Psychology

Trust vs. Mistrust Natasha Griffin Psy/230 July 17, 2011 Marie Dube’ Trust vs. Mistrust At this age you are 0-18 months old. This is from when you are born through when you are a baby. You start to walk at this age. Your main relationship is with your mother. You are developing the most in your life at this point. You are sleeping, being comforted, and eating. You are going to see some people/things that you trust or like and some that you don’t. We learn to trust that life is basically okay and have basic confidence in the future. If we fail to experience trust and are constantly frustrated because our needs are not met, we may end up with a deep seated feeling of worthlessness and a mistrust of the world in general. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t trust anybody and nobody trusted you' Being trustworthy gains respect from other individuals and enable them to form deeper friendships with you. In the dictionary Trust means ‘to believe’ and to have honesty about someone. The opposite of Trust is Mistrust and this is ‘to have doubts about the honesty and abilities of someone. Can you imagine if you went to work every day without trusting you would be paid' Or agreeing to marry someone without believing that they would turn up at the alter' If you are a sportsperson, could you imagine not trusting your team-mates' Being able to live and operate every day is a matter of trust, trust bonds almost everything we do and we don’t only need to have trust in other people, but we must trust ourselves. Having confidence in ourselves is vitally important, when we can trust ourselves we will become trusted by other people and we will learn to reciprocate and trust them too. We are all born with a certain amount of confidence in ourselves, but we are all born with a lot of trust in others. It is unfortunate that the society that we live in today has become burdened by situations where we cannot afford to trust everyone, because there will always be someone who takes advantage. Children have to be taught not to trust a stranger for fear of what may happen, people can become conditioned not to trust politicians and many are wary of the media – trust might be our birthright but the abuse of the power that trust gives people means that very often the automatic trust level that we are born with can become something that we are very wary to give, and not giving trust affects the way people trust or mistrust us. Trusting someone is a gift, but it is a gift that brings with it vulnerability. What if you trust someone, and they defy your trust and cause you upset or even pain, can you go onto trust another' A relationship is built on the cornerstone of trust, if I can’t trust my partner and they trust me, I will rightfully feel fulfilled and have that sense of reliability. But what happens if the trust is broken, and my partner leaves me for another, could I ever trust again' Well, if you are to be happy then you must do. So often people in broken relationships refrain from meeting new partners because they have been hurt before, not allowing themselves to trust again and at the same time they are restricting themselves from the very pleasures that made them become involved in the first place. It can be difficult to let go of the paranoia and fear that since I have been hurt before then it will happen again. It may not be easy but finding that trustworthy company, or partner, or car garage is a worthy exercise, for that security of being in a trusting transaction will help to renew my trust in human nature. Why do I think that I am at the stage of “Trust vs Mistrust' I have been hurt. Hurt by my partner and man that I have loved for eight years. Hurt by my father, whom left my brother and I when we were five years old. Hurt by people that I thought were true friends. Over a period of time my heart has harden. I won’t allow myself to get to close to a person or even open myself up. I won’t allow a person to make one mistake or error concerning anything that I may feel will lead to hurt or distrust. Because there are some issues within me that values over my “trust or mistrust towards people I have then allowed anger to be up. I am bitter. My temper is short and I am easily defensive. Within the past two years I am learning to cope with “trust.” I am opening up little by little to others. I still have my doubts about people, but I am willing to give it chance. Not everyone is out to get me. Not everyone tries to hurt me purposely. I want to love again. I want to be loved. There are some things that I did to help rebuild my own trust level. 1) Behave in the way I would expect others to behave towards me. Be honest with myself and other people, be generous where I can afford to be and act sincerely. There is much truth in the saying that ‘ye reap what ye sew’ and I will/have attracted honest trustworthy people if I behave in an honest and trustworthy fashion. 2) I am in control of my own decisions, I have learned to trust my instincts and consider my first impressions of a situation, and I will often find that my gut feelings have served me well. I won’t rush into any decisions, take the time to consider the options that faced me and get as much information as I can before I press the red button. 3) Just because I have had bad situations in the past, don’t tare everyone with the same brush. It is fine to be mindful of problems I have had in the past and to notice any signs that someone is not respecting my trust, but try to give people the benefit of the doubt and offer my trust with a smile and I may just find that the warmth I feel when it is reciprocated, and re-instills my faith in the honesty of humanity. Without trust I have found myself lonely and it is important to develop a rounded view in whatever situation I may face, and remember to always learn from the past but do not dwell in the past because each person and situation I may face could be very different from the last. My best friend deals with Intimacy vs. Isolation-Love. Natasha was in a relationship with her kids’ father for some years. She devoted herself to him. She made him her world. They lived together for a while. She became a totally different person. She was happy and friendly. After that relationship ended, Natasha became isolated. She wouldn’t allow herself to social with others. She wouldn’t go out. Her attitude became very nasty. Her whole outlook on men in general was just terrible. She had stopped speaking to people. She became a loner. Natasha still deals with isolation even today. Natasha now carries an “I don’t care type of attitude. Until she releases that past hurt and frustration, she will never break out of bitter cold isolation. Reference: PH.D Niolon, Richard.www.Psychpage.com.” Trust vs. Mistrust.”