Failure_of_Fatherhood

ID#: 1393578 Paper #3: Proposal English 1123-05 Professor McCormack 11 March 2011 The Failure of Fatherhood: Three Solutions In life we face countless challenges and adversities that, by ourselves, seem almost impossible to overcome. In the ideal all-American lifestyle the fathers of this world are there to help and guide their children through these stressful predicaments, but sadly that is not reality in most cases. In a world full of sinful desires and distractions most children find themselves relying on their own actions and limited experience to get through the hardships of life. Although mostly everything that happens in life is based off of our own actions or decisions, the children without guidance do not have a male figure to rely on or to ask questions about their struggles throughout life. Many children on this earth grow up without a father or with a father in a bad lifestyle or situation. These children are struggling through their daily experiences while their father is either not there or wreaking havoc upon their life. The fact that some fathers choose to indulge in alcohol, drugs, or other filthy habits instead of being there for their children is quite astonishing. Although those fathers may not be in their children’s life, the fathers that are causing physical or mental harm to their children by abusing them is not any better. Only God knows where the rest of the lacking father’s are. While they are off doing as they please, without a single thought or care about the child they abandoned, their child lives each day without knowing where or even who their father is. A child needs a positive influence in their life and the father’s lifestyle and morals, no matter if they are positive or negative, play a colossal role in how their child will live their own life. Reb Saunders as the Solution Reb Saunders, a man of great faith and wisdom, is a father with many different views of how to raise his children. He is a very powerful and respected rabbi, thought to be next to God by his followers, with a life based around serving the Lord. While this may not seem like a bad lifestyle it greatly affects the way he parents his children, particularly Danny. As he participates in his younger children’s lives spiritually, emotionally, and physically; he uses a very unorthodox way to parent Danny. He does not speak to Danny about his daily struggles, needs, or wants. He only verbally interacts with Danny while they are studying the Talmud. This leaves Danny emotionally empty and always in search of someone to talk to. In Chaim Potok’s novel The Chosen, Reb Malter explains to his son about Danny’s situation, "Now, Reuven, listen very carefully to what I am going to tell you. Reb Saunders' son is a terribly torn and lonely boy. There is literally no one in the world he can talk to. He needs a friend. The accident with the baseball has bound him to you, and he has already sensed in you someone he can talk to without fear" (113). This is not a feeling that children in this world should feel. Although Danny may feel the pain deep down, he tries to cover it like most children with parental problems. As if to stand up for his father’s unorthodox ways of raising him, Danny tells Reuven, “[My father] taught me with silence . . .to look into myself, to find my own strength, to walk around inside myself in company with my soul . . .. One learns of the pain of others by suffering one’s own pain … by turning inside oneself . . .. It makes us aware of how frail and tiny we are and of how much we must depend upon the Master of the Universe” (The Chosen by Chaim Potok). As a child grows in these strange teachings they will only grow fonder of the beliefs as they age. It is almost as if they are being brain washed from birth. Danny shows a clear sign of this in his discussion with Reuven: "'You can listen to silence, Reuven. I've begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own. It talks to me sometimes. I feel myself alive in it. It talks. And I can hear it'" (262). Reb Saunders is truly a caring and loving father, as he shows by saying “‘My son is my most precious possession. I have nothing in the world compared to my son’,” (167) but he just has very unusual ways of showing this. He is much like the fathers that don’t quite fit into the great category or the terrible category; he is merely an average father. Reb Malter as the Solution Reb Malter is a very compassionate, down to earth man. He stands up for what he believes in, but does not patronize or persecute others for following their own beliefs. He is a man with strong faith in God and love for his son, Reuven. He teaches his son ways of compassion and forgiveness, for example he tells Reuven “‘If a person comes to apologize for having hurt you, you must listen and forgive them’" (68). He is there for Reuven when he needs someone to talk to and questions the meaning of living this life with struggles. “What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye' … I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something ” (217). Reb Malter supports and guides Reuven in his daily life and his decisions. When Reuven tells his father that he is going to be a rabbi instead of a mathematician, Reb Malter is overcome with joy and praises his son. He does not avoid or question his son, he shows complete support and continues the conversation with the joy he is feeling. "Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things" (219). While he does all this praising and supporting, he does not keep the truth from Reuven. He is blunt and honest, “‘People are not always what they seem to be . . . That is the way the world is’” (79). Reb Malter is a loving, supportive, and honest father. He is a great role model for the fathers on this earth. The Ideal Solution As the problem of lacking fatherhood in our society today worsens, with almost every birth, a solution must be found. Fathers today seem to be absent in the homes, but in order to create a positive and emotionally stable living environment they must get involved. All of the drugs, alcohol, or sinful desires in the world cannot combine to match the greatness of the miracle known as fatherhood. The fathers of this world need to realize that there is something special at home and their presence could greatly change the lives of the youth. Undoubtedly it does not stop there, the fathers must not only be in the lives of their children, but also become a positive role model in their life. The men of this world must become a father that a child can look up to and strive to become. A father must love and support their children, but should not keep the truth of this world from them. Fathers need to show them the dangers and teach them to avoid all sinful desires. Overall we must bring the faith in God and the desire to be like Christ back into the homes across this earth.