Divorce_Harms_Children

Divorce Harms Children Table of Contents: Further Readings From "The Case Against Divorce," Washington Monthly, January/February 1997. Reprinted with permission from the Washington Monthly. Copyright by The Washington Monthly Company, 1611 Connecticut Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20009, (202) 462-0128. In the following viewpoint, Steven Waldman maintains that many children are severely harmed when their parents divorce. He contends that divorce negatively affects how children perform in school and how well they will do as adults in the workplace and in relationships. Waldman advocates making divorce more difficult for couples with children to obtain and bringing back the concept that divorce is shameful and undesirable. Waldman is a contributing editor for the Washington Monthly, a journal of social and political commentary. As you read, consider the following questions: 1. What proportion of marriages end in divorce, according to the author' 2. What are the three reasons given by the author for why there is little debate about divorce' 3. Who does Waldman believe should be praised for getting divorced' When politicians debate the causes of the family breakup in the inner city, they never mention this statistical couplet: While the rate of out-of-wedlock births nearly doubled in the 1980s, the rate of divorce nearly doubled in the 1970s. I can't prove that the liberalization of divorce laws caused the surge of illegitimacy among the poor, but clearly it was the middle class that led the assault on the "sanctity" of marriage. It's hard to think of a social phenomenon more harmful, and less discussed, than divorce. More than half of marriages end in divorce, and a mountain of psychological research shows that divorce injures women especially financially and children psychologically. Many argue that divorce cannot be as bad for kids as living in a home with parents who hate each other, but Bill Galston of the Progressive Policy Institute recently summarized the social science literature on this question: "Divorce itself [as opposed to the bad relationship] has an independent negative effect on the well-being of minor children ... in areas such as the following: school performance, high school completion, college attendance and graduation, labor-force attachment and stable work patterns, crime, depression, psychological illness, suicide, out-of-wedlock birth, and the propensity of children of divorce to become divorced in turn." We think of welfare kids as uniquely estranged from their fathers, but 40 percent of children of divorce have not seen their dad in the past year. Too Close for Comfort Yet politicians hardly ever talk about divorce. Why' In part it's because they understand the subject too well. Politicians ranging from Ronald Reagan to Ted Kennedy—as well as journalists like Peter Jennings and Sam Donaldson—have been through it themselves. Those of us who haven't know someone who has. We understand the tragic circumstances that can lead to the breakup of a marriage. In other words, we are far less likely to be judgmental about divorce than about, say, teenage pregnancy, a subject that, for most of us, is entirely abstract. Another reason there is so little debate is that the rise of divorce was, in part, a response to a very real problem. Before the 1960s, women had trouble escaping from constraining or abusive marriages. Countless millions were subjected to lives of misery because they couldn't or wouldn't get out of horrible marriages. No one wants to go back to the old days, and criticism of divorce should not be viewed as a fundamental attack on feminism or women's rights. But feminists need to concede that the current situation is unacceptable, too. Finally, this problem is ignored because the solutions aren't obvious. Galston proposes that we should beef up child-support enforcement to at least reduce the financial disruption. Some evidence suggests that fathers forced into making financial contributions tend to demand more of a relationship with their children. Galston also argues that divorce laws should err on the side of keeping minor children in their pre-divorce residences and communities. The key is to draw a much clearer distinction between divorces that involve kids and those that don't. In fact, divorce among childless adults should be even easier, to reduce the odds of a baby being born into a disintegrating family. But divorce among couples with children should be harder. Too often, parents fail to look beyond their selfish needs; they should have to prove that separation is good not only for the adults but for the kids. Perhaps waiting periods or counseling requirements would mitigate the damage to children. Bringing Back the Stigma Most importantly, society has to offer clearer messages about what is shameful and what isn't. Casual divorce should be disparaged as much as casual sex. Pundits who reminisce about