How_Does_Divorce_Really_Affect_Children_

How Does Divorce Really Affect Children' Divorce rates have risen in recent years. Right now 50% of American marriages end in divorce. While the causes are varied, the effects on children can all be categorized into four major groups including stress, maladjustment, long-term psychological and behavioral problems, and relocation with a stepparent and step siblings. Divorce is pretty much always stressful for children. Most children don’t want their parents to get divorced unless the marriage is a bad experience for them due to conflict and strife between parents. That is probably the only time when divorce is a positive occurrence for children. Most children also have a difficult time dealing with the transition of the divorce (Emery). Some children are at a higher risk of maladjustment due to their parents’ divorce than others due to certain factors. Two of those factors are their perception of the divorce and their history of coping with stress. An example of one of those risks is gender. Divorce is harder on boys because the mother usually gets custody and there is no longer a male role model in the home, which can make it harder for them to adjust. Another example is age. Younger children are at a higher risk of short-term effects and adolescents are more at risk of long-term effects. Social status is an additional risk because some children’s needs might not get met anymore when one parent moves out taking their full income with them. The degree of the child’s involvement in the marital problems is again an example of a high risk factor. This situation can cause more anger, frustration, problems with parents, and loyalty problems with parents. Yet another example of a high risk factor is the child’s relationship with their parents prior to the divorce. If there was a problem between children and parents before the divorce, they may become worse after the divorce. If their relationship was good, then problems after the divorce are not as bad. Some other examples are the parents not being able to separate their roles as parent and spouse which causes them to not be agreeable about making decisions about their child’s welfare, continued conflict between divorcing parents and the larger the conflict the bigger the risk for children to have stress, and the child’s perceived loss of the parent who does not have custody. Care must be provided by both parents to strengthen the relationship between the parent not in custody and the child. If not, the child may experience feelings of loss and possible abandonment (Matthews, 2). All of the above risks show there can be short-term and long-term effects on children of divorce. These effects can have a remarkable and life-altering impact on a child’s well-being. The consequences of divorce affect almost all areas of a child’s life. This could include the parent-child relationship as stated above, their behavior, emotions, coping skills, and their psychological development. Children of divorce are likely to have more problems than children from intact families while growing up such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, bad behavior, dangerous behavior that includes early and careless loss of virginity possibly causing STDs and teen pregnancy. Children of divorce are more likely to drop out of school as well. Children of divorce also feel anxiety that they may repeat their parents’ mistakes leading to failed love or marital relationships (Eleoff). Children of divorce can also go on to have problems with their parents’ remarriages and dealing with a stepfamily. The challenges started by step situations can be hard to get through. The child may like the new spouse but then feel guilty he/she is possibly betraying one of his/her biological parents because of these feelings. A lot of behavior problems can start because of this. Also, problems start when the child does not like the new stepparent and then when that stepparent has to discipline the child, he/she might say, “You’re not my mom/dad! You can’t tell me what to do!” This can then sometimes cause the biological parent to take up for their child and then possibly alienate their new spouse as a result, or to take the side of the new spouse and further upset their child. It appears to be a domino effect. Also, the new partner may be mean to the child, especially if they are into alcohol and/or drugs causing stress and trauma for the child, which is never good. If there are step siblings involved, a lot of times they will not get along and that causes stress for the child and the whole stepfamily. It is very difficult for children of divorce to deal with living in a stepfamily situation (Lofquist). How does divorce really affect children' Being a child of divorce, the best personal answer I have for that question is that children are absolutely torn apart by divorce. It definitely has a negative effect on children, and they will always carry around with them the feelings of being from a broken family forever. Works Cited Eleoff, Sara. “An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescents.” The Child Advocate. (Nov. 2003): n. pag. Web. 30 March 2011. Emery, Robert. “How Divorce Affects Children.” The Truth About Children and Divorce. (2006): n. pag. Web. 30 March 2011. Lofquist, Amy. “The Effects of Remarriage on Children.” National Stepfamily Resource Center. (1993): n. pag. Web. 30 March 2011 Matthews, D. Wayne. “Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children.” North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. (Aug. 1998): 2. Web. 30 March 2011.