Rosalind_Journal_Entry_-_as_You_Like_It

So much has happened in just one day it’s hard to believe! Celia and I were just enjoying the day, just a few jokes between friends. We just happened to be at the right place to see a wrestling match, usually I wouldn’t watch one, they’re so violent. But i’m so glad i did today. That big oaf Charles was going to wrestle the most handsome young gentleman i have ever seen, I thought he would kill him! Celia and I tried to convince him not to fight, but it didn’t matter in the end because he won! He was so strong, and so handsome, i was unsure of what had come over me. And he must be a good person if he’s anything like his father, Sir Roland. My father thought so much of him. When I mention Father it’s so hard, I miss him so much. I wish he was hear so I could tell him my news - I think I’m in love with a man i only just met, Orlando, actually I am in love. I couldn’t speak after we left him, but I’m not sure if he feels the same because he didn’t seem to want to speak to me afterwards, i felt so unsure of myself. I wish things were different because I thought falling in love would be wonderful, but i will never get the chance to be with him. All I can think about is my future, what was it going to entail' I can’t believe my own uncle is banishing me, it’s so unfair! Poor Celia to have him as her father. Where would I be without Celia' She’s actually going to run away with me, leave her safe life here and risk it for me. She’s more like a best friend than a cousin. It might even be an adventure, because we have a plan. I’m going to dress as a man and call myself Ganymede so we won’t be in danger from thieves. We’ll go to the Forest of Arden, and perhaps we’ll even find Father. So in the space of one day I’ve fallen in love, lost my home, and decided to become a man! I am so lucky to have Celia by my side, she’s the best friend I could have. I am fooling no one, I am not sure i will be able to pass as a man, i will have to act unlike i would and put on a brave face when i otherwise would not. This is not only to hold my cover as a man but to comfort CeliaI. I am to an extent not scared though, being with Celia will make me stronger that i would be without her and this will help both her and me survive in the unknown forest. The conflict i feel within me is confusing, i am not sure whether to be happy for a life still with Celia and i know being together all will be well, or should i feel scared for the future away from the safety of the court. I will have to wait for tomorrow to see how the change will go. I hope it does, because there is a limit to what we can handle i and i believe i am reaching it.