Is_Parents_Pushing_Their_Kids_to_Much

‘Good achievements in education guarantee a bright future’ is what is commonly believed by most parents nowadays due to the society’s condition where a highly educated individual is often more successful than one who is less well educated. Based on this ‘belief’, most parents implement extra educational plans for their children from a very young age, hoping that they would excel in every aspect, but most importantly in their studies. The most common approach that parents use hoping to improve the standards of their children is sending them for tuition classes, where the tutors drill students on past year questions again and again, in order for them to be able to recognize the same question and be able to answer the question if they see it in the future. However, by ‘loading up’ their children’s schedules with tuition, effectively parents affect their children’s leisure and recreation time. As we know, a healthy mind depends on a healthy body. For many students, tuition classes are too tiring after long hours in school. Sports and recreational activities are almost virtually non-existent since some students already come back late from school after attending extra classes that are provided by the school. Due to tiredness, they are unable to focus on further learning sessions. They lose interest in their studies as they have less leisure time compared to students who don’t attend tuition classes. Consequently, lack of interest cause students to be bored and frustrated with schoolwork, resulting in a possible drop in examination grades and a waste of time and their parents’ money. Coming to terms with examination grades, it can be seen that sometimes, it is not the student himself or herself who is worried about his or her grades; it is their parents who worry about it the most. Some Malaysian parents have been seen to be severely obsessed over their children’s examination results. Despite the disadvantages of unhealthy scheduling of too much focus on academics and too little on extra-curricular activities as shown above, parents still believe in the effectiveness of attending tuition, and when the child fails to perform, the parent does not look back and reflect that perhaps indeed the tuition classes were too much. Instead they blame it on themselves for not pushing their children enough and may resort to disciplining the child. “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is the mantra of many parents, especially Asian parents, whereas in First World countries, such measures are not usually taken, child discipline being restricted to ‘being grounded’ from leaving the house. Asian parents believe that caning is an effective method in disciplining children because it teaches them to fear the stinging pain of being punished. However, in the long run, caning is seen to be a rather ineffective method as it usually results in the child rebelling against his or her parents. And since caning and other disciplinary measures are frown upon as being ‘too extreme’, parents resort to more tuition, more time spent doing revision at home and less time allowed outdoors. This does nothing to help but further increase the stress level of students, which may be one of the few reasons why students commit suicide at such a young age: due to pressure from parents to excel in their studies. However, parents may claim that children need to understand the reason why parents put so much pressure on them is because they believe that their children are able to take it as motivation to work harder at their studies. It is true that parents are the people who care the most for you, they being the ones who gave birth to you, fed you and clothe you from the moment that you were born. It is because parents feel that their child is special to them that they have high expectations for their children, providing the best things they can afford for their children with regards to education and studies, for example sending their children to prestigious private education institutions to give them a step up in the future, when students venture into the world of work and adulthood. All this and more are done for the benefit of their children, hoping that they will be successful in securing a good job and a steady career in life. When children achieve, not only are they proud of themselves, parents are also very proud of their children, especially when they excel in their studies because they are satisfied that all the hard work in pushing their children to study hard has finally paid off. However, parents, especially Asian ones are extremely partial to comparing their own children’s results with those of other children, especially children of the same age with their child whose parents are their friends. However by comparing thus, children can be emotionally disturbed by this constant criticism and this may result in children who lack confidence in themselves. Overall, it can be said that the ‘extreme methods’ used by Asian parents are useful to a certain extent. However it must be recognized that every child has a different personality and thus deserves different methods of encouragement when it comes to their studies. Some children may react well to ‘caning’ or punishment, but others may react better to a more balanced schedule of hard work and playtime. Therefore, it can be concluded that varying methods apply to different scenarios and Malaysian parents should not be judged too harshly on their ‘different’ methods of parenting.