Rachel_Loden

Heather Langnas 21 February 2011 LIT2030 Wrozynski Malignant Shape Mother At first glance Rachel Loden’s Locked Ward: Newtown, Connecticut is not a poem that is easily interpreted. The mystery of this poem is what causes it to be so intriguing to the reader. Contrary to most poems in which the poem is better understood after reading the title, Locked Ward: Newtown is unique in that the reader may grasp the meaning of the title only after understanding the poem. Loden depicts the relationship between a daughter and her mother whom suffers a mental illness. Through metaphors, repetition, line breaks and a free verse form the reader is able to feel the exact emotions the speaker experiences as she visits her mother. The poem begins with the daughter being led to her mother by an employee described as tight-lipped. The tone is already set from the first line and the reader feels the awkwardness as the speaker begins her visitation. A simile is used to describe the walk to her mother in line two when she states, “I trail her like a moon”. The daughter follows the employee with out distraction and does not part from her side. She is nervous as she pays close attention to unimportant objects like the jailer’s shoe padding. She stays staring as the doors become unlocked; her focus is not broken as they open one by one. The way this is written causes the reader to feel as if they are frozen in time, which is familiar to the emotions of the speaker. The same thought is continued into the next line with out taking a breath as the meeting of the daughter and mother take place. The first letter of the next line is not capitalized to show it is an extension of the last sentence. The way the next few lines are written are very significant because she is speaking directly to her mother whom she describes as a “whipped child, eyes down”. This is the first window into the relationship between the two, and the hurt the daughter experiences concerning her mother’s condition. The fact that the mother is looking down instead of at her daughter as she walks in also aids in a better comprehension of the way the two interact. The first four lines of the poem are dedicated to describing what the speaker is encountering and her thought process as she enters the ward. When the mother is finally present in the poem she is not portrayed to be distressed by her situation or excited by the presence of her daughter. These factors are what allow the reader to realize the setting in which the poem takes place, a mental institution. As the poem continues the assumption of the setting is supported by lines seven through eight which states, “there are no sharp objects in here, only the malignant shapes”. The malignant shapes are said to dance out when the strappings are undone. The malignant shapes are symbols to represent the patients. Loden metaphorically describes the shapes as dancing to represent that they are wild, loose and extreme. The way in which the speaker is referring to the patients shows the way in which she views them, as objects, crazy objects. This is almost disturbing due to the reality that her mother is one of those “objects”. One would expect the family members of these patients to be more compassionate towards them. It becomes more and more obvious, line-by-line that the daughter is tremendously affected by her mother’s illness. The poem is not about the struggles her mother experiences but how strongly the mother’s inability to be normal negatively influences her child. The sixth and seventh stanza utilizes repetition as the phrase “what you wanted” is repeated. This reflects the daughter’s bitterness towards her mother. Mothers are assumed to take care of their children and give them what they want. The mother is unqualified in providing for, and taking care of her own daughter. It is almost as if for this stanza the speaker explains her thoughts while biting the side of her cheek. She knows her mother is not to blame for this yet she is still angry. The tone goes from frustrated to almost solemn as stanza eight goes into nine. The daughter seems desperate to find her mother a cure but she must know that is not possible as she describes the physician she needs as “all powerful”. Lines eighteen and nineteen are a single thought broken up into two lines, separated by two different stanzas. This allows the reader to take in the speaker’s thoughts as she thinking them. If her mother cannot be cured she hopes she can be brought “at least” to some place in which she could be peaceful. For the first time through out the poem the daughter expresses worry for mother as opposed to herself. The place in which she is talking about is her grave. The only place where her mother will finally experience peace is when she is brought to her death. It seems that her mother’s death is truthfully the sole action that will bring the speaker to some kind of peace. Seeing her mother reminds her of all the hurt she has experienced over the course of her life. The only way to escape the reminders of the haunting memories is to do away with the actual reminder, her mother. She describes these memories as “the stains that cannot be removed by any washing of the hands” (Line 23). The stains symbolize the memories that will not go away. “The years are mute. And yet there is no end to the lament” (Line 26) The years of her mother being sick and out of control are in the past yet she can not get away from them. The final lines of the poem express the unremitting pain a daughter experiences as a result of her mother’s sickness and inability to be a mother. “No end to the sharp objects in the heart” (Line 28). The terms sharp objects are referring to mental illness and basically how they cause her to hurt. A hurt that will not go away, a hurt they will not fade, a hurt they has no end. Locked Ward: Newtown is a truly tragic poem that maintains a distressed tone from start to finish. A daughter’s visit to see her mother in a mental institution ignites and stimulates an expression of feelings and memories of her life and the affects of her mother’s illness. The underlining message that is truly being stressed in this poem is the relationship between mother and daughter and the extremely important role a mother plays in the life of her daughter. The inability for a mother to fulfill this role leaves their daughter with a lifetime of resent and hurt. I remember when I was eleven and found the book “Adult Child of an Alcoholic” in my mother’s night stand drawer. I recalled my mom and Aunt whispering about my grandmother’s illness from time to time in the kitchen but never really thought anything of it. While having mentally ill parent like the speaker did not affect my mother, alcoholism is a disease that greatly affected their relationship. To this day it is still nearly impossible to get my mom to tell me about her childhood with her mother. I just know she worked full time from the age of fourteen, for the most part took care of herself and stayed at her friend’s houses as much as possible. She will tell me how fearful she was to bring anyone over her house as she would never know how drunk her mom would be by the time she got home from school. Her inability to speak about something with even me, her own daughter reminds me of the relationship between the speaker and her mother. Both the speaker and my mother were deeply affected by the struggles their mother’s shortcomings. The speaker hates being reminded of the pain she endured and says there is no end to the pain in her heart. My own mother does not really discuss my grandmother’s sickness but in my nineteen years I think I’ve seen my mother drink a glass of whine at dinner maybe three times. She claims she doesn’t like the taste, however I know she is not referring to the taste of the alcohol. What she really means is the taste of the reminder of what this substance had on her child hood as she watched her mother completely lose herself similarly to the way the speaker experienced the illness of her mother.