Movie_Analysis

through a long and intensive process of changes and healing in the couple, and the only way it will be successful is if the couple is willing to go through that process. According to a writer, for Peace and Healing, “Effective communication is something that can be taught. It is also some- thing that should come from the heart. If there is truly love left in a relationship, it should come much easier, especially if both individuals are committed to working on the marriage. Determin- ing whether or not mediation would be helpful depends on the degree of hurt in that relationship, forms that there has to be a real commitment between the couple for the marriage to be success- ful. They both have to be willing to put forth the same amount of energy and effort towards the restoration of communication in their marriage. For instance, imagine a couple that for 18 years of their marriage have always had problems communicating with themselves. There has been a lot of accumulation of feelings and hurt in this marriage. The first key for this marriage to suc- ceed is for the couple to commit to each other, and understand that the restoration will be a slow process. According to Diana Hagee, the author of What a Woman wants in a Man, “Comm- nication between men and women, I conclude that is both: a blessing for the woman and a tor- ment for the man. It doesn’t have to be this way. When seen through the eyes of love, commu- nication is the lifeline for any marriage” (95). This statement proves that without communication it’s impossible for a marriage to survive in times of crisis. When a marriage has a lack of communication, the spouses tend to speak their problems to friends and family members. They do not feel the confidence and trust to open up with their spouse. Fear is a big factor in this lack of communication: fear to what the other spouse will think about them or fear to be harshly judged when it’s related to a secret. Many times they would rather hold everything they feel because they do not want to damage the relationship fur- ther . Not knowing that by doing this, they are killing themselves emotionally because they will become bitter and unhappy people and therefore make their spouses unhappy as well. Another factor is aggressiveness. Many spouses choose not to communicate because they know their spouses can get aggressive at times, so they would rather remain quiet. When communication in a marriage begins to cause problems between the couple marriage counseling is the best solution to save the marriage. agrees and commits to each other. They will commit to share their feelings, no matter how good or bad they may seem. Furthermore, they also commit to always be truthful and honest to each other. A writer for aish.com informs that, “In order to have a successful marriage you have to make yourself an expert in communication. You have to try to understand what your partner is saying on a simple level as well as try to analyze the underlying message or desire”, (Braverman). Secrets and fear are two other issues that cannot be permitted. The couple needs to see each other as friends, a friend that they feel free and comfortable to talk because they know there will not be any judgments. John Hagee, the author of What a Man wants in a Woman says that, “Remember that is isn’t honesty that drives a wedge of distance into your marriage it is dishonesty” (58). This informs how destructive and harmful dishonesty can be in a marriage. In addition, the second solution is family therapy. It will greatly benefit the entire family, if the couple has children that have presence the drift apart and arguments between their parents it would be ideal for the family to begin healing together. Many times children can feel confused about the change their parents have with each other, that’s when family therapy becomes so im- portant because they get to vent all of their feelings. The family therapist can also work with the family one on one when needed. Moreover, the therapist can also give tips on how to approach children when they begin to ask questions for example, why do we need to go to counseling, why are my parents having problems between them' When the children are small all of these ques- tions arise in their little, that is when the therapist will be of big help. At times the couple may feel overwhelmed when the children are asking all these questions and they do not know how to answer them without confusing them. Additionally, the third solution is marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will help the couple become stronger and they will also get the opportunity to look at other areas of their mar- riage that need to be worked on as well. The counselor will give the couple tips and advice on how to approach each other without having to argue and this way addressing their communica- tion problems. Pursing this further, the counselor can suggest books and movies. For example, the movie Fireproof is a great movie to be watched by the couple. The movie deals with a couple that is also going through hardship in their marriage, and how they managed to overcome it. tips on how to improve their marriage life according to the scriptures. Marriage counseling can also help the couple in the process of forgiveness between them and help them overcome grud- ges that have been held between them. They do need to understand that for marriage counseling to be a success, they both need to want to restore the communication in their marriage. Even though these solutions have the potential for the restoration of a marriage, marriage counseling is the best solution to help a couple with their communication problems. The coun- selor has vast experience to help the couple relate to each other, and can also see things with another perspective. In the same way, the counselor can teach them how to come near each other without having to use harsh and offensive words, always maintaining the respect between them. John Gray, the author of Truly Mars & Venus says that, “When men and women are able to respect their differences, then love has a chance to grow” (1). This statements shows that even though there will always be differences in a couple, respect should always be present in order for love in a marriage to prosper. Following this further, the marriage counselor can also suggest other resources such as movies for example the movie Facing the Giants, this movie gives a clear vision on how no matter how big problems in life can be persistence, commitment, and determi- nation is what will make the difference in a person’s life in this case in marriage. The counselor can also suggest workshops and retreats for couples. For instance, the couples that have assisted these workshops and retreats feel that their marriage has rejuvenated and feel stronger to deal with any type of problem their marriage might be facing. The couple can also feel comfortable venting their feelings to their spouse in presence of the counselor, this way they feel less pressure if he/or she says anything that the spouse does not like or want to hear; in this case the counselor will be the mediator so that the discussion does not turn into an argument between the couple. In addition to the advice and the suggestions the counselor can give the couple, assisting to marriage counseling will also help the children because they will have a better welfare having their both parents together. Generally, children that grow up with both parents are emotionally more stable. First, they do not have go through the economical and social burden that children living with single parents many times go through. For example, on the economical aspect child- ren that live with their both parents are not necessarily limited only to their basic needs, their parents many times have more opportunities to get them electronic games, or any other things that they might want. While a single parent the majority of times lives on a budget, and can only cover the children’s basic needs. Secondly, on the social aspect children that lives with both parents do not go through the pressure of being laughed or made fun of by friends; however, children that live with single parents have to go through this hard situation of seeing their friends (marriagefamilyfoundation.org).This proves the huge impact that children receive when they do emotional state as long as they are stilled committed and emotionally connected with their spouse. children live with both parents, but it will also help the couple look into their future and help them decide if they really want to remain in the marriage or eventually divorce. Many couples after assisting several sessions with the counselor realize that they really weren’t committed to their marriage as they thought they were. They realize that it is not really true love what they feel for their spouse, it’s more the accustomed of being with that person. Pursing this further, the cou- ple realizes that even though they remained married they were no longer emotionally connected. In an article talking about marriage counseling, John Gottman says that “Emotional distance is what will decide if the marriage will prosper or collapse, when the couple is still emotionally tional connection is so necessary in a marriage. Besides the reasons why marriage counseling is the best solution to solve the lack of counseling will help solve the lack of communication in their marriage. For instance, many cou- ples oppose to marriage counseling because they have had the experience of trying it before, and it did not have positive results within their marriage. Others do not like discussing their personal matters with strangers. Furthermore, some couples avoid assisting marriage counseling because of the costs, not everyone could afford to pay out of pocket the fees, and not many health insurance cover counseling sessions. There are couples that just rather take the easy path, which is divorce; they are not willing to go through the process that it obviously needs. The re- storation of communication will take time and dedication, and many people think they have al- Communication is at times very difficult; it can get very frustrating when people do not undertstand the message that wants to be transmitted. When it’s a marriage that has problems with communication, it’s a very fragile situation. However, with marriage counseling it is a pro- blem that can be resolved successfully. Marriage counseling will give the couple advice and tips on how to improve their communication without arguing and with respect. The counselor will also recommend the couple movies, books, retreats, and workshops to encourage the couple. In the same way, the couple can freely say what they feel without having fear that the discussion will turn to an argument. This is a perfect timing to ask forgiveness for any offenses between the couple, and also a time to let go of grudges. Furthermore, marriage counseling will also benefit the children because the children will have a better welfare, and are emotionally more stable by having both parents with them. Also, they do not have to carry the economic and social burden that children that live with a single parent have. Additionally, marriage counseling will help the couple see what they really want for their futures, if they want to continue with their marriage or decide to divorce because they feel they are no longer emotionally connected to their spouse. Marriage counseling can definitely help a marriage gain what they have lost in their marriage. Works Cited Braverman, Emuna. “Effective communication means verbalizing needs and listening carefully”. Gray, John. Truly Mars & Venus. New York: HarperCollins, 2003. Hagee, John, Diana. What Every Man wants in a Woman, What Every Woman Wants in a Man. Johnson, Susan; Patz, Aviva. “Save your relationship”. Psychology Today Mar/Apr2003: p50. “Marriage & Family Foundation”. Marriage & Family Foundation. 07 May 2009 Williams, Dan. “Marriage and Communication”. Peace and Healing. 07 May 2009