Drugs

Everything is hazy, just the way I like it. The dogs are floating around again, they always do that when i'm like this.... The pill pottle is empty again, the kids must have been here... I still have kids' I forget a lot... I'll just check the trash can... The dogs took them again! "Give them back right now!!!" He got away... I'll just go get more. "She's not answering." I said with a frown. "Do you need a ride home honey'" Mrs. Cook asked. "No, i think i'm okay. She'll pick up eventually." Keys. Keys. Keys. Keys. Car. Car. Car. Car. Reverse. I forgot i have a basketball goal. Another dent. TAKE OFF! mailbox. Not again... Another dent. That was crazyyy, i tore up my grass... I mowed that yesterday.. I think... I don't have a lawn mower though. I'll go check. GARAGE. There's a wall here. Dent. My favorite song is on. "Okay i take it back, i might need a ride." my girlfriends mom knew how my mother got sometimes, but she was always too polite to ask. I gave my girlfriend the awkward hug any eighth grader would and headed out. It was an awkward car ride, both of us were assuming what was going on, but neither of us said anything. "So how's military school'" this is how most people started conversations with me when i was home. "It's military school, you know... military.." she laughed a little. "Regret the truck yet'" she said it with a sarcastic grin. "As much as i regret forgetting breakfast this morning." we both laughed, but i actually regretted missing breakfast more, i was kind of hungry. "Innnnn a momennttt likeee thisssss, daaa da daaa da da da da", I'm gonna go back inside. Oh god. stairs. "Do you want me to wait'" she said sincerely. "Nooo i'll be alright, i'll probably see you tomorrow, nighty night." I took the death walk to the front door, noticing the my basketball goal had fallen over. Mrs. Cook stopped in the street in front of the house to say something. "Looks like somebody clocked your mailbox good this time, tell your mom i said hey!" I was always so excited to come home from military school, until this very moment. The moment where i would have to walk in on my mother passed out listening to her scream insane things that made absolutely no sense. The music is back on.. sleep time.. Knock. Knock. Knock. Sweet. Nobody is answering. Luckily she always keeps a key under the matt. Until tonight apparently. Well i'm dumb, it's unlocked. "MOM'" i screamed, nobody answered. The tv was on Law and Order. It was really loud, first step was, turn it down. My dogs, Shelby and Oreo, ran up to me crying and barking. I guess it just runs in the family to cry and bark at Bailey, even the dogs do it. I walk past the couch to my mom's room when i see an empty pill bottle. Oh my god, that was half full even after my brother took some. "MOM WHERE ARE YOU'" I ran to her room, i find nobody, expect an empty bottle of vodka. I checked for alcohol this morning, but apparently she got more. "MOM'" I run to the kitchen when i heard music, very faintly. Is she in my room' I ran up the stairs yelling. "MOM ARE YOU UP THERE'" no mom. no music. I still heard it. The garage, really' I run down the stairs as fast as i can, open the garage door. What i see instantly takes my breathe away, taking away every single thought that was ever on my mind, the blaring radio silenced, the dogs barking got quiet, the tv got quiet. Everything went silent. The car was rammed into the wall with her passed out onto the brick stairs. "MOM' ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!" no answer. She was breathing, but not moving much. I try to pick her up, but picking up a limp body isn't very easy. My phone starts to ring but i ignore it because i was too busy, she was getting inside, she would be okay, she was always okay eventually. My dad didn't think she was okay. My brother didn't think she was okay. I knew she was okay thought, nothing was wrong with her, nothing could be wrong with her I see a light in my drive way out of the garage, oh god, please don't be my brother, please don't be my brother. It's my brother. He's with his friends, i get her into the house barely, and push her in a little. He stands out of his car laughing with a friend. "Why are you in the garage' Holy ____ what happened to mom's car' Were you trying to drive it'!'!" I was crying. "Yeliab it's cool if you did, just tell mom when she's ya know.. and not.. ya know.." I was still crying. My brother got closer and saw a foot in the door. "Oh god." he ran for her too, his friend stayed in the car. We both picked her up and set her in the chair. "What the hell happened Yeliab, you still live here for this' What the hell is wrong with you." "Ben, this isn't the time for that." Her body rolls onto the chair, seemingly lifeless. "Dad's calling" Ben said with a confused look on his face. "He's calling too' this is officially the best night. Ever. Let's go celebrate!" He ignored it. We talked about what we're going to do. Then we started looking for more alcohol. "She hid some in a bowl'" Ben laughed a little. "You're just not good at looking for this kind of stuff are you." "Well Ben, i'm still working on my degree in being as good as you, i'm getting there though don't worry." He didn't like the comment very much. Whooo turned on the lights... Why is there a dog licking me. Am i in a chair' Sleep. "Oreo get down" yelled Ben, "This is literally the most annoying dog of all time, another reason why you shouldn't live here." He said it with a confidence that i thought was annoying. "Well Ben, i have this thing called love, are you familiar with it' Well whatever. I have it for my mom, ya know... The person who made me..." That got him really mad. "Okay smart___ do you want to deal with this alone' I'm leaving." He actually began to leave. "Ben we can't leave her like this" I yelled from the garage door. He turned off mom's car and started walking towards his, "She would" he said smitefully. I went back to her to say goodbye, "Mom' are you awake'" Why is somebody shaking me... "Alright bye mom..." "____ you shake monster" "Love you too mom" "Where are we going'" i asked Ben. "Dad's house idiot." Thirty minutes went by. My phone rings. "Hey mamar." my grandmother was breathing hard. "Do you have any idea what the hell you have done to your mother'" she said angerly. "What'" "You think you can just run around and do whatever you want, you're mother has to go to the hospital for what condition she is right now. I hope you and your brother feel bad for the monster that you have created of her. She loved both of you. You both left. "Mamar, i go to a boarding school" i said sadly, she pretty much ignore it and went on with the rant. "It's you're fault she's like this." Everything got quiet again. "It's you're fault she's like this." "It's you're fault she's like this." "It's you're fault she's like this." "It's you're fault she's like this." "It's you're fault she's like this." Replayed. Over. and over. In my head. She kept yelling, but i couldn't listen, i sat down the phone, staring at the wall. "It's you're fault she's like this." It was amazing too me... How one could accuse somebodies 14 year old son of such a thing. The counselor agreed. He offered me pills. I stopped seeing him. One simple phrase, could change a boys life. Forever. One simple image, could scar a boys life. Forever. The will to push forward came from somewhere unknown. Everyone i once depended on, once loved, had now turned against me. My friends weren't allowed to see me. My parents didn't realize when they saw me. "It's you're fault she's like this." The one simple phrase, spoken by one i loved so much, about one i loved even more. Awoke my mind. I packed my bags for military school the next day, going back to the place that now didn't seem so bad. "It's you're fault she's like this." I laughed. A lot. "They're crazy." As i rode back to military school i remembered something absolutely awful. I put down my gameboy and called my brother. "BEN! I left the light on again."