Family_Dynamics

Family Dynamics: The Impact of Tragedies Meaghan Alimo October 13, 2010 Sociology of the Family Movie Analysis The book “My Sister’s Keeper”, written by author Jodi Picoult, tells a story of a family faced with multiple challenges that threaten to tear the family completely apart. Kate Fitzgerald, a young girl with a rare yet very aggressive form of leukemia, has the possibility of dying soon. This shocks the family and Kate’s mother, Sara Fitzgerald, immediately starts Kate on chemotherapy. Sara used to be an attorney, but during the story she is solely a stay at home mom. While undergoing chemotherapy, Kate’s oncologist, Dr. Chance, implies that she might eventually need a bone marrow transplant, preferably from a related donor. The Fitzgeralds test their four-year-old son, Jesse, but he unfortunately is not a match. Dr. Chance mentions that another unborn sibling could be a possible match, and Sara suggests to her husband, Brian, that they have another child. Brian works at a local fire station. They conceive another child with the assistance of in vitro fertilization, and that is how Kate’s sister, Anna, is born. “My Sister’s Keeper” is Anna’s story. The cohesion characteristics of the Fitzgerald family were positive and negative according to which members of the family the characteristic was focused on. Kate and Anna, in terms of their separate-togetherness, leaned more towards togetherness. These two had an understanding of each other that no one else in the family seemed to have. It could have been because Anna was always taking care of Kate, but in actuality saving her life with every procedure. Kate felt comfortable and close enough with Anna that she could ask her to sue her parents for the right to her own body so Kate could die. The “I-we” balance of Kate and Anna was primarily “we”. In the movie, the audience feels that Anna is being selfish about her own body. However, she is really just doing a favor for Kate and supporting her sister. This shows the level of loyalty the sisters have for each other. The sisters were so much closer than normal siblings are because of all the stress they experienced together as a team. Even so, the sisters still had disagreements, but it only made their bond stronger. It is understandable why Sara wanted to do everything in her power to save her daughter’s life, but how horrible to know that the only purpose you were created was the use your organs, as if they were replaceable, to save your sibling. Sara needs to work on her communication skills; not only with her sick daughter Kate, but with her other daughter Anna and especially her husband. If your child has to take you to court to get her point across, there is clearly an issue with communication. The loyalty level in the Fitzgerald family varied between each member of the family. In terms of “husband and wife”, Sara and Brian’s loyalty to each other was definitely tested during Anna’s court case. Sara felt that Brian should be loyal to her throughout the entire situation. She believed when they took vows, that Brian would be there “through good times and in bad”. When Brian supported Anna’s decision to continue with the lawsuit, Sara felt betrayed by her own family. She says to Brian “whose side are you on'” By asking that question, it shows that she feels like she is standing along in the situation and that Brian has somewhat abandoned her and their marriage. The ups and downs in the level of loyalty between Brian and Sara made them stronger after the death of Kate. The family as a whole was mainly together, mostly because everything revolved around Kate and making her feel as comfortable as possible. They all wanted to spend as much time as they could with her, knowing what would eventually come. However, Anna and Jesse surprised everyone when Anna sues her parents, and Jesse takes the bus to bad parts of town to try and get away from the troubles at home. This shows that each member of their family does like being alone, but they mainly participate in group activities together. Each member of the Fitzgerald family exhibits their independence quite often. All of the children have their own identities, personalities, opinions and issues. Anna is independent in her mission to sue her parents; Jesse gets away on his own a few nights a week and has his own personal issues he deals with. Kate is a very opinionated, strong person. However, she is dependent on Anna for her healthy body parts, doctors for help, and her siblings for support. Sara forces her assistance on the family, even while Kate is independent and fights her own physical and emotional battles. Even though all of the cohesion characteristics vary within the family, they ultimately come together as a whole. The conclusion of the level of Separateness-togetherness was 3; I-we balance: 2; Closeness: 5; Loyalty: 6; Activities: 3; Dependence-independence: 2. In terms of flexibility, Sara shows the worst example in the family. She refuses to listen to other people’s views of what he believes is best, and firmly intends on only letting her plan follow through. Sara has a very difficult time understanding what is best for Kate. She is so concerned with her plan being followed through perfectly that she isn’t able to comprehend that her “perfect plan” might not be what is truly best for her ill daughter, Kate. At one point Kate’s sister Kelly says to her “It’s important for you to feel like you never gave up.” This shows Sara’s dedication to her children, which also corresponds with her persistent attitude. Although Brian has less of a say in the family decisions than his wife does, Sara seems to be the member of the family using the most cohesion skills to keep the family operating. Sara says to the doctor “I don’t care what anybody says, we’re doing this operation.” This demonstrates the stubbornness of Sara is and that she is trying to prolong Kate’s life as long as she can. She clearly is not ready to accept the fact that Kate’s life is going to end soon, whether Sara is ready to face it or not. The ultimate conclusion of ratings was: Leadership: 3; Discipline: 2; Negotiation: 1; Roles: 3; Rules: 4; Change: 3. The roles in the Fitzgerald family are fairly traditional. Sara is the disciplinarian; Brian is the supportive, loving father; Anna is the sassy, opinionated youngest child; Jesse is the artistic, misunderstood oldest sibling and Kate is the cancer-stricken, yet strong middle child. Each member of the family represents their roles well and they all combine to make a very interesting family. The rules in the family are also clear and concise. Everything revolves around Kate and keeping her strong. The only rule that is disobeyed is when Brian brings Kate to the beach without Sara’s permission. This tests the strength of the family, ultimately bringing them closer together in the end after initially causing some tension. Change is not prominent in this family; however, it is represented when Anna sues her parents. Communication is important in every family. For the Fitzgerald family, communication was especially important. However, it was not always practiced as it should have been. In terms of listening skills, Sara never really listened to anyone else’s opinion. She did what she wanted and what she thought was best for Kate and the family, and never really took the time to consider other points of view. Anna definitely possessed very persuasive speaking skills. She spoke her mind and got the point across that she and her sister Kate wanted. Jesse, however, did not speak his mind enough and did not express his feelings. He eventually had a breakdown in court and revealed Kate’s wish to everyone. Self-disclosure was nearly non-existent within the children of the Fitzgerald family. However, it was common between the parents and children. The children shared everything with each other, including Kate’s decision to stop receiving treatment. When Kate had her first kiss, she came home, ran in and told Anna right away. This demonstrates the level of trust the girls had for each other. The children may have not felt comfortable with sharing these details with their parents in fear of judgment. Clarity in the family was demonstrated between the children, but again, not between the children and parents. The level of respect in the family was prominent. However, there were times when Sara would lose her temper. The children may have lost respect for her at these times but still valued her as a mother and respected the fact that she had a huge weight to carry on her shoulders. In conclusion, “My Sister’s Keeper” was an excellent representation of the trials and errors that families with terminally ill children go through. This movie showed several family dynamics and the people change when “the going gets tough”. This cast represented typical family roles and can teach people what to do and what not to do in times of trouble. Family dynamics are very complicated, and can be tested in many ways. Sometimes families are not sure if they can make it through these hard times, but this movie shows everyone that there is hope in everything. Often times, families have to hit rock bottom in order to realize that they are truly lucky, and everything happens for a reason.