restoring the stigma to out-of-wedlock births might remember that divorce used to be considered dishonorable too. (In a Newsweek piece on this subject, Bill Turque recalls the 1952 Look magazine article about Adlai Stevenson: "Can a Divorced Man be Elected President'") If Bill Clinton screwing around on his wife was a legitimate character issue, then so too was Reagan's divorce from Jane Wyman after they'd had children. At the same time, we should heap praise on couples that split up without having kids; by going through a small ordeal now, they've prevented a much greater future tragedy. Conversely, some parents who stay together for the kids' sake should be considered heroes. The message should be everywhere—on TV shows, in the psychologist's office, and at the holiday dinner table—that while it often takes "strength" to leave a bad marriage, it takes courage and maturity to put the happiness of your children before your own. To be sure, there are some times when divorce really is best for the kids. And it's very hard for any individual, let alone a lawmaker, to make sweeping conclusions about someone else's marriage. But at least a public debate about divorce might guilt trip some parents into putting the needs of their kids first. FURTHER READINGS Books * Loren Acker, Bram Goldwater, and William Dyson. AIDS-Proofing Your Kids: A Step by Step Guide. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing, 1992. * Constance R. Ahrons. The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart. New York: HarperCollins, 1994. * Elizabeth Bartholet. Family Bonds: Adoption and the Politics of Parenting. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1994. * Jerome Beker and Douglas Magnuson, eds. Residential Education as an Option for At-Risk Youth. Binghamton, NY: Haworth Press, 1996. * Mary Frances Berry. The Politics of Parenthood: Child Care, Women's Rights, and the Myth of the Good Mother. New York: Viking Press, 1993. * Douglas J. Besharov. When Drug Addicts Have Children: Reorienting Child Welfare's Response. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, 1994. * Jan Blacher, ed. When There's No Place Like Home: Options for Children Living Apart from Their Natural Families. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing, 1994. * David Blankenhorn. Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. New York: BasicBooks, 1995. * Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, and Steve Van Bockern. Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future. Bloomington, IN: National Educational Service, 1993. * Margaret Brodkin and Coleman Advocates for Children and Youth. Every Kid Counts: Thirty-One Ways to Save Our Children. San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1993. * Robin Brown. Children in Crisis. New York: H.W. Wilson, 1994. * Katherine Cahn and Paul Johnson, eds. Children Can't Wait: Reducing Delays for Children in Foster Care. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, 1993. * Robert B. Cairns and Beverly D. Cairns. Lifelines and Risks: Pathways of Youth in Our Time. New York: Cambridge University Press, 1995. * Judith A. Chafel. Child Poverty and Public Policy. Lanham, MD: Urban Institute Press, 1993. * Colette Chiland and Gerald Young, eds. Children and Violence. Northvale, NJ: Jason J. Aronson, 1994. * Children's Defense Fund. Wasting America's Future: The Children's Defense Fund Report on the Costs of Child Poverty. Boston: Beacon Press, 1994. * Child Welfare League of America. Homelessness: The Impact on Child Welfare in the '90s. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, 1991. * Hillary Rodham Clinton. It Takes a Village. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996. * William Damon. Greater Expectations: Overcoming the Culture of Indulgence in America's Homes and Schools. New York: Free Press, 1995. * Marilyn Davenport, Patricia Gordy, and Nancy Miranda. Children of Divorce. Milwaukee: Families International, 1993. * Madelyn DeWoody. Health Care Reform and Child Welfare: Meeting the Needs of Abused and Neglected Children. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, 1994. * James Dobson and Gary Bauer. Children at Risk: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Our Kids. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale Press, 1994. * Marian Wright Edelman. Guide My Feet: Prayers and Meditations on Loving and Working for Children. Boston: Beacon Press, 1995. * James Garbarino et al. Children in Danger: Coping with the Consequences of Community Violence. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1997. * Irwin Garfinkel, Sara S. McLanahan, and Philip K. Robins, eds. Child Support and Child Well-Being. Washington, DC: Urban Institute Press, 1995. * Joy Maugans Garland. America's Throwaway Children: The Foster Care Dilemma. Charlotte, NC: John Russell Publishing, 1990. * Susan Goodwillie, ed. Voices from the Future: Children Speak Out About Violence in America. New York: Crown Publishers, 1993. * James P. Grant. The State of the World's Children. New York: Oxford University Press, 1993. * Judith M. Gueron and Edward S. Pauly. From Welfare to Work. New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 1991. * David A. Hamburg. Today's Children: Creating a Future for a Generation in Crisis. New York: Random House, 1994. * Irving B. Harris. Children in Jeopardy: Can We Break the Cycle of Poverty' New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1996. * Robert H. Haveman and Barbara L. Wolfe. Succeeding Generations: On the Effects of Investments in Children. New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 1994. * Donald J. Hernandez. America's Children: Resources from Family, Government, and the Economy. New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 1993. * Barbara Barrett Hicks. Kids, Crack, and the Community: Reclaiming Drug-Exposed Infants and Children. Bloomington, IN: National Educational Service, 1993. * Sheila B. Kamerman and Alfred J. Kahn. Starting Right: How America Neglects Its Youngest Children and What We Can Do About It. New York: Oxford University Press, 1995. * Jonathan Kozol. Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation. New York: Crown Publishers, 1996. * Penelope Leach. Children First: What Our Society Must Do—and Is Not Doing—for Our Children Today. New York: Knopf, 1996. * Richard Louv. Childhood's Future. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. * Mary Briody Mahowald. Women and Children in Health Care: An Unequal Majority. New York: Oxford University Press, 1993. * Rebecca A. Maynard, ed. Kids Having Kids: Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy. Washington, DC: Urban Institute Press, 1996. * Richard McKenzie. The Home: A Memoir of Growing Up in an Orphanage. New York: BasicBooks, 1996. * Marc Parent. Turning Stones: My Days and Nights with Children at Risk. New York: Harcourt Brace, 1996. * Nigel Parton. Governing the Family: Child Care, Child Protection, and the State. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1991. * Barbara A. Pine, Robin Warsh, and Anthony Maluccio, eds. Together Again: Family Reunification in Foster Care. Washington, DC: Child Welfare League of America, 1993. * Valerie Polakow. The Erosion of Childhood. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1992. * Valerie Polakow. Lives on the Edge: Single Mothers and Their Children in the Other America. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1993. * David Popenoe. Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society. New York: Free Press, 1996. * Dona Schneider. American Childhood: Risks and Realities. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 1995. * Richard Weissbourd. The Vulnerable Child: What Really Hurts America's Children and What We Can Do About It. Reading, MA: Addison Wesley, 1996. * Edward Zigler and Susan Muenchow. Head Start: The Inside Story of America's Most Successful Educational Experiment. New York: BasicBooks, 1992. Periodicals * Joseph Adelson. "Splitting Up," Commentary, September 1996. * Peter Applebome. "Study Says Society Fails 19 Million Youths," New York Times, October 12, 1995. * Keith Bradsher. "Poor Children in U.S. Are Among Worst Off in Study of Eighteen Industrialized Countries,"New York Times, August 14, 1995. * Susan Chira. "Study Confirms Worst Fears on U.S. Children," New York Times, April 12, 1994. * Nancy Dreger. "Divorce and the American Family," Current Health 2, November 1996. * Gus Hall. "Capitalism Kills: Profit and Greed Rob Our Children of Their Future," People's Weekly World, June 1, 1996. Available from 235 W. 23rd St., New York, NY 10011. * Bill Keller. "As Civil Wars Rage, Children Are Prized for Cannon Fodder," New York Times, November 9, 1994. * Michael A. Males. "The Truth About Crime," Los Angeles Times, September 15, 1996. Available from Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053. * David Sheff. "If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Dad's House," New York Times Magazine, March 26, 1995. * Lynn Smith. "What's the Matter with Kids Today' Their Parents," Los Angeles Times, May 19, 1996. * Margery Stein. "New Creed for Families: I'm Okay, You're Okay," Insight, August 8, 1994. Available from 3600 New York Ave. NE, Washington, DC 20002. * John Taylor and Maureen Sherwood. "Divorce Is Good for You/No, It's Not," Esquire, May 1997. * Chris Tilly and Randy Albelda. "It's Not Working: Why Many Single Mothers Can't Work Their Way out of Poverty," Dollars and Sense, November/December 1994. * James L. Wilks. "Fathers Have Rights, Too," Essence, June 1995. Source Citation: Waldman, Steven. "Divorce Harms Children." Opposing Viewpoints: Child Welfare. Ed. Carol Wekesser. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1998. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. Apollo Library. 13 Dec. 2009 . * How to Cite Gale Document Number: EJ3010116214