Mock_Essay_of_Modest_Proposal

AP Language & Composition October, 2007 Modest Proposal for ‘Nude Uniform’ It is a frightful and dark era where schools today aren't in the best condition. When one passes by the halls, there is teasing, violence, discrimination, cliques, and poverty. As a solution, many schools have considered implementing school uniforms to improve discipline, safety or the social environment for students. However, there is much to say about how having mandatory school uniforms will help these problems. My question is, are mandatory school uniforms are the practical and legitimate solvent' If we want students to grow into critical thinkers and ethical people, then we have to aim higher than mere conformity. Students, after all, learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions. If we want them to take responsibility for their behavior, then we have to give them responsibilities; we have to join them in asking “What kind of school do we want to create' What aspect do we need to develop for the convenience of academy work for students'” If T-shirts contain slogans that offend us, or gang colors threaten to be inflammatory, school administrators might invite students to participate in analyzing the problem and constructing a solution. Apart from being more respectful, this approach is also more effective over the long run (and better preparation for life in a democratic society), than issuing a decree (“Wear this”). As for me, having worn five different school uniforms for more than six years, and cautiously weighted the pros and cons of these mandatory garments, address the following problematic disturbing issues. Waste of megabucks. A greaser with a loaded family would want a tailor-made school uniform that’s made of dragon skin, and phoenix quilt. The school aims to eliminate possible social and economic gap by unifying the clothing' Without a doubt! It would certainly be an interesting scene to see where the snob pats his $5000 silk and the kid on the corner sniffs his brother’s out-dated freebie. It’s time consuming. Let’s assume it takes about six minutes to properly wear your uniform-buttoning up ten buttons, wearing your tie, belting up your belt, and putting on your tight vest. If there are approximately 210 school days, this means that 6 X 210=1260 minutes, which is equivalent to 21 hours! Even a bladdered bloke on the streets would be spending a much more efficient time (like haggling on dopes!). Third, school uniforms eliminate the students' need for personal expression. By facilitating the conformity of all students, the school will be rid of such asinine notions as individuality and character, and the student body will present a united singularity similar to the constituents of such notable ‘great’ leaders as Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin! Student leaders will be given arm wrists with sign of tilted cross and red whistles linked to their breast pockets for guiding students. For safety, every student would mandatorily be instructed to wear round tin helmets all seasons. Thereby, in order to solve these outrageous problems aroused by school uniforms, I honorably propose my personal solution, which I hope every school administration comprehend with noetic and rational manner: It is my strong and confident belief that students should be sent to schools without any uniforms; or any clothes at all; simply naked, as the advantages and ideal virtues that we can achieve by emphasizing nudity is great and heavily significant. Since the era of ancient Greek, nudism has been considered as great virtue of beauty. The highly respected sport gymnasium is actually based on the root word gymnos (meaning "naked"), the gymnasium being defined, thereby, as a place where one stripped naked to exercise. Pericles, the famous Greek statesman, general, and athlete, said that men should harmoniously work for "the perfect beauty of our bodies and the manly virtues of our soul.... We are lovers of beauty without having lost the taste for simplicity, and lovers of wisdom without loss of manly vigor."10 Even Plutarch, the prestigious Greek biographer, historian, and philosopher displayed the notion that “The Greek admiration for the human body and the willingness to display it were closely bound up with Greek honesty and intelligence as no men or women looked upon nude performances with any lust or wantonness.” So why care about the suffocating uniforms where the greatest beauty of virtue is our own nakedness! Stand tall! Raise your chin! Look into the mirror! Observe yourself! There, there is no other possible God’s masterpiece that could possible replace your beautiful torso. Hundred different colors or mixes of garments can certainly not match Eve’s or Adam’s body! Being nude also advocates health and improves fertility. It is thought that garments limit the flow of air over the skin and interfere with the evaporation of perspiration. Being nude enables the air to travel over the course of your body and will distribute the heat better. Let your skin kiss the air! Also, if the male sex organs are at a regulated temperature without the risk of overheating due to tight or restrictive clothing than the sperm count may be affected. In other words, the more you are closer to nature, the more likely you’ll be breeding excellent quality and quantity of sperms. Furthermore, consider the problems of getting your uniform wet on rainy days. Students every rainy morning will come in with their wet uniforms and start a sudden fight over who will get the heater/fan to dry his/her clothes. Winners-congrats, you just spent at least fifteen minutes flapping your uniform which you will have to laundry when you get home; Losers-sorry, the HealthCare.org assures you that it’s 95% confident that you’ll catch a cold. Why not instead throw your worries by stepping out with your bare feet and torso by taking a morning shower outside with everyone! Bring a soap bar with you! Can’t you just imagine your mother’s smile when she gets the water bill' Have you also ever considered about the idea that being naked can decrease the student sex crime rate in significance' High school students who are at their high level of curiosity toward their opposite sex tend to sometimes express sexual interest on certain parts of clothing; especially school skirts for boys. Imagine the school skirts that girls always wear. Doesn’t the thought of lifting God’s curtain with a single flick prompts steam out of your ears' Especially those who wear short skirts, doesn’t this just make your eyes to shoot lasers' These are just modest and kind examples thankfully, where high school students actually commit sex crimes in order to satisfy their sexual needs and curiosities. According to a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease control, of 5,000 high school students at over 100 high schools, 20% of women answered "yes" to the question "In your lifetime have you been forced to submit to sexual intercourse against your will'" Thus, one in five high school female students has been raped at some point in her lifetime. However! What if you see your peers naked for 3 years consistence' Same as if you watch the same commercial thousands of times, one day you will probably remember almost every aspect of your peers’ characteristic, become dull enough to not care anymore, and ultimately become uninterested on your opposite sexes. Splendid how you can just drop off your worry of the thought of being raped from your peers! Lastly, Social nudity has many benefits - when you partake in the activity of nudism you realize that others have bodies similar to yours, and everyone is blessed with imperfections. You will realize that everyone is equally God’s models with similar phenotypical aspects. Scars, tattoos or hair - becomes less of an issue than it was before your nude experience. Children exposed to social nudity grow up more aware, and accepting of their bodies. They learn to embrace themselves, fully. It could also give that extra incentive to be fit. Children and adults who are accustomed to nudity grow more comfortable with situations such as locker rooms, showers, spas, hospitals and art. I confess, from the bottom of my truthful and innocent heart, that I have done nothing wrong, but addressing the urgent need for promoting my modest proposal for the sake of our future generations of students, teachers, and social ambiance. It is such a horrible scene where even my own younger brother is wearing my old uniform, wasting his six minutes of precious sleep time every morning, getting soaked in the rain, scrubbing his vest that he had dropped Kimchi on, and moreover depressed for his inability to express individualism.