Life_in_the_Moveing_Lane

Shannon Crims Life in the Moving Lane PSY 202 Instructor: Virginia Krauss Hello, my name is Shannon Crims, mother to a 3 year old boy and wife to a wonderful husband who is in the United States Marines where we, presently, reside in sunny San Diego, California. I have not always lived in San Diego, though; I have moved around so many times I can’t even count them on all of my fingers and toes. I have chosen to write about life in the moving lane, and how it has affected me through my younger years, highs school years and my adult life, and what I have gained through these moving experiences. I began my journey, into this world, in Hood River, Oregon, until the age of 8 months, when my mother decided to leave my dad and start her life as a single parent in Bakersfield, California, with my paternal grandparents; which didn’t last long. Only one year later, now 20 months old, my mother decided to move my sister and myself to Tulare, California, to live with my maternal grandparents and start her career working with The California Highway Patrol. My mother, now on her feet, decided to move us to Visalia, California, where she would be closer to her job. At the age of 3 years old I had already lived in 2 (two) different states and 4 (four) different homes; this, I’m sure, was not the life my mother wanted for us but was the life we had started. I can’t say this is something that had affected me yet, due to the fact I was still very young, but I’m sure it affected my mother. We had now lived in Visalia for a while and things for my mom were looking up as she had a great career and was supporting us alone, but still found us moving around as she constantly strived for a better life with better living conditions. I give my mom the upmost respect for always trying to do the best for herself and her family. Visalia had now become my home, maybe not the same house, but where I was going to grow up. Through my elementary years, I believe, I lived in approximately 12 different houses and went to more than 4 (four) different schools. I believe this continuous moving took a toll on the way I am now. Moving constantly I was unable to cultivate many close friendships. However, I was able to meet, one very special person, Jennifer, who has remained constant throughout my life; and am still fortunate to have her as my best friend and confidant, to this day. I continued to go to schools in Visalia until the seventh grade when my mom was offered a promotion with higher pay, but meant, again moving, now to a different county. At this time I was older and things were starting to affect me as I was no longer the happy go lucky kid. I started to feel withdrawn, as I was unsure if I would get to know anyone long enough to develop solid friendships. In Chapter 3 of are text, Adult Development and Life Assessment, it discusses depression and its affects. I know, looking back, this is where my life had been falling into. Depression is different from just being sad or unhappy; depression is a clinical illness characterized by hopelessness, constant sadness, and problems with sleep and fatigue (mayo clinic 2010). I had started developing these symptoms before moving from Visalia, as I now was leaving a place where I was comfortable and had grown up, whether or not it was the same house it was the same town; a place where I had developed friendships. It had been a place I was familiar with and a place I had found to be home. My mother had now decided to take this promotion so we moved again. Not only was this a different school but a totally different atmosphere. I had started my new school and was so withdrawn, at first, and began to look for other things in my life that would fill the void of the loss of my best friend and the life I had adjusted to. Not only, during this time, I was in a whole new situation but I also was going through the psychosocial part of my life. Eric Erikson focuses on this time of my life to be the psychosocial development, a time which refers to the development within the social environment in which a person lives, primarily focusing on relationships with other people (Erikson 1968). At this time, I was not only faced with a new place, but also, my developmental issues I was going through. I questioned myself, would I be accepted at this new school and area or is this just another stage of my life to pull through even if it may take a toll on me. I did make it through this time and was able to make friends and develop a love for my new home; a place where I spent the rest of my entire high school years. Soon after I graduated high school, I decided to move back to Visalia and go to college; back to a place where I thought I would be more comfortable. I shortly realized this was no longer my home; it was just a place I had grown up. I decided, then, to move back to Mariposa and start my adult life. I began my career in the day care field, which I enjoyed very much. This is when I learned all children deserved a stable place they could come to and not wonder if I would be moving or not. I did this for almost 5 (five) years, long enough for the children I was caring for, to start school; providing them with a sense of security in my home. After 5 (five) years passed and through caring for these children I found myself, once again, moving as income had either increased or decreased and was constantly thriving for a better life for myself, just as my mother had always done. During this time I had met my first husband and found us moving to Merced which was a larger town not far from Mariposa. Merced is where we began are lives together, only to find myself soon divorced and moving across the United States to North Carolina and to my best friend, Jennifer, of 22 years was living with her husband who, also, was in the military. At first I wasn’t sure if this could ever be where I wanted to live. Jennifer also had already moved several times and I, finally, just wanted to stay in one town and relax for a while. I had already been through this roller coaster of moving, but found moving there to be, by far, the best decision I could have made. After a short time of living with Jennifer I met my husband, now of six years, who is in the United states Marines, and have realized that this is the life for me; whether I move around a lot or not, as long as there is love and determination I would make it. We have since lived in 3 (three) different states and know for the next 10 (ten) years we will be moving probably every 3 (three) years, to different locations. We now are back in California and still wondering where the next destination will be. Life in the moving lane has been very busy I believe that I have lived in probably more than thirty houses and have yet to settle down in one place for more than three years. I have also come to the realization that no matter where you are living if you have family and a roof over your head it is a home. About 3 years ago I gave birth to my wonderful son, Cameron, and have realized that the moving life is a hard life for any child is it is not a stable one. I have learned if I make each place a home no matter where we may be he will feel secure in his home environment. Many of my past learning experiences have helped me to be a better parent and now realize that all life experiences are the ones we learn from others strengths. Reference: Adult Development and Lifetime Assessment Gary A Witt & Ronald a Mossler Page 3.2 Depression Mayo Clinic 2010