Loss_and_Grief

Supporting Individuals Experiencing Loss and Grief Grief can be defined as intense emotion felt when someone experiences a loss that is significant. It is the process of working through the pain of loss, a functional necessity. Typically people view a significant loss as a death in the family or of a close friend, but there are many life changes and transitions which produce feelings of loss and grief. Grief has several components: physical, behavioural, emotional, mental, social and spiritual. One main type of grief would be bereavement. Using an example of someone close being terminally ill in hospital and only being a matter of time before they pass away can be known as anticipated grief. This type of grief gives the bereaved an opportunity to gain closure. Grief involves emotional feelings of sadness, anger and perhaps guilt. It can also include physical effects such as upset stomachs and difficulty breathing. Cognitively it involves forgetfulness, lack of concentration and the behaviours change too like a change in sleep patterns. However anticipatory grief gives the bereaved an opportunity to come to terms with the situation gradually, being able to attempt to start dealing with life without their loved one. Also they have the chance to say goodbye, thank you and I love you which can help with the process of healing after the death. Also with an anticipated death the person who have been diagnosed has a chance to prepare by arranging the funeral, having last requests and ensuring loose ends are tied so there is no problems with the will or assets after their death. All these things will have an effect on the bereaved loved ones and make the impacts of loss less harrowing once they have gone. In an unexpected death for example a heart attack, the impacts of the loss are intensified because there is no opportunity to prepare for the loss, say good bye. This type of loss can produce intense grief which would trigger emotions of shock, anger, guilt, sudden depression, despair and hopelessness. Other losses can also have a significant and long term pact. For example, if your house was burgled and you lose a ring that your mum had given to you, or you lose all your family pictures in a house fire. Loss can be a devastating effect on those who directly experience the loss and also have a powerful effect on friends, family and carers. Murray parkes’s model consists of four phases that people responding to a loss are likely to go through. Some models are set out where they expect you to get through all stages one by one in a certain order. The four phase’s parkes describes are-numbness where there are strong feelings of detachment and numbness. These feelings help to form a psychological barrier to block the pain of the loss; it allows a person to apparently carry on with everyday living and temporarily keeps them from the pain of grief. The 2nd phase is searching and pining which is where the persons concentration levels fall beyond their normal status, they adopt searching behaviours to try and locate what has been lost and they will pine for the person whilst developing pangs of grief. The 3rd phase is depression. This is the part where reality has kicked in and they have suddenly realised that the person or object will not be coming back. They realise that the searching is pointless and their anger becomes feelings of apathy and despair. The 4th and final phase for parkes model is recovery. This is where they have begun to move on from their loss, building new relationships, normal living and new thinking. William worden looks at the process of grieving in a different way to parkes. His model of loss is more active which explores not what happens to you during grieving but how the person can cope with their loss. Worden has established four stages of mourning. With these stages a person does not need to complete each stage in turn before being able to move on to the next one.to have to complete each stage would mean the person would never complete the healing process. Task 1 involves coming to term with the fact that the person has died or the object has gone for good and will not be returning. At this stage it is very normal for the person to be stuck in the illusion that the person or object has not gone and will be back soon. If it was a death they are grieving then they may retain possessions of them or keep the bedroom just as it was-this is called mummification. This is perfectly normal, but should it continue for too long then it is seen as denial. Task 2 is acknowledging and working through the pain of the loss. Suppressing pain can only prolong the process. Many people experience different intensity of pain and it is not uncommon for someone to not experience some pain attached to losing a loved one. After feeling the pain of the loss we come to the part where they have to start coming to terms with moving on and continuing life without them . This is known as task 3. This can be rather difficult depending on the type of role/roles that each other played. For example, managing the finances, or making repairs to the house. To achieve this task they need to develop the skills to show that they are not helpless and that they can cope with their new role. Task 4 is the final stage. Here the person needs to take their emotional energy from their loss and to reinvest it into other aspects of life such as a new relationship, their work, a hobby or other activity. This can be particularly hard as starting new relationships would be seen as dishonouring the deceased and make a pact to never love again as it would be too painful to go through another loss. This model of wordens sees the person mourning in a way that allows them to create a positive readjustment of their life. Age Concern was the banner title used by a number of charitable organisations (NGOs) specifically concerned with the needs and interests of all older people (defined as those over the age of 50) based chiefly in the four countries of the United Kingdom. In addition to providing practical support to individuals, Age Concern campaigned on issues such as age discrimination and pensions, and works to influence public opinion and government policy about older people. When a person you look after dies, you may be not only losing a loved one, but as a carer you may be losing your sense of purpose when your caring role ends. It may not feel like it, but there are many people who you can turn to for help and support, including health and social services professionals who are becoming more aware of this impact. Bereavement care and support are now being routinely offered to all carers, family and close friends. Family members and friends can also provide emotional support. Your local GP can provide a network of resources to help you through loss and grief. These services may be counselling, a psychiatrist and maybe even prescribing sleeping tablets/antidepressants. The NHS can also do the same as a GP. Social Work Services can provide befrienders who can visit you at home and let you talk or even just keep you company. Burglary is one of the most common types of crime. It's a serious and very common crime that affects huge numbers of people. Burglaries can happen in many different ways. You may have been away from home at the time. Or maybe someone tricked their way into your house, or you were busy or asleep when they broke in. And a burglary isn't always a one-off event – some people may have been burgled several times or may be suffering other crimes as well, such as harassment or hate crimes. How you react to being burgled will vary from person to person. Even if nothing has been stolen, most people are upset just at the thought that a stranger has been in their home. Some people don't feel secure in their home any more after a burglary. I have helped my friend after she was burgled. I offered her a sympathetic ear just to listen to what she had to say and having the time for them really helped. At first she was terrified to be at home alone, so I helped her to overcome this by staying a few nights. My friend was rather emotional as several items were irreplaceable because her gran had given them before she died. I was able to help her through it as well by answering her questions and thoughts as to why she was targeted; telling her it was not her fault. Unfortunately we weren’t able to recover her possessions, so I helped her make a scrapbook with all photos and smells and other objects that could also help her to remember her gran. If a death occurs at home the first rule is to contact the local GP. This can wait until the morning if the death has been expected; otherwise the on call doctor needs to be contacted. The doctor needs to come and verify that the person has died. If the death was unexpected then the police will have to be called, especially if it was a violent or accidental. Should this be the case then nothing should be touched or moved out of place as it could be evidence. If the police don’t need to be called then once the death has been verified the undertaker can then be contacted to remove the body. If the family wish the dead persons organs to be donated then the doctor has to be contacted quickly so they can get the body to hospital so that the corneas can be taken. Though if it’s a death at home, then the organs cannot be donated but the body can be used for medical research if requested. In a care home environment there are two main types of orders and they are the DNH and DNR, do not hospitalize and do not resituate. While the one about hospitalization is simple to understand the other may not be to everyone. That one means do not resusitate the person, hence there will be no CPR done on that patient. When a patient comes back from the hospital and is sent to the nursing home to die, they are given a medication to help them be painfree into the final stages of life. The medicine most of the time is roxanol or morphine and it helps them relax so they are not in pain. Nor are they aware of what is happening to them, and this is a godsend for them. Therefore, rest assured your loved one feels no pain when that are at this stage. Once the person dies the nurse and doctor verify the death. After this two carers will give the person a body bath and put on clean nightwear. They also put back any dentures in, or glasses on and shroud the body ready for one last viewing by the family before the undertakers come to lay the body. Death used to be more of a responsibility to family and relatives. Large families would have all stayed in one household and death would be witnessed by all that lived there. Once the person had died the family would be the once to clean the body and get it ready for burial. Nowadays death has a more professional outlook. Many people where possible are either in a care home or in hospital when they die. Due to increasing medical research people are now living for longer. We have many vaccines available for all the epidemic breakouts that would have years and centuries ago killed thousands. It is widely acknowledged that mourning and grieving is an essential part of coming to terms with the loss. Due to medical professions being able to save people and prolong people from dying through vaccinations and other health related services, death these days is seen as a failing in the medical profession of keeping someone alive. Death today does not seem as natural as it was in the past. Christians tend to celebrate the life of a loved one who has passed away. This service is usually held in a church or place of worship before the body is taken to the crematorium or cemetery for a burial. Cremations are often held in the crematorium itself or a more private delicate affair may be held in the funeral parlour. Cremations are becoming more popular these days because of the rise in costs of funeral planning and the lack of graves and plots available. These days the body of the deceased will be held at a funeral parlour rather than at the family home, where the undertakers would wash and cleanse the body. After the funeral service the family usually have a small celebration of the deceased life in the form of a wake. They usually have some food and drink and share fond memories. With Muslims the body is washed by members of the family or close friends usually women for the female and men if male. The body is then wrapped in a simple cloth. They like to make sure that the wrapping is neat and that the private parts are not on display to anyone. Many of the Muslim community come to pray for the final respects of the deceased. They do not bury the body in a coffin and never cremate as it is forbidden. The head of the body is turned to the right to face the holy city of Makkah. Final prayers are said for the deceased and then an official mourning period of 3 days or longer for the family may include a special meal. Jehovah witnesses do not accept blood transfusions or organ donations. They have particular views which they believe to be prohibited and morally wrong to have someone else’s organ or blood in them. They do not have any special rituals for those who are dying but they do have a visit from an elder of faith-similar to a clergy. Jehovah's Witnesses believe that when a person dies, their existence completely stops. This is because the Bible makes it clear that human beings do not have an immortal soul that survives when the body dies. New age started in the 60’s with small groups. It became known as the reaction against the failure of Christianity to provide spiritual guidance. The New Age movement understands death and the afterlife in a multitude of ways, but all forms of the New Age uphold belief in the continuation of the individual after death. Additionally, New Age practitioners tend to possess a generally positive view of death as merely a doorway to the next life, though this is not to say that individual New Agers grieve any less over the loss of a loved one, or face their own deaths with any less anxiety than members of other religions. The new age believe in reincarnation and believe that death is just a beginning to another life spiritually. Many new agers prefer to have burials of loved ones which take on a more eco-friendly feel, like being buried in woods and Greenland. Humanists believe that when a person dies, that is that! The human body is a wonderful organism, but when it ceases to function, the person is dead and there can be no further existence. For some people it is comforting to believe in a reunion with family and friends in some future life, but they feel that that the very idea of an "afterlife" is really just wishful thinking. What matters to Humanists is "here and now"--for ourselves and future generations. Humanists just get on with life and celebrate the life they had and see death as inevitable.