Family_Time

Growing up I always knew and understood how important family time is. And that is not just for kids but for everyone involved, it brings all closer together, it helps us understand each other’s needs and dreams. My parents are very good at keeping family time. During the week we had our dinners together and possibly breakfast, but this was not a given since all of us had very different schedules and lives. So Sunday lunch, after church was always set-in-stone family time. No matter what your plans were, no matter how hard your friends would pull you into going with them somewhere else, no matter if you are speaking or not with a member of the family, you had to be there. There was no negotiation out of it, there was no excuse, nothing. For me, this family time was a given. You would wake up early Sunday morning, take a shower, dress in your best clothes (your “Sunday clothes”), do your hair as neatly as possible. You had to pass mother’s approval before you left the house. My mother is a very mellow person, very kind, always with a soothing word, always trying to mediate between my father’s disciplinary actions and our rebellion; but on Sundays morning everything changed: my mother would become a drill sergeant, my father was finally one of us, we all had to follow her strict instructions. I still remember those beautiful mornings when we would head out to church, the sun just barely up, the crisp air, the quietness of the city that did not stir to life yet and us all looking beautiful. She didn’t really make a big deal if we kids did not stay throughout the service, but everybody had to be home at 12 o’clock sharp to get ready for our Sundays lunch. That was the most important part of the week. That was the time when we all sat together and discuss the weeks’ events, relax and enjoy good food, good company and, as we grew older, great wine. On Sundays my mother would always cook something extraordinary, or at least it seemed to me extraordinary because of the atmosphere around the table. During the week we would always eat in the kitchen where we had a table, but on Sundays we ate in the Dining Room, my mom was bringing out the good china, the good glasses… so everything tasted better. This was the time when us kids were taught table manners but also this was the only time in the week when the discussions were held on the same level. There were no grown-ups or kids at the table. It was the family. So, this was the time when future plans, real life situations, feelings, issues were being discussed. Being able to actually discuss these things was a huge deal for us kids, since our parents taught us discipline at a very high standard, so you never negotiated, you were only being told what to do. I thoroughly enjoyed those times. As I grew into an adult I understood more and more how important those lunches were. It happened that I met my husband whose family had the same values as mine. At first I was amazed, but then I started thinking that our families come from the same background, live in the same conditions so having the same family values would fall into the pattern. After our wedding we decided to honey moon in Cyprus. We have never visited that country before, we had no idea what to expect, so in order to give us enough time to explore and to relax we took a two week vacation. We checked-in our hotel at a late hour but we were absolutely amazed at the hospitality of the people and most of all their trust in other people. On our second day at the hotel, we came down at the pool and sat at the bar trying to figure out where to start and what to do first. The bartender was a handsome man in his late 40’s, dark hair, green eyes, a thick mustache that really fitted his face, in an obvious good physical condition but not bulky, very happy and welcoming. His name was Mateo, as he told us almost immediately after we sat down. We started chatting; we wanted to know as much information about Cyprus as possible. My husband and I are both explorers, we like to dig into the different cultures and try to understand them, so this is what we had in plan for our honey moon. As it turns out Mateo is a man that we will never forget and we will always cherish the memories we have with him. He told us a lot about Cyprus, about their history. We started visiting the beautiful island and discover its’ treasures. The island’s biggest treasure is its people. Amazing, open, welcoming, patient people. The days went by and we would see Mateo almost everyday. We told him where we’ve been, what we’ve seen, he would give us more suggestions and tell us about him little by little. So we found that he was also the Bar-manager of the hotel and that he performed traditional dances with his dance group in the show lounge of the hotel, twice a week. He invited us to come see him dance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man so passionate, so engulfed in the music he was dancing and so good at it too. Friday rolled around and Mateo threw a weird question at us “Do you have any plans for Sunday'”. My husband and I looked at each other not understanding what he meant. He already knew our plans. There wasn’t anything in particular, just more monasteries sight seeing. We answered “No”, but Mateo did not continue the conversation, so one can imagine how puzzled we were. There is a man that we just met a few days ago asking us about our plans but not revealing anything about his…. Anyway, we went to bed that night. Next day we did not see Mateo, but he sent us a message that we are invited for a Sunday lunch at his place. We were absolutely amazed; delighted, but amazed. So, Sunday morning around 11, Mateo came to pick us up and took us to his house. We kept asking a thousand questions, but he was cool and a bit amused. When we got there we realized that it was just a normal Sunday lunch with the family, except his family was quite extensive: there was his wife and their two children, there was grandma and grandpa, there was his brother with his wife and their children and there was his sister with her husband and their children. All of them so open and I should say happy to see us among them. We were being shown how grandpa is raising fish in a pond made by him, how he grows olive trees and how he produces the olive oil, we were shown an amazing way to cook lamb in a hand made oven (a true engineering miracle), we were explained how history developed in Cyprus first hand as grandpa and grandma lived it. It was an absolute amazing experience to practically take a sneak peek into somebody else’s family tradition that looked so much like our own. There was no more pattern… this was a huge family, they lived in a totally different country with different values and different history and yet their family values were identical with ours. They were courteous enough to speak English at the table, even though we were obviously a minority, so we could take part in their discussions and my family’s lunches came rushing in my head. The same kind of conversation, the same inexistence of adult – kid difference, the same freedom of speech, the same obvious pleasure of being together at the table and sharing good food, great wine and even better company. No matter how far you travel in the world, the family values stay the same. They might present themselves on the surface as different or it might take some digging to find them but they are definitely there and that is the most reassuring believe I have.