K101_Tma01

Describe the difficulties and rewards of being a carer for a family member. Illustrate your answer using examples from Unit 1 The term ‘carer’ relates to anyone ‘who looks after a friend, family member or neighbour who needs support due to sickness, age or disability’ (Directgov, 2006). Using the Unit 1 materials, the experiences of Ann Walker, 37 (who took on the care of her stepfather Angus McPhail, 79, on the death of her mother), the parents of the disabled young Asians (Hussein et al. study 2002), and experiences from within my own family’s experience of caring, I shall describe and give examples of both the difficulties and rewards of being a carer for a family member. In the UK 6 million people - around 1 in 8 adults - provides unpaid support to an ill, frail or disabled family member or friend; their work saving the government £119 billion per year in care costs (Carers UK, 2012). Governments are rightly interested in carers for this reason, recognising that any reduction in informal care has massive implications for public expenditure (Laing, 2005, p. 4). The UK is one of the few countries in the world to have recognised the vital work of family carers officially (1995 Carers (Recognition and Services) Act ) and to have strove to find ways to enable carers to carry on. Many people become carers feeling they have no choice in the matter. Ann became Angus’ carer for three main reasons, she was a woman and therefore in the majority with 58% of carers being women (Office of Population Censuses and Surveys, 2001) (Carers UK, 2012); she was already sharing a home with her parents when her services became needed, and, she had made a ‘death bed’ promise to her mother to take care of her father. There was no discussion about it. When her mother died her family just assumed Ann would take her mother’s place. In the Hussain et al. (2002) research study (p 11) Tahir’s mother also shows her feeling of lack of choice saying, “They are your children and you have to look after them”. There can also be an underlying sense of obligation or sense of duty. In Ann’s case, she, her husband, Bob and daughter, Zoë, had been living ‘rent free’ with her parents for two years prior to her mothers death, whilst they saved up to buy a house of their own. This, and the fact that Angus had looked after Ann and her mother since Ann was seven, meant Ann felt obliged to care for Angus as a form of ‘pay back’. Within my own family my wife’s spinster aunt, who has always shared a house with her own parents took on the care of her elderly parents as the need arose. Although many carers are employed when they first become carers, and some even continue to be so for a period afterwards, 1 in 5 (Carer UK, 2012) have to quit their job because of the demands of caring, with the consequent loss of income. This can lead to significant financial pressures for them and their family. Ann had previously been a promotions assistant, a job she really enjoyed, but on becoming a carer soon felt she couldn’t cope with looking after her family and working. She gave up her job thinking it would make life easier for her (OU, 2010, K101 Resources, p. 7). Fortunately Ann’s husband, Bob, continued to work to provide the family with an income, so they didn’t suffer the same money worries experienced by some carers. Becoming a carer can mean an end, at least for a time, to the carer’s career aspirations and prospects. Being a carer is hard work. Many of the tasks involved in the care of a family member, such as washing, toileting, helping in and out of bed and up and down stairs are physically demanding. Especially where there is disability or reduced mobility on the part of the individual being cared for. The incident on the stairs in Activity 1 shows that being a carer is not only physically demanding, but can be frightening and dangerous, when both carer and cared for risk injury and even death as the result of an accident. Caring is also stressful. Ann felt stressed by many of the little things related to her caring role, such as Angus shouting for her during the night, disturbing her sleep; or asking for a cup of tea or the toilet just as she was having her dinner. There were also examples of Ann’s caring duties taking priority over her roles as a mother and wife. Such as when Zoë failed her English and wanted to talk, but Ann was busy with Angus. Or, when Bob had prepared a romantic meal to celebrate their anniversary and Angus’ demands led to an argument between Bob and Ann, ending with Ann in tears. Being a carer can also be very isolating. Often, being a carer means opportunities to socialise and meet other people, such as when going out to work, or spending time away from the home, can be reduced or curtailed. Caring responsibilities and demands on a carer’s time mean there is little time or opportunity to socialise with friends. As such, one’s social circle can become restricted. In Ann’s case, whilst her job gave her the opportunity to meet a variety of people she soon found caring for Angus led to a number of restrictions, limiting her social activities and leading to a loss of friends. (OU, 2010, K101 Resources, p. 7). The ensuing isolation and loneliness that seems to be an inevitable part of caring has been referred to by carers as the ‘caring syndrome’ (Cavaye, 2006). In contrast to the above, being a carer can offer some rewards. Family caring enables the carer to share time with the person being cared for, which might not otherwise be possible. This was true in both Ann’s case, and with a number of the mothers in the Hussain et al. 2002 study. It was also true with my wife’s aunt and her parents. However, this is more likely to be true, and a caring situation is likely to be considerably less difficult to manage, if the quality of relationship prior to care being needed is good. (Lewis and Meredith, 1988). Whilst a number of the examples used in Unit 1 have shown caring to be quite isolating, the example of Mrs Bliss (Chapter 1 of the Introductory Reader, p. 12-13) does show how caring can offer opportunities for the whole family to contribute to the caring role, even when the responsibility for caring may fall to one or two individuals. In Mrs Bliss’ case it was her youngest son and daughter who did the bulk of the caring, but her other children contributed in kind, and supported their siblings by visiting regularly. Caring also offers opportunities for interdependence and reciprocity to develop. In my own experience, in my wife’s aunt’s later years, when her own mobility and socialising was in decline, she very much enjoyed visits from our own daughter who was struggling with English, and especially reading, at school at that time. Ba enjoyed sitting and reading to, and writing with, our daughter. This arrangement and relationship was mutually beneficial to both parties. Our daughter’s English improved whilst Ba felt less isolated. On balance, the above examples do show that there are many more difficulties than rewards in being a carer for a family member. It is for this reason that Governments remain interested in helping those who do care to continue doing so. Without carers, care costs for Governments would rapidly become prohibitive. Word Count: 1,262