Lgbt

LGBT PSY/265 April 15, 2013 Megan Hild Historically it was believed that being homosexual was an illness or disease. In ancient Greece men would frequently form sexual relationships with boys just at the age of puberty. They would not penetrate the boys, but put their penis between the boy’s thighs until they would ejaculate. It became very common for people in Florence to become a homosexual, so much so that they formed “the office of the night” in 1432. Biological perspectives are based on the possibilities of homosexuality coming from hormonal influences, evolutions, and genetics. When researchers compared family trees of homosexuals and heterosexuals they discovered a significant increase in fecundity in the women related to the homosexuals in the maternal line but not in women in the paternal line (Iemmola & Ciani, 2009). When a research project was conducted with several gay males it was found that the majority of the men had gay family members on their mother’s side of the family. I am fortunate enough to have a gay brother in law so I asked him how it was coming out and what it felt like right before he decided to come out to his family. His name is Dewitt and this is his story on coming out.     I can remember from being in junior high that I was gay. I didn't know it then, but my feelings for the same sex were more prominent than the opposite. I found myself more drawn to the same sex. It wasn't for many years, until I was 18, that I acted on my feelings. It was in secret, cause I was afraid of anyone, family and/or friends ever finding out. My family, was very narrow minded, or that is how I felt when I was 18. My dad was raised in the southern part of Mississippi. He came up in a time where blacks and whites had separate bathrooms, went to separate establishments. He was the one that couldn't find out. My brothers, it wasn't more fear than it was being ridiculed. Growing up, I was always looking to be apart of their "world". They were the cool guys, that I could never be in my eyes. I was always "there" but never included. As time moved on, I found few people I confided in. I looked to one of my friends, a female. She seemed to understand more the way gay people were. For many years, she was my rock. I think gay males relate so well with women, cause gay males offer something to females that straight men cant. That  one thing is friendship, cause what woman wouldn't love that male companion (friend) without the worry of being hit on. I found that true a lot in the gay community. By the time I was in my 20s, I was becoming more confident in myself. I was realizing this wasn't a "phase", it was who I was. I was in fact gay, and I knew the day would come when I couldn't hide it anymore. I was really close with my co-workers, they were of course all females. I felt the urge to come out but didn't know how to approach it. I had to think of a way to get their opinion on the matter before I said "I was gay". I approached each one separately and set a scenario, I said I had a friend I grew distant from and now he comes to me and says he is gay. I didn't now how I should treat my friend. Every one of their response was the same. If he is your friend, then you should except him for who he is. After finding this out from my friends, I then said it was me that was the friend. I received nothing but support from each one of my friends. They said they thought no less of me. I will remember what my friend, Rhonda told me. "That no matter how hard I try it will come out one day", I couldn't hide it forever in other words.  I did my very best though to continue my secret as best I could. Covering my tracks very well, trying so hard not to slip. Saying to my family that I was going on dates with females, making up names. When in fact they were other males, that I was meeting online. I would delete the computers history, just in case when I left I continued this for a long time. Till one night, I ran out of luck. I was living with my brother at the time and was going on another date with a "female". My dad was coming in from out of town with my brother. I was gone when they arrived, and didn't get home till late. My dad decided to use my computer when I was gone and noticed I was going to "gay.com".  My dad looked to my brother I was living with at the time and he always knew I was gay but never said. That next day, I received a phone call from him that my jig was up. I was found out, and dad was mad. My brothers however were very okay with it. They accepted it, and it shocked me. My dad however, it was a war with him. I received a lot of lecture, mostly biblical. I never believed that either. I always thought as long as you were good to people and animals that you should have a place in heaven. I consider myself a good person, and believe god has me on the path where he wants me in life. I keep him close to my heart and will always. As the years moved on, my dad and I just didn't speak of it anymore. From time to time, it comes up, but I dismiss all he says. I came across other people in my community bay gays and lesbians that gave me confidence in not denying it anymore. I’m gay and proud of it. I will never deny who I am. I have a community, family and friends that stand behind me every day. If someone doesn't like me for me, then I guess they don't need to know me. I do not think that there is much difference in when it comes to age because someone’s mind is made up not matter what age. From what I have seen with my own eyes a lesbian relationship is more acceptable than a gay male relationship. I do think that there is a difference in coming out depending on what you are coming out as because society is more acceptable to certain things.