Defining_Leaderhip_Style

Colleagues and friends tend to refer to me as a “people person”, “down to earth” and enthusiastic. I like to think I am empathetic, responsible and kind. How do I lead seemed like an innocent enough question, and the logical side of me wants to answer it with a very simplistic answer, it depends on the situation. When we were tasked with investigating our Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I became apprehensive, slightly fearful, what if I am wrong about who I think I am and how I lead' I instantly started to reflect on past work experiences, personal relationships and life events. In high school, I entered a vocational program to get out of classes early. I knew nothing about business but I knew that being in customer service felt good to me. I quickly developed a good follower mentality, “lead, follow or get out the way.” I eagerly did was I was told, not saying much and worked very hard. Internally hoping someone would ultimately notice how good I was and promote me solely based on hard work. After high school, I decided to keep working and attend school part time. I began an Associate’s degree in Nursing. Again, striving to be the perfect student, secretly hoping I would get recognized for all the effort and achievements I put in day after day. During the course of the program, I decided to get a job as a medical assistant. I was the model caregiver, full of energy and empathy. Always doing what I was told with a smile on my face noticing that resentment was starting to build because co-workers were getting accolades and I was being overlooked. I thought the answer was to be persistent and my mouth shut and I would soon get my reward. It wasn’t until my supervisor asked me one day to drop what I was doing and drive to another location that was 40 miles away to help out. Something snapped inside me, a raging, “No!” came from my lips, while thinking, “I am going to get fired.” To my surprise, she said okay with a disappointed look and walked away. That was a pivotal moment for me. I realized if I was to be respected and taken seriously in my career, I had to be the one to set the boundaries of what was acceptable behavior and what was not. I felt so empowered that day. Shortly after that, I changed fields from nursing to Information Technology. As a newbie in IT, I started out on a helpdesk for a telecommunications company. I knew nothing. I focused on fostering relationships with the technical people. At first, I noticed they did not want to offer any knowledge but I did not let this intimidate me. I kept showing up day after day with legitimate questions, coercing them to oblige any way I could. I noticed my natural ability to chat about life, engage them in talking about their lives and what inspires them became much more appealing than the technical talk. Yes, that was always addressed but getting to know each person on the team gave me a sense of purpose a reason to pay closer attention. I quickly became team lead for a group of twenty. I had a good mix of folks, ranging in age from 20-50 and the majority was male. Without having any formal education on learning styles or personality traits, I rapidly attuned myself to the characteristics of my team members. I noticed what it took to influence the slackers, the intellects and overachievers. To encourage my slackers, charm was my first approach. The conversation usually started with, “Hey how was your weekend' Where did you go' What did you do' Oh, yeah, I have been there, done that. What was your favorite part' Why' Great, great, glad to hear you are having fun. Oh. By the way, I am kind of slammed today; do you think you could help me with xyz' I would really appreciate it. We should go out next week after work. Keep me posted.” For my intellects, the challenge was making them feel understood. It has been my experience that most intellectual types are intimated by an outgoing, smiling face like me. I would tune my energy down a notch, approach with a semi-smile, gentle tone and quietly ask if they had a few minutes for me to talk. Another thing I noticed was to never interrupt a logical thinker abruptly. The consequences of the verbal backlash can be detrimental to the flow of the workday. Those conversations were like this, “Excuse me.” In a soft voice, stand still, mouth shut until physical presence was acknowledged. Then respond directly to the point, no asking how they are, what’s going on, etc. “I have this problem and wanted your input on the answer.” then wait for the typical response, which was one of two, “I cannot think about that right now, I am in the middle of this issue, I cannot possibly do two things at once. Check back later.” or “The answer is obviously this.” with a sarcastic, dismissive attitude. Those interactions helped me learn not to take things personally. The beloved overachievers had a place in my own heart. I could relate to them the best. Work hard and you will be rewarded in more ways you could imagine. The internal dialogue was something like, “If I am the perfect employee, then they cannot judge me and they have to promote me.” I always had to find busywork to keep my overachievers content. I would have them brainstorm projects, gather quotes and investigate products. They would come back to me with excitement with their well thought out agendas. I soon found out that overachievers did not respond well to criticism, myself included. Through many trials, tribulations and office politics, I realized the value in feedback and constructive criticism. First of all there is no such thing as a perfect person and secondly, one cannot grow personally or professionally if they are not open to feedback. To this day, I still struggle with feedback personally and professionally. The truth hurts and I am my own worst critic. For me, I always try to treat others like I want to be treated. In the case of providing constructive feedback, I used to think the best approach was to say it how would want to hear it but that is not necessarily true. I have to first think about my audience and what the best approach would be then act accordingly. I developed my own style which includes these components: 1. Gauge how the person or group is feeling in that moment and adjust. 2. Present the problem. 3. Present the solution. 4. Engage everyone to respond with their thoughts, feelings and ideas. 5. Decide as a group, on the solution. 6. If the group cannot decide, then assert a leadership position and decide. I have found that at the end of a work project or personal interaction all that really matters most is that a person is heard. I mean really understood and feels that their point of view was honored and considered before the final answer was declared. I wholeheartedly embrace my MBTI type of ENFP, extraverted, intuitive, feeling and perceiving. I do enjoy interacting with people, not to fix or control but to find out what makes them tick. Why is my favorite question. I am constantly seeking another version of the story, of the approach. How did it all happen' Why that decision' What is the feeling now' What’s next' Why' It is curiosity for curiosity’s sake. I get exhilarated by the situation, the story. The answer will always present itself if one is patient enough to listen. It is the constant quest for another discovery, what works and what doesn’t. I lead by being open to others, active listening and being supportive no matter what. I observe, think and feel before I speak. I keep my word and value I can be trusted. I love personal interactions and exploration of it all! I relish knowing the background of one’s personal experience because that could lead to a great breakthrough personally or professionally. I accept being a “people person” and I take pride in my daily effort to lead by example. What I know for sure is that the ability to adapt and to earn the respect for oneself and others is the ultimate goal of a good leader. Adaptability and respect is what motivate me every day of my life, good leader or not.