Journal_Entry

Today is my 70th birthday. Reflecting back who knew the different challenges I would face being a gay man. There is so much I have overcome, but still much more work to do for gay rights. Fifty years ago, I enlisted in the Army. I served and defended my country with pride and determination through the Vietnam War. I dreamed of retiring from the United States Army. I was three years shy of obtaining my goal, because I fell in love with a man. I met Henry in 1974. We maintained a secretive relationship. Back in 1974 there were no Gay Pride celebrations, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Centers (LGBT) or gay communities. It was not appropriate to talk about your love life if you were homosexual. Henry and I were being discrete about our relationship. In 1976 I was discharged from the Army; apparently we were not as discrete as we thought. My paperwork was stamped with dishonorable discharge. I stood before Henry humiliated, dumbfounded and deeply sadden with the question of why and no words coming from my mouth. Henry showed me great compassion and comforted me in my time of anguish. In that I moment I knew we were going to share our life together. Being discharged dishonorably meant no retiree benefits, VA loans to help with housing or GI bill to assist with school. All of it came to an end and I had to accept it. There were times where I felt lost with no direction. Eventually, I was able to move forward with my life. I enrolled in the local community college and from there I attended UCLA to receive my bachelor degree. At 41 years old, I was entering the workforce outside of the United States Army and it was foreign to me. With the help of Henry, I was able to spread my wings and became a successful businessman. I retired at the age of 66. As the years past by, gay rights became more predominate. In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association took homosexuality off the list of mental disorders. In 1993 Bill Clinton signs into law “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. The premise of the policy was good, but still needed work. Gays were allowed to join the military, but it banned homosexual activity. In 2004 same-sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts. 2007 the House of Representatives passed a law for equal rights in the workplace for the LGBT people. We have made great strides as the years pass; however, many more changes need to happen. Nobody could have predicted all this change 33 years ago. The economy took a turn for the worse and many of our investments have gone belly up. Henry and I have been living on a fixed income and we did not plan for the increasing prices of this economy. The cost of living has skyrocketed over the past few years and we are barely getting by. Henry and I are packing up our belongings and moving to West Hollywood. There is a senior citizen community for the elderly. It is open to anyone; however, the community is primarily gay. There are 103 apartments. The complex was designed to help seniors on a fixed income who are over the age of 62. Rent will depend on your income level, and could range from $230-$800. We desperately needed this to survive. Finally, we are going to be able to express ourselves when we want to and feel comfortable. Being discharged from the Army I felt dirty and ashamed of whom I was. There were moments where I did not feel like I belonged, because I loved a man. Henry has been there for me in my weakest moments and happiest ones. Together we have made a successful life. As time progresses, political leaders and society are learning to become more tolerant of the LGBT community. I know one day the LGBT community will be able to live as heterosexual couples do. We will have the same rights and hate crimes will decrease. My only hope is for the future that one day, I will be able to marry the man who has been by my side and who I completely adore.