Opposite_Directions

Walking home from Lana’s house, feeling frustrated, angry and hate. I mean why, why does she always do this to me' It’s not like I do this to her! Unlike her I value our relationship. We always have the same fight over and over again! …Am I just not pretty enough, do I not have a great taste in cloths, is it because I don’t wear make-up or do my hair like she wants' Why does she not include me in-group activities. Like take this for example, when Brit and Charley want to go to the movies, she wont invite me, she would just make up a lie that she is staying home or has a family function, when really she is going out to the movies with Brit and Charley. Its 3.30 in the afternoon told mum I would be home at 5. I really can’t be bothered to face mum, like I love her and everything but when it comes to friends she just doesn’t get me. She doesn’t like me getting worked up on friends that don’t even act like they are my friends. She doesn’t understand why I even call Lana a friend when all she does is hurt me. Mum’s says she is more like an enemy then a friend, which I kind of second but I don’t tell mum that. I guess I am friends with Lana because I don’t have any other friends and I want to belong to a group and she is the only person that took me in. I think me wanting to belong has over powered me belonging, because I wanted so much to belong to a group, that I don’t feel like I belong to that group. Heading towards the shop to treat my self to ice cream and drain my sores. Its now 4.15 should start walking home, need to get home before 5. I finally get to the top of my street; sweating my ice cream, I cheer aloud ‘only 5 more houses down’. Getting closer to my house I see a small black car reversing out and speeding off in the opposite direction. Confused to what just happed my legs began to walk faster and faster. I get to the front gate of my house. Strange dad’s home, ‘shouldn’t he be at work’ I say in a low confused tone. The long wooden door that block the outside view was wide open…I walk in, the music from Jaws begins to play over and over in my head, my breathing become faster and faster I call out mum, but not reply. Dad! ‘Where in the living room honey’ he calls out. Relieved that there ok I walk into the living room, mum is sitting on the chair balling her eyes out, dad is next to her trying to claim her down. I walk up to mum and look into her green watered down eyes. Turn to dad so I can get a signal to what was wrong with mum, but nothing he was silent, I then turned to mum and then dad again. The room was silent. For once and you could hear the ‘tick, tock’ the clock made. That’s been a sound that wasn’t familiar to my ears. Turning back and forth I felt like I was watching a tennis match. I didn’t want to ask what was wrong, cause I didn’t want mum to be even more upset then she already was, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. The words blurted out of my mouth,’ what’s wrong mum'’…’Who was that person in the car'’ She took one look at me then one look at dad and busted into tears. Mum then ran out of the house into the backyard, dad followed. ‘What was wrong' Was it I' Who was that person in the black car'’ I couldn’t help but feel responsible for what happened to mum. Leaving the living room, I go into my bedroom and lay on my soft, conferrable bed the only thing that was comforting me at the moment. Laying there still wondering about that black car. Kicking myself ‘only if I were home earlier’. Laying on my bed I feeling hopeless, I fall asleep. Walking home from Lana’s house, feeling frustrated, angry and hate. I mean why, why does she always do this to me' It’s not like I do this to her! Unlike her I value our relationship. We always have the same fight over and over again! …Am I just not pretty enough, do I not have a great taste in cloths, is it because I don’t wear make-up or do my hair like she wants' Why does she not include me in-group activities' Like take this for example, when Brit and Charley want to go to the movies, she wont invite me, she would just make up a lie that she is staying home or has a family function, when really she is going out to the movies with Brit and Charley. Its 3.30 in the afternoon told mum I would be home at 5. I really can’t be bothered to face mum, like I love her and everything but when it comes to friends she just doesn’t get me. She doesn’t like me getting worked up on friends that don’t even act like they are my friends. She doesn’t understand why I even call Lana a friend when all she does is hurt me. Mum’s says she is more like an enemy then a friend, which I kind of second but I don’t tell mum that. Oh well just looks like I will have to face her angry, sad felt face for me, but I really couldn’t give two flying pigs and a horse doing the quick step. Finally getting to the top of my street…’Greenway Street’ repeating itself in my head. Five houses down and I’m there, sounding like I’m commentating a match. Getting closer I see a black car in my driveway, I look at the time 3.55 pm. It’s not a car that looks familiar to me. My legs began to have a mind of their own as they walk faster and faster anxious to see who owns the car. As I turn to in enter my property I see dad’s car, questing in my head why he was here I see the long wooden door that block the outside view from in my house wide open, I could hear shouting coming from inside. Just as my leg was being picked up from the floor to take a step, it felt like a truck load of bricks just slammed it but down again…’she’s my daughter’ I hear my mother say. In quick reply, I hear an unfamiliar voice shout back ‘no she is my daughter’. Confused to what was going on, my childhood flashes before my eyes, the great times dad, mum and I had. ‘You put her up for adoption’, came out of my mother’s mouth, her tone was strong and loud. It was at that very moment where I felt I couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone had their hands around my neck and I couldn’t get free. I busted into tears. ‘Since I can remember I have always felt like I belonged in the house where I grow up as a child. I remember it fondly, like the time dad and I built a cubby house in the backyard using all of mums’ hardware, see was really angry that day, but she never yelled at either one of us’. As I turned to run the other direction thoughts ran through my mind, ‘why didn’t I stay at Lana’s house longer’,’ couldn’t I go to the shops, why did I come home at all, only if I had come home when I was meant to, I would still feel like I belong in this family’.