Explore_the_Links_Between_Self-Awareness_and_at_Least_One_of_the_Core_Conditions

Explore the links between Self-awareness and at least one of the core Conditions In this essay I will focus on the Three Core Conditions which were founded by Carl Rogers. These core conditions are believed to be fundamental and paramount to utilise in the person centred approach to counselling, as mentioned in the book ‘A Way of Being’ (Carl Rogers 1980) Carl Rogers recognised the three core conditions needed to be linked together to achieve the facilitation of learning, change and growth. The three core conditions are Empathy, Congruence and Unconditional Positive Regard. I will attempt to explore the links between self-awareness and at least one of the core conditions. Giving some examples of how I use this within my work now and previously. Empathy Empathy is to be able to understand and feel what the client is experiencing not only emotionally, but physically as well, and if the counsellor is able to portray this understanding, then this is seen as a good starting point. Some people by nature are more empathic than others. Empathy is required by the counsellor to understand the client from his or her point of view. In addition for the counsellor to be able to achieve this perspective, then they must be able to identify the client’s feelings linked to this view point and successfully communicate them back to the client. Paraphrasing can be an effective way of checking out with the client whether your understanding of the situation or issue is accurate. Reflection is also a way for the counsellor to express empathy by getting a picture of the client’s world, issues and feelings they have faced (walking in their shoes). It is about having an understanding of what the client is feeling inside and showing a sensitive awareness and understanding of this. Empathy not only requires the counsellor to understand the client’s perspective, but also requires the counsellor to view the client in a broader context. For example the client’s role and standing within their family, work and community. Another element of empathy is to be able to gauge the differences between the client perspective and that of reality. Congruence is essential throughout this process if empathy is to be achieved. “Empathy is a continuing process whereby the counsellor lays aside her own way of experiencing and perceiving reality, preferring to sense and respond to the experience and perceptions of her client. This sensing may be intense and enduring with the counsellor actually experiencing her client’s thoughts and feelings as powerfully as if they had originated in her.” (Mearns & Thorne, 1999, P41) “Empathy involves fully understanding and sharing another person’s feelings.” (Geldard & Geldard, 2003, P31) Congruence Congruence is also known as genuineness. It is paramount for the counsellor to be his or her self if congruence is to be portrayed. If the counsellor is successful in this, then the likelihood of the client setting barriers in place are minimal. The counsellor must be able to convey this genuineness if counselling is to be effective and productive. The client must be able to view the counsellor as a real person. As a counsellor you should not present a front which could be seen as a barrier to the client. The counsellor should clearly demonstrate that what they show outside is what they are feeling on the inside. It is also important for the counsellor’s body language to present an appreciation of what is being said by the client. The counsellor can convey this understanding through their verbal communication and non-verbal gestures. This verbal and non verbal communication will form the basis on which a trusting relationship and a genuine rapport can be built. There is an opportunity for the counsellor and the client to share their attitudes and feelings. However, it must always be the responsibility of the counsellor on how much they disclose to the client of their own personal experiences. To send clear messages to the client is very important that, if the client is not able to pick up on your congruence in the counselling sessions, then barriers are going to be set in place. Body language including speed of movements and facial expression and the tone of speech are essential factors to congruence. These positive messages can be reinforced through good eye contact, the counsellors body posture also needs to be relaxed to show openness and sensitivity to the client’s personal space. It is important for the client to gain trust in the counsellor. If the client is able share some of the counsellors’ experiences and what the counsellor is attempting to portray through verbal and non-verbal communication, this can then be viewed as genuineness and realness. This is a good basis for trust to be built. This would then lead on to conveying unconditional positive regard. “Congruence is the state of being of the counsellor when her outward responses to her client consistently match the inner feelings and sensations which she has in relation to the client”. (Mearns & Thorne 1999, p84) “Be yourself” (Geldard & Geldard, 2003, P36) Unconditional Positive Regard Unconditional Positive Regard is seen as a basic trust. As counsellors they have to be able to portray and by experiencing a positive, accepting and non-judgemental attitude towards whatever the client is conveying. This trust allows the client to develop self worth. The counsellor needs to show respect for the client as a person, and also respect for the situation they find themselves in. The counsellor must maintain a neutral stance be unbiased and non-judgemental in their approach. It is paramount that the counsellor maintains this non-judgemental approach to the client at all times. It is likely that the client will be experiencing low self esteem and self worth. It is believed that in order for a counsellor to support a client effectively, then the client first has to feel totally accepted, and this means being accepted without any conditions or labels. Only when this has been established and trust has been built will the client be able to grow. As parents we give unconditional love to our children, no matter what they do we still love them. In the counselling scenario it doesn’t matter what the client has done or said they will not be judged. It could be a factor that up until this point in their lives the client has never experienced positivity. It is therefore the counsellors’ responsibility to exchange or attempt to turn the negative experience into a positive one. This should begin to enable the client to find confidence and self respect in themselves. “Unconditional positive regard is the label given to the fundamental attitude of the person-centred counsellor towards her client. The counsellor who holds this attitude deeply values the humanity of her client and is not deflected in the valuing by any particular client behaviours. The attitude manifests itself in the counsellor’s consistent acceptance of and enduring warmth towards her client”. (Mearns & Thorne, 1999, p64) “Unconditional acceptance involves being non-judgemental.” (Geldard & Geldard,2003, p33) Having studied the three core conditions, I feel the one I use mostly is unconditional positive regard. In the following paragraphs I will attempt to demonstrate my own self awareness around this. In my previous line of work and also in the work I do now, I feel I show a non judgemental approach. To give you some examples, previously I worked within a Forensic Psychiatric Unit, caring and supporting patients some of whom had committed serious crimes. So it was vital to show and demonstrate this approach, to be understanding and also see things from their point of view. If you are able to put yourself in another person’s world (walking in their shoes) then it gives you a fuller picture of that person, about what they did and why they did it. This can give you a greater understanding. On occasions I found this quite difficult to do, especially when you knew the crime they had committed. With one patient in particular I needed to constantly remind myself of my work role and struggled at times to not bring my personal feelings into the situation. On times some patients would say things to get some response or reaction from you, almost like a shock tactic. I am currently a scheme co-ordinator within a housing project and my role is to accommodate 16-21 year old young people who are leaving the care system and also homeless young people. Again it is very easy to judge these young people. When you get the information of where they are presently, the majority of them have been involved with some sort of criminal behaviour and/or mixed up with substance misuse. Then it can be easy to assume this is why they were put into care, but when you look at the fuller picture, or you are given the opportunity to meet, listen and talk with the young person then you are able to view for yourself, and this in a way brings you back to reality making you see and understand there are always two sides to a story, you must never assume or ever judge someone. What I have picked up on, certainly with young people, is that they can be negative with themselves and some can have the feeling of worthlessness. The experiences they have faced and gone through, of always being put down and most find it quite difficult to take on any positive feelings or praise. It is almost as if they don’t deserve it and are unworthy of it. I remember one situation when a young person had accessed several foster placements and had failed in all of them due to his offending behaviour. I met with him and after talking with him for a while I said that we would be able to offer him accommodation and support, his words to me were “why would you want to do that, I’ve told you what I’m like”. I answered by saying “I feel you have been very honest and open with me and because of this I have gained an understanding of what you have gone through”. So we provided him with the support and accommodation and luckily for this young person he went onto a training scheme and is doing really well. “Big boys don’t cry” (Merry T, 2002, pg 30) Some young people appreciate just simply being understood, listened too and when someone is able to relate with them and they see you as being genuine and on the same wavelength as them, then a greater understanding is gained. So owing to these examples, this is why I prefer unconditional positive regard as I feel I am able to understand and see things that relate to another person’s point of view (see things through someone else’s eyes). Although, I do believe for a counsellor to view a client as a ‘whole person’ it is essential to be use all three core conditions. “As persons are accepted and prized, they tend to develop a more caring attitude towards themselves. As persons are empathically heard, it becomes possible for them to listen more accurately to the flow of inner experiencing. But as a person understands and prizes self, the self becomes more congruent with the experiencing. The person thus becomes more real, more genuine”. (Rogers, 1980, pg 116) I believe self awareness is something we gain from life experience and challenges. As mentioned in the book Counselling Skills for Health Professionals “In this sense, then, the process of developing self-awareness is a continuous process because we are continuously changing”. (Burnard in Nelson and Thornes, 2005) Conclusion To conclude and draw this essay to an end then personally I feel to the best of my abilities, I have given clear descriptions of the three core condition which are fundamental and paramount to utilise within the person centred approach to counselling. Also I have chosen my preferred core condition which is unconditional positive regard and given some examples of why I chose it. In carrying out this essay it has given me a greater understanding of the person centred approach to counselling and I feel that the experiences of my own life would be something I could reflect on and draw upon within counselling. I feel to view a client as a ‘whole person’ then it is essential to utilise all Three Core Conditions. Bibliography Burnard, P (2005) Counselling Skills for Health Professionals (4th edition) Cheltenham: Nelson Thornes Geldard, K & Geldard, D (2003) Counselling Skills in Everyday Life Hampshire: Palgrave Macmillan Mearns, D & Thorne, B (1999) Person Centred Counselling in Action (2nd edition) London: Sage Publication Ltd Merry, T (2002) Learning and Being in Person-Centred Counselling Ross on Wye: PCCS Books Rogers, C (1980) A Way of Being New York: Houghton Mifflin Company