Miss_Havisham

I remember clearly those days, you used to whisper in my ears, how much you loved me. But all you wanted to do was to humiliate me. This morning I couldn’t wait to be your wife, couldn’t wait to have a ring on my finger and I couldn’t wait to say I do. Well those dreams are shattered now and it’s all because of your selfishness. The day I was broken. As I awoke from my interrupted sleep, the sound of rushing and shouting filled my ears. It was of course the day I had been waiting for all my whole life, and by the sounds of it, so had everyone else. I could hear the maids scuttling around, arranging flowers outside my front door. I could hear the clanging of knives and forks against my brand new oak table. My eyes were still closed, I felt as though my dream was finally becoming a delightful reality. Half of me didn't really want to wake up from my dream of the night before; where I dreamt of the moment I walked down the aisle accompanied by my Father. I pictured how beautiful I would look, my snow coloured satin dress, flowing behind me, glistening in time of the flickering golden clock. I thought we were meant to be, but no we weren’t. Why, why, why' My heart lies in pieces battered and broken, over three words today that were spoken to me. These three words that cut me right to the core ‘’the wedding’s off’. My hands shake with an unstoppable need for vengeance, the anger runs towards my head taking control. My senses are slipping, I'm losing control. My heads screaming at me, screaming the words they said to me, my eyes are losing sight. Red. It takes over, images run through my mind. A slideshow of blood, violence, anger, and hate, a slideshow of what you’ve done. Anger rams into my mind, into my heart, trying to break the walls, trying to take control. I feel the walls weakening, I'm losing this battle. A swirl of anguish surrounds me. All I can feel is pain, you made me this way! My barriers are shaking; the concrete walls are cracking, under the red haze of my anger. The walls crumble…and I give into the anger. Screams of agony are surrounding me. It's only fair as you did this to me! It was just like yesterday, those were the last word I heard; those same words shattered me and blow me away! But I won’t be the only one to suffer through this, I will make you pay for this and I promise to always be by your side. Isn’t it just beautiful how am making all this promises, I would have made a great wife. You should have seen me today, I looked so beautiful and that was all for you! I could have given you all you could have ever asked for! How could you leave me standing there heartbroken with all those pitying voices around me' All I really want now is revenge! I stabbed the wedding cake continuously, but that wasn’t enough I just wished and wished it was you. I promise you one thing if we ever meet again, you would wish you never met me. A waterfall pours from my eyes, my knees collapsing. My chest is screaming in agony, my heart can't take it anymore. Oh, it burns so! The anger rushes through me, pounding in my heart. Eyes turning black, face darkening. A sinister smirk taking over my face, my body rises from the ground. Anger shutting down the tears, shutting down my mind, head held high. A smirk lingering, laughter runs through the air. They all think I’ve gone mad, a laugh of the disturbed. It exits my lips, vengeance shines through my pitch black eyes, fury pounds into my heart. My head is losing control to the anger, my laughter darkens. Letting my demons take control, I set out for my revenge. My revenge on you! And sweetie, you’re first on my list! This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. You destroyed that, you left me traumatized and devastated! Is there someone else' Just thinking about you with someone else leaves me with this huge jealousy. But I hear you’re talking to someone new; I can taste revenge, any ideas' Guess what! I can think of a few. I hope she leads you on, like you did to me. I'd laugh at your sorrow. I bet she's pretty, but not as pretty as me, Yeah, I bet she's a looker. Is she easy on the eyes' I hope you fall in love, and she leaves, and your heart dies! The same way you killed my heart..... Am I being a little harsh' Or should I bite my tongue' But honey, I'm just in pain or what you did to me, I just want you to feel how bad it stung. I want to see a grown man cry, like you made me do time after time! I hope you see my face everywhere, because truth is to be told, that face is the face of the only person who will care. They always did say what goes around comes back around. Do you hear that' It's the sound of your heart breaking...God do I love that sound! Am I coming off a little crazy' I'm sorry honey, but you did make me this way! I fell in love with you, but I crashed and burnt. Broken pieces is what I'm made up of. Now I think it's your turn! But being with you made me feel complete and that feeling was just beautiful. How can I overcome you' Even try to forget those three painful words, causing such regrets. My lips uttered with a shake as I think and ask myself if you still love me. The thought of you when I wake up, makes every morning a pleasure and everyday a joy to look forward to, ever since they told me you weren’t coming, every second I felt so faint. You left en empty space in my heart – you made me look useless in front of families and friends. I cannot wait to make you understand the pain you’re putting me through. Why am I shaking' Is it the shock or the fact that I still love you' How can I ever continue with my life, knowing everywhere I go, I will always be looked and talked about. While you continue with your life, with your new ‘girl’. I promise you one thing you shall pay for this shame you brought upon me! But why didn’t you see that our connection was inexplicable, it was destiny – just meant to be. I just want to take the bitterness and the anger in me out on you. But I can’t! Just the thought of hurting you kills me more. I know I have lost you, but was it my fault' Did I do something wrong, but it’s never too late; we can still make it right. It really is just unbelievable how you left me standing, looking like a fool! You left me grieving for you as if it was your funeral. But this was supposed to be our wedding. I just can’t seem to understand what was more important than me. All I want now is to be away from the evil eyes around me! All I wanted was to be the centre of attention just for a day! But you couldn’t let that happen. Why does it always have to be about you' What have I done to deserve this from you' You will never enjoy your life again and that’s a promise. Now I feel – I feel nothing, just regrets of ever loving you, but why do I still want you back' Do I really want to hurt you' Well, you did hurt me! It’s only fair I treat you with the same respect you treated me with. You're not a man; you look much more like a child. But yet so good looking! Short & pale. Please don't get me started about how you look. You bring out the worst in me, when you drive me wild. I guess it’s true when they say love is blind, I saw more in you than, what was actually there, I see now how your far from perfection....so far! Back to this girl, does she make your world turn' The way you turned my world. I hope it's 2012 and your world burns. Like you burnt my world! Is she the only thing you see when everybody is talking and crowded around' Is it like slow motion when she walks, and you can't hear a sound' You're in my shoes now, you're in deep water. Oh boy....I hope you fall right into her trap! Don’t worry, she'll leave your sorry self behind when you think you got her. I hope she'll invade your mind until you can't think of nothing else but her. I'm just going to sit back and watch this heartbreak show that is about to occur! Die, die, die, my darling, and leave me alone. I'll show you true hell one day, so you better be prepared, to switch roles with me. But sweet dear, have one thing in mind....I’ll always be there with you, till the very end!