Marriage

Marriage Let’s look at two marriages; the marriage in the story “Cathedral” written by Raymond Carver with that of Leroy and Norma Jean in the story “Shiloh” written by Bobbie Ann Mason. Let’s also look at a poem “When I consider how my light is spent” written by John Milton. Here is a poem you can compare to “Cathedral.” You have two totally differently marriages, but are they really different, or do they have similarities' For beginners, they both had a third person involved that had a big impact on their marriage. The third person in “Cathedral” can be compared to the person in “When I consider how my light is spent.” Marriages have a pattern and when the pattern has an interruption in it they can become stronger or just simply end. Let’s analyze these three pieces. Let’s look at how these three different pieces of literature really come together. The couple in “Cathedral” written by Raymond Carver was young and was always around each other. They seemed to be in love with one other. Now, the couple in “Shiloh written by Bobbie Ann Mason was an older couple. Here was a couple who had to be in love with each other because here they were in the gym working out together. Let’s look at the couple in “Cathedral” The one problem in their marriage; the narrator was a jealous and nervous man. He was told by his wife that a blind man, Robert, that she knew and used to work for was coming to their house to spend the night there. All he knew of this blind man was that his wife had “worked for him one summer in Seattle ten years ago” (Carver, 1983, p. 455), and that they stayed in touch by making tapes and mailing them back and forth. As for the couple in “Shiloh” the problem here was, Leroy was a long haul truck driver and was always on the road, never home until now. Leroy was involved in a trucking accident and was now doing physical therapy. Norma Jean was so use to him being gone all the time that she was set in her routine and now had to curve it to help take care of Leroy until he could find another job. You can already see the similarities in these two different marriages. You have one spouse who has to change his living style to cater to a man that he has never met nor feels comfortable being in the presence of because the man is blind. In the other marriage you have a spouse who is also set in her ways and now has to change because her husband is now home all the time. It is hard to make change in your life especially when your first thought of it is negative instead of what the positive outcome could be. Once a marriage is set in its routine; change can turn out to be either good or bad. These two men are so lost when life has changed or is about to change for them. The narrator in “Cathedral” has no clue on how to act around the blind man. He made a suggestion to his wife that maybe he could take him bowling. The narrator seemed to have no remorse just a concern on why this man was coming to his house to stay the night. I don’t know if he had said it sarcastically or just forgot the man was blind, but none the less his wife did not appreciate that comment because she told him that “if you love me, you can do this for me. If you don’t love me, okay. But if you had a friend, any friend, and the friend came to visit, I’d make him feel comfortable” (Carver, 1983, p. 457). In “Shiloh,” Leroy has no idea what he wants to do now for work, but in the meantime he is making things from craft kits. He was thinking about building a full-scale log house. He had told Norma Jean he was going build her a new home, a log cabin. Norma Jean had to let Leroy know “that they won’t let him build a log cabin in any of the new subdivisions” (Mason, 1982, p. 68). Once the blind man showed up at the house the narrator really didn’t know what to say to him. He tried to make small talk by asking him what side of the train he sat on, on the way up. That didn’t go over well with his wife, she asked her husband “What’s it matter which side'” (Carver, 1983, p. 458) Later on the narrator did find a common bond between them and that was drinking and smoking. They both shared Scotch and smoked some dope along with the wife. Leroy would do the same thing as the narrator in “Cathedral” and that is smoke dope. You also had these two guys who for some reason couldn’t say the right thing to their wives without either getting a stare or a smart comment send right back at them. Both men also tried to make their wives happy by either coming up with small talk to their wife’s friend or by doing something like building a log home for their wife. It seemed like they both were trying too hard to impress their wives. Both of the short stories had a third person involved with their marriages; Robert in “Cathedral” and Mabel in “Shiloh.” Mabel spent a lot of time in Leroy’s and Norma Jean’s house while Leroy was out on the road. When she visits, she inspects the closets and then plants.” (Mason, 1982, p. 70) Leroy could confine in Mabel because she knew Norma Jean better than he had did. Mabel saw the lack of communication between the two and suggested they go to Shiloh. Leroy had his eyes shut thinking about what would make Norma Jean happy. Robert enters into a household that makes the narrator uncomfortable, totally opposite role of Mabel. If it wasn’t for these third persons being in the story, I don’t believe both men would have found themselves. What I mean is, if Robert would have never ask the narrator to get paper and a pen and then put his hand over the narrators hand to draw the cathedral in complete darkness, the narrator would have never got that feeling of satisfaction he felt at the end and Leroy would have never thought there was emptiness in his marriage after Norma Jean told him she didn’t want to be with him anymore. These were two people who at first brought conflict, but eventually resolution to the two marriages. Let’s look at Robert (the blind man) and John Milton the author of “When I consider how my light is spent,” and see how they both shared talents. These were two men from two different eras who were both blind, who both lost wives to death, who could experience life through a pen and paper and who also shared a love for God. In “Cathedral” Robert showed his love by holding the hand of the narrator as he was drawing a picture of a cathedral. At that point it seemed like the narrator was at peace. Once Robert thought the picture was done he had asked the narrator to take a look and see how it turned out, but the narrator kept his eyes closed. ”It’s really something,” he said. (Carver, 1983) John Milton had devoted some of his work to his late wife. He wanted to do right by God when his time was over on Earth. As he said “To serve therewith my Maker, and present My true account, lest he returning chide.” (Milton, 2007, p. 1162) These are two marriages that happen in real life. You can love each other unconditionally by being around one another all the time or you call love one another by being separated most of the time. The most important thing you need to remember is; both members of the marriage have to learn how to cope with changes. These two stories were prime examples of what not to do. If the narrator in “Cathedral” would have talked to his wife before the blind man came over, he would have not known what to do or what not to say and if Leroy would have talked to Norma Jean to catch up on all he has missed while he has been on the road instead of doing things he had said he was going to do for her in the past, he may have never lost his wife. Marriages start off great. You experience new things with each other, you build a bond and then you become comfortable with one another. Where the marriages start falling apart is when you have a routine in place. You have to keep the marriage alive by keeping the spark alive because once that flame goes out the relationship ends. Commutation is the key to any marriage. Keep the flow constant and stay true to one another. References Carver, R. (1983). Cathedral. In R. DiYanni (Ed.), Literature (6th ed., p. 455-465). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Mason, B.A. (1982). Shiloh. In R. DiYanni (Ed.), Literature (6th ed., p. 67-76). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Milton, J (1673). When I consider how my light is spent. In R. DiYanni (Ed.), Literature (6th ed., p. 1161-1162). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill