Contemporary_Search_for_Love

Sociology T1 2010 - Final Project ------------------------------------------------- Professor. S. Losa ------------------------------------------------- Hyung Suk Lee | 568717912 As a student at the Ecole hôtelière de Lausanne, I uphold and defend academic integrity, academic rigour and academic liberty as core values of higher learning. I attest, on my word of honour, that work submitted in my name is my own work, and that any ideas or materials used in support of this work which are not originally my own are cited and referenced accordingly. How is the contemporary search for love linked to wider changes in society' It is interesting for us to view the modern day concept of love from a sociological point of view, ever since humanity’s conception of love, the “search for love” has been affected by its society and its sociological surroundings and concepts. This is true to the extent that the society that we live in creates or shapes the way we think about life and how we should live it. This in itself therefore creates the rules to how one should approach the search for love. We have seen cases over history where the notion of love has changed due to society’s norms and obligations. To define our research issue, first, are the changes in society over centuries that have changed people’s perception of love and what one expects from the “search for love”. From this, we deduce the notion that, current society has geared the contemporary love search to a search for “high specs” between potential partners. From love stories of Cleopatra to Romeo & Juliet and to Princess Diana, (Appendix 2) in human history, there exists some similarities but stark differences in the mindsets of love even in those social eras at the time. At first there was love that was usually for a greater good, for power and for social gain. In times when it was impossible to climb the social ladder, barriers existed to limit such love affairs; still this was one solution to escape one’s misery. Moving to the middle ages and the Renaissance, there was a more “purer” form of love, especially love that was in a “fighting” or rebelling against a stronger force in societal norms etc. This was reflecting the times of change in history. During the Industrial Revolution, when there was more emphasis on childbearing rather than love, when the reason to love someone was because one had to fill his or her own duties as a citizen or a wife. Anything outside this norm of marriage-geared love was adulterous and unacceptable. Today, we are faced with issues that directly affect our search for true love or search for any love at all. Issues of divorce, justifications of marriage, these all perhaps pertain to the sudden rise of equality in sexuality; where before the male was the dominant sex, and the female simply relinquished to childbearing and often abused for this role. After the introduction of modern medical technology and contraceptive methods, more emphasis was given on equality of the sexes. “Women no longer go along with male sexual dominance…Personal life has become an open project, creating new demands and anxieties” (Giddens, 1992). Many aspects of our society has called for equality especially amongst the two sexes, and in turn gave women more “choice” rather than being “sold off” to a suitor as in Elizabethan times. This sheer social status change in women in our society has triggered much of the different love scene that we are faced with today. Aforementioned, was the word “high specs”, which means good “specifications” or well off in all areas a man should or ought to be. These can include, his height, good looks, education, family inheritance, parents’ jobs, job title and yearly income. Women and men are now looking for these “high specs” when they are choosing their partners. The emancipation of the female sex, or more sociologically, the change of the role women play in society has significantly changed the way modern day people search for love. There has been a lot of change of perception towards marriage itself. Previously, marriage, sex and love where all co-existent words that held the values of family, where now the three have taken on separate functions. “People are ‘trapped’ into marriage,…a shameful settling down” (Swidler, 1980). Swidler talks about the modern day American relationships being about “what one gets out of it”. As one weighs the pros and cons of being in this relationship, the whole dating scene has changed character. “The partners in a relationship remain autonomous and separate. Each concerned what he will have gained, what he will takeaway, when the relationship is over” states Swidler, mentioning that “while one marries for love, marrying commits one to a life of serving others – one’s spouse and especially one’s children”. This perhaps is the fundamental reasoning behind the modern day change in perceiving love. It seems that there is so much more at stake in love than one’s own feelings and heartbreaks. Together with the separation of love and marriage, love is now enjoyment, the entertainment, whilst marriage something of an investment that one has to settle down with. This very change of concept and perception of love has been brought about by the change of expectations of society. In a TV show in Korea, the “specs” of men were of high importance to potential female daters. (Appendix 2), and different criteria for lovers were shown by nationalities of women, (Appendix 3) but there was some coherence, that