Domestic_Violence

There needs to be a greater effort to educate young adults and teens on the fallacies of domestic violence. At an early age young adults and teens will learn the harmful effects of domestic violence and the warning signs before they ever have to deal with domestic violence. What is domestic violence' Does economics play a role in who will face domestic violence' Is there a certain race or culture this type of relationship takes place in' There seems to be a gender bias towards young ladies that may experience the abuse in the relationship. There are steps that we can take to target our youth with information and support before the problems occur. Domestic violence is a form of control and manipulation used in a relationship to control the other person through fear and intimidation. Many young ladies are controlled and manipulated by there abusers though verbal attacks, Isolation, blaming and economic control. It is my understanding that this is the way the abuser establishes control, therefore creating isolation. This causes the victim to depend on the abuser which continues the cycle. Race has no bearing on who is affected by Domestic violence' There is no certain race that is effected more than the other in this crisis. Young women are between ninety to ninety-five percent most often the victims of Domestic violence. (Centers for Control and Prevention). (2006) There are no cultural or racial distinctions when it comes to Domestic violence. This silent terror is not just happening to women, however abuse is predominately effecting women and young girls. There was a survey done by five hundred young girls ages fifteen to twenty-four and sixty percent of these young girls ladies were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all had experienced violence in a dating relationship. (When Teen Dating Turns Violent). (2009) Forty percent of teenage girls say they know someone there age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. The rate of same sex relationships is at the same rate of abuse. There seems to be no difference. There is a much higher rate of abuse amongst girls than boys. The rate of abuse is ninety to ninety-five percent women. There is a ninety five percent rate of male perpetrators. Domestic violence is not normally seen by the victim as such. There tends to be a naivety amongst young ladies that the manipulation and control is a sign of deep affection or love. This is how the control and manipulation starts. There is usually not enough dating experience to see the dangers of manipulation and control, followed by the isolation and belittling of ones self esteem that emerges from such control. Does domestic violence stem from adult domestic violence' There are several forms of domestic violence. There are very clear warning signs that appear in these dating relationships. There may be a mental health aspect to the personalities that exhibit domestic violence. Children exposed to domestic violence most of the time repeat the patterns of abuse. There seems to be patterns of low self esteem and self worth. In lower income areas there is also the pattern of poverty. Men in poverty situations who are the providers for the relationship tend to have higher stress levels which create an environment that is at risk. Poor social skills are also a contributor for abusers. (Understanding Teen Fact Sheet).(2008). Although drugs and alcohol contribute to the abusive behaviors they are not the reasons for the behaviors. There are no studies that side with the abusers drug and alcohol consumption as an excuse for being abusive. The forms of abuse that are most common are verbal and non verbal abuse. The abuser does not start off this way but in one way or another is belittling and yelling at the victim. This escalates to pushing and shoving, from this behavior the abuse further escalates. The victim may be put in a physical violent position. Some of the forms of physical abuse may include and are not limited to pinching, slapping, punching and kicking. The other type of abuse is sexual abuse. Between ten and twenty-five percent of girls ages fifteen to twenty-five were in a dating relationship in more than half of these cases and knew her attacker. (PIPPAH). (Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt) Some of the dating violent warning signs are: Physical signs of injury, truancy, dropping out of school, failing grades, indecision, changes in moods or personality, use of drugs and or alcohol, pregnancy, emotional outbursts, and isolation. (Delaware Coalition against Domestic Violence Newsletter, winter 1999) There are also cycles of abuse that take place. The first cycle of abuse is where the abuser lashes out with aggressive and violent behavior. The next step of abuse is where the abuser makes his victim feel guilty. The next step is where the abuser uses excuses to rationalize what happened. There is a period of normal behaviors all apart of the plan to gain control. The next step is the fantasy where there are thoughts and justifications being made to abuse the victim again. The set up is the last step in the cycle. The set up is created for the sole purpose of making the abuse the victims fault. This behavior creates the reasoning needed to repeat the violence. (Mid Valley Women’s Crisis Service) Jeanne Segal, PhD., (2008). Modified What are the types of support available for young men and women going through this type of relationship' There is council available through schools and churches. Non profit organizations offer support as well. In many schools there are peer groups and counselors available to support. You need help if you feel threatened, Afraid, avoid certain topics for fear of angering your partner, you can not do anything right for your partner, you think that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated, wonder if you are the one who is crazy and feel emotionally numb or helpless' In any case of violence you should begin preparing for the moment of escape. There needs to be someone you can confide in. Seek help from a teacher, school officer, someone in your family or call 911 for any type of emergency or threat of violence that may occur. There are shelters and safe places to get away from the violence. There are hotlines such as RAINN that are available twenty-four hours a day. There are several web sites that introduce the idea to young girls and boys through parental groups and interventions. Parents need to be educated about the dangers of youth domestic violence and what to look for. If your abuser is talking about murder or suicide you are in extra danger. The national domestic violence hotlines can help you devise a plan to escape the violence and danger. In order to protect yourself you have to call for help. There are local laws and restraining orders you can put in place to insure your safety. When out of this situation there are areas of trauma that you will need to deal with. Fear of running into your abuser may be one of them. You should always carry a 911 ready phone in the event you are face to face with your abuser. If you are in the same area you should plan different routes coming and going home. There will need to be changes made to your banking and banking and mail deliveries. I had not thought about the trace that could be done with a simple cell phone record to all the numbers you may have been calling for help. It would be wise not to use your cell phone. The numbers will appear on the statement that your abuser will receive even if you have moved out. In conclusion I have learned so much about domestic violence. There are many myths about domestic violence. Youth domestic violence is as big as adult domestic violence. The signs are the same along with its damaging affects. I had a hard time imagining a young person dealing with this issue until I met a young lady who was twenty and told me of her abusive relationship. . This young lady told me about the shame and humiliation she felt. My response was, “Why did you stay with him'” I know understand the reasons the victim stays in the relationship. It is my opinion that there person is broken down to believe they are worthless. The victim believes they will never have someone like them. The abuser will physically harm them. The abuser has created a real fear of harm and danger. The abusers plan through great effort to convince the victim of his love and desire never to hurt again is calm. During this time trust is being established. The period however long it is will be short lived and the cycle of abuse will repeat itself. The myth that this is a racial or economical issue is false as well. All types of women and men hydro and homosexual relationships are affected by the need to control and manipulate. I did not even research the affect that computer and cell phone abuse plays into this essay.