Domestic_Violence

Domestic Violence in Relationships Count to ten - another woman was battered in the United States. Wait sixteen minutes - another man was battered in the United States. “On any given day in Rhode Island, 52 people call a domestic violence hotline, 44 women and children spend the night in a domestic violence shelter, and 34 people seek community based domestic violence services.” (SOARinRI.org). These statistics are unbelievably retched. Domestic violence is an issue that cannot afford to be overlooked. “One in four women have experienced domestic violence their lifetime.” (Domestic Violence Research Center). Take a look at this statistic and think of four women in your life and imagine one of them being the victim in an abusive relationship. It is a horrific thought to think someone you know, or just 25% of the female population, are victims of domestic violence. What kind of monsters would take advantage of having someone that loves them in their lives by hurting them' A large problem that occurs in domestic violence cases is that most may not know what the definition of domestic violence is. Domestic violence does not just consist of being threatened at knife-point or beaten up. “Domestic violence consists of a pattern of coercive behaviors used by a competent adult or adolescent to establish and maintain power and control over another competent adult or adolescent. These behaviors, which can occur alone or in combination, sporadically or continually, include physical violence, psychological abuse, stalking, and nonconsensual sexual behavior.” (EMedicine.com) There are many people out there, women and men, who believe their partner is just being overprotective when they dictate what the other can and cannot do, or talking them down about themselves, others they care about, or things they are capable of doing. These things are instances of domestic violence most people overlook because they aren’t being physically harmed. “Psychological abuse includes threats of physical harm to the victim or others, intimidation, coercion, degradation and humiliation, false accusations, and ridicule.” (EMedicine.com). Psychological abuse is just a gateway to physical abuse if the abuser can get away with it. It shouldn’t take physical abuse to realize that its an unhealthy relationship. Stalking is a part of domestic violence: “Annually in the United States, 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner.” (dvrc-or.org) Stalking is most common after releasing oneself from an abusive relationship. More women then men become victims of stalkers, which are usually ex husbands and boyfriends. Many people think that after they escape out of an abusive relationship that having their abuser stalk them does not count as domestic violence anymore, but it does and they can be charged for it again if its acted upon. Actions can not take place to help if no one knows the problem. A commonly asked question in domestic violence is “Why do they stay' Why do they keep themselves in a harmful circumstance'” Women in these relationships often aren’t pitied because others see escaping the situation as an easy take. In this instance, the words “easier said than done” apply. There are many reasons that women feel like they have no escape, one of them being that it is comfortable for them to stay. Some people believe that if they try to escape the relationship, their partner will chase them down and hurt them even more, or possibly kill them, and they start to believe the chance isn’t worth it. If the abuser in the relationship also controls the partner’s economic situation, the partner may fear that they will not make it very far without any economic means. This case is very common in victims with children who fear leaving the child behind could end up fatal for them, and without any economic means, could not bring the child with them. Some women are used to the abuse; growing up, that may be the only kind of “love” and “attention” they received. If they were nurtured that way, then it becomes their definition of a healthy relationship. This is where the learned helplessness comes into play. Learned helplessness is defined as “A laboratory model of depression in which exposure to a series of unforeseen adverse situations gives rise to a sense of helplessness or an inability to cope with or devise ways to escape such situations, even when escape is possible.” (Dictionary.com). If someone was brought up with abuse as the backbone of their family dynamic, then the child could achieve learned helplessness from them. If they could not escape the situation then and just gave into it, the same rule will apply to them in an abusive relationship, resulting in learned helplessness. Learned helplessness can also start during the relationship when the victim gives up on trying to escape the situation and becomes submissive to the abuse and the abuser. This is a large part of why many women have issues escaping the claws and wrath of their abuser. A common myth in domestic violence is that the victim is always the male. While women happen to predominately be the victim in domestic violence circumstances, the statement does not hold true. “I was surprised to find out that about 835,000 men are physically assaulted or raped by their intimate partners each year…” (US News and World Report). Since society views men as dominant over women in a sense of strength, less cases of men in battered relationships are reported because of it being such a faux-pas. Society holds men back from reporting their domestic violence cases to the police; How can the male be seen as the protector of the family if he cannot protect himself from his partner’s physical abuse' Another common myth is that drugs and alcohol are the reasons people commit acts of violence on one another. Though some violence can be committed under the influence, its not an excuse nor usually the only time the abuser is vicious. Most victims blame alcohol and drugs for their abuse because they don’t want to admit to the abuse that happens when their abuser is sober as well. A popular of myth of domestic violence is that it does not happen often. This could not be farther from the truth. The statistic from earlier showed that one in four women, or twenty five percent of the female population, experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Another myth of battering in relationships is that it only happens in poor, urban areas which is false. The economic state the family is in does not determine if there is or is not domestic violence in the home. Domestic violence ranges in homes like mansions to shacks. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or where you live, it is happening everywhere and it could happen to you. Society can help reduce domestic violence by continuing to show it on the media about what it is and how to escape it. If society votes it is unhealthy and wrong, more people will comply that its not something they need to be in. If society continues to keep domestic violence a big topic, then it will be easier to see and help people stuck in these situations since the warning signs will be in the forefront of people’s minds. If teachers see children or coworkers see other employees come to work or school with bruises or other marks, it should be looked into, not overlooked, and society should push these ideas. I believe that domestic violence is too big of a deal not to be shown in the media more often. There are so many people in abusive relationships, and with most of them in denial, they need their friends and family to be able to help them to escape their abuser. People need to realize that love does not hurt, and that if they are receiving mental or physical pain from the one they love, then its just an unhealthy relationship. Someone who does love you and care about you would never put you through harm, whether they be under the influence of drugs or alcohol or blame it on the victim. Women with children should be even more coaxed out of an abusive relationship because according to statistics men who beat women may also beat the children. “A survey of 6,000 American families found that 50 percent of men who assault their wives, also abuse their children.” (ACADV.org). Even though some people blame the woman for putting and keeping herself in an abusive relationship, though it is not her fault, no one can blame the child for being born into a home with domestic violence. I think that teachers of younger children should keep their eyes open for students who have suspicious marks on them and take a look further into the family in case there is a case of domestic violence in the home, so it can be stopped. “A child's exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk fact for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.” (ACADV.org) In order to stop the cycle of abusive relationships, children have to learn from the beginning that abusing and being abused are both wrong and should not be tolerated. Battering in relationships has a direct correlation with homicides in the home. “On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.” (dvrc-or.org) Every day, four people are being murdered because of domestic violence. Domestic violence is a real crime that makes those who commit this crime serve a sentence, but still most domestic violence cases aren’t reported. Whether it be for reasons of battered males trying to be prideful, learned helplessness, or just the idea that maybe it will get better eventually, domestic violence needs to be reported. Police cannot save lives unless they are aware of what lives are in danger. Mental, emotional, and physical abuse counts as domestic violence, and domestic violence counts as a crime. Domestic violence is a large problem not just in the United States, but across the globe. Most of the problem comes from domestic violence cases not being reported. There are so many deaths and injuries due to domestic violence that could be so easily prevented if they were spoken up about. When you are in an abusive relationship or realize someone else is, someone should be notified to solve the issue. It is not worth the risk to stay in the relationship even if you believe you have love for them and things can change. There is such a pattern for things to not change in domestic violence cases that the life of yourself or a loved one should not be put at risk.