at least issues with something concerning sexuality in some way, shape, or form. This is simply a “fact of life”. In the earlier years of our lives, we spend most of our time worrying about sexuality in the sense that we are either battling with the decision of behaving sexually or worrying about our performance because of lack of experience. As we get older these issues change to things like sustaining a sexual relationship in a long-term marriage or physical limitations. Regardless of the issue, it is best to try and understand why things are the way they are to allow stronger and better solutions Scenario One (Anna and Her Boyfriend) The first thing I would do as Anna’s counselor is to convey an attitude of acceptance so she would know I was not judging her in any way. I would also convey that whatever decision she makes has to be for her and only her, as it is HER she will have to live with in the long-run. I would then open a dialogue with Anna starting with the hormonal and physical changes, (I would limit my explanation of these hormonal changes to “becoming an adult”, or “becoming a woman”, at least initially.), and then reassuring her again that these thoughts and urges are normal but that she also needs to be aware that there are virtually ALWAYS consequences for our actions, and she needs to be aware of not only consequences, but dangers as well. I would mention pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, the benefits of abstinence, and also that her boyfriend is at a different time in his life than she is. I would let her now that despite the age difference only being three years, at this crucial time of a young person’s life three years can seem like a lifetime when we think about the amount of change we undergo. I would also explain that despite her boyfriend’s best intentions he cannot possibly be thinking about what is best for her. While it may seem like I am only giving Anna the “better” of the two options, I would appear to remain objective and simply a source of information and support for her. When addressing her mother’s anxiety I would encourage Anna to remain as open and honest with her mother as possible to help ensure trust levels stay high between them. Scenario Two (Tom and Susan) When counseling Tom and Susan, I would first address Tom’s insecurity by speaking about it in an open and accepting way so he would not start out defensive. I would speak with both Tom and Susan changes within the body that regulate sex drive and where their drives are in relation to what is “normal”. I would explain that it is completely natural for an aging person to lose a significant amount of sexual desire, but this is not a given and many people enjoy sex into their 80s or longer. I would also explain that although physical difficulties with sex are extremely common at this age but not inevitable for all men and Tom really will not know what he is capable of sexually unless he tries. I would suggest keeping the act of orgasm itself very low on the list of priorities so that Tom and Susan can enjoy other sexual activities that can be equally satisfying and with less pressure to perform. Most importantly, I would encourage them to remain patient with each other and open to new experiences. Scenario Three (Bill) My initial objective would be to make sure Bill knows exactly what sex is and exactly what part he would conceivably play in that, (the fact that Bill has been paralyzed since he was a child makes it possible that he has never even really learned about the mechanics involved). Then I would discuss the possibilities of where his ability will lie based on the type of injury he has, or in other words, what he is capable or not capable of. I would then encourage him to speak openly with his partner in a way that made it easy for the two of them to speak freely. I would suggest he find out what concerns his partner may have and explain anything necessary to him/her. I would encourage Bill to allow some flexibility for moving at his partner’s preferred speed as they become more and more sexually active to ensure his/her level of comfort. I would finally encourage Bill to remain open-minded about new things and having a “go-with-the-flow” type attitude. In my opinion, the most important part of counseling anyone for any issue is to let the patient know that you are passing no judgment, that you can hear anything they have to say regardless of how “shocking” they think it might be, and keep all reactions and discussions on a positive note.