Process_Essay

The majority of the student population within the United States is forced on a daily basis to endure the dangerous and potentially fatal halls of their high schools. Most make it out alive… but as for the others, defeat is inevitable due to the insufficient training on crucial techniques for navigating through those hostile hallways. This manual’s sole purpose is to increase the number of survivors, and to relinquish the ever lingering doubt of “whether or not I will make it to my next period!” A Few Quick, But Never the Less Imperative, Tips: 1. Follow a taller person than yourself; people tend to cower away from intimidating giants towering over top of them. This will create adequate hallway maneuvering room for you. 2. Stay with the flow. Don’t Stop or turn around. A hall is like an assembly line; if one part is halted the whole unit is corrupted and destined for chaos! 3. Make friends with your teachers. This is useful if you ever find the hallways particularly unbearable grab a pass and beat the rush or come after the rush. 4. Plan ahead. Find the hallways that are the least congested; in other words, avoid the “make out alleys” and the all excruciating “lollygaggers’ lane.” The above four tips are general; however, you are going to need to know more to survive these perilous passages. The following are more in depth strategies to assist you in distinguishing which line of attack you should use with any “road block” you may happen come across. “Weaving” Weaving is the most passive, aggressive way to navigate through a hallway. Weaving will also be the most utilized of all these techniques because it is always the initial plan of action unless extra measures are necessary. Weaving is a method in which you avoid all traffic by quickly darting down the hallway as fast as you possibly can without harming any passersby. Like many skills this expertise takes a bit of practice to be satisfyingly efficient. Complete concentration is vital for success. Note that all surroundings need to be taken in as fast you are moving. This is necessary to dodge possible obstacles like a fallen book or person. (Warning: do not attempt to aid your fallen comrade; sadly it is too late for him.) A tip to evade some of these obstacles above is to make sure you are always on the inner part of your lane (the inner lane is usually pretty distinct but if you are having trouble just stay on the most inner part of the “lane” that is going in your direction). The inner lane makes it easier to elude pupils that are turning into various rooms and any other challenging obstruction. Another important factor that you need to take into consideration while weaving is your gear. Your belongings should be tightly packed so as to not lose anything essential for classes. Making sure your gear is secure and snugly against your back and or shoulder is also vital because you do not want to harm anyone on your voyage to your next class. If You Are Unavoidably Slow Please Note: The above technique was for those with fast feet, however if you know for a fact that you are not a fast or as focused individual, have no fear, there are other plans of action you can take. 1. Can’t seem to avoid the hoi polloi' You have only one solution; to go over top of them! Get a sufficient amount of suction cups; one for each hand and knee is plenty. Now, instead of walking you can “pop” your way to your next class by using the ceiling, a less traveled place. You can buy suction cups at your local suction cup store, or Wal-Mart. If the suction cups don’t seem to be efficient, resort to a make-shift zip line system. Not only does this come in handy when cruising through the hallways, but you could also lend it to friends, or charge fellow classmates for a speedy ride to class. In turn, not only do you make it to class on time, but you can even earn some spare cash along the way. 2. Or you can do the exact opposite, you can embrace the crowd. All you need for this is a chariot and a big animal of some sort. Usually this animal is a triumphant looking horse; however, any animal will do. This way the crowd will have to part like the red sea or suffer the consequences. WARNING: By any animal we mean any large animal that does not eat/kill/or hunt human beings. If you cannot find an animal, bribing a couple of humans will work also. 3. A more elaborate way is to take a Saturday and make secret passage ways all throughout the school. These passages could be underneath or within the thick wall of the high school it just depends on the structure. This scheme should only be done when it has been well thought out (that means making blueprints) because in a few situations the structure of a school has been destroyed. 4. Or, and this is the laziest way, you could get your teacher to write you a pass. If All Else Fails….Intimidate When in crowded hallways there are inevitable altercation, shoves, or contacts. Most of your fellow pupils will accept it and move on; however, there are some drama-loving miscreants. These miscreants are just waiting for someone to prey upon. They plan for you to have a confrontation with them, so when you run into these scoundrels you have to have a plan: here is a fool proof one. 1. If you are not that terrific of a fighter, when running into someone, avert your eye contact. That way that person knows that you did not even realize you hit them. (This works 75% of the time, but if this person decides to pick a fight the following is your plan.) 2. The first essential step to this aggressive process is to get your “game face” on. Show that person that you mean business: terrorize him/her. This “game face” will show your opponent that you are not feeble. Most of the time your adversary will sneer and then leave because they are terrified, however if they put their “game face” on. Get ready to transform into the “power-up stance”. To get into this position you need to start by straightening your gear. You can either make sure it is strapped properly to you so that it will not interfere (maybe even fasten it so that it is available for a shield) or you can hand your gear to a trusty peer. After this you need to jut your dominant foot out and get a good footing on your other. This enable you to pivot if need be. Then situate your fist so that your whole forearm is shielding your face, this makes it possible to shield your face while “popping” your forearm out. If this does not alarm your challenger then you either have to fight or if you know that you could not possibly win, carry something with you to have as a diversion; permitting you to make a hasty get away. These diversions could be anything from pepper spray, randomly singing, verbal attacks, or (and this is a last resort because you should be prepare) grabbing your bag from that trusty student and throwing it to your enemy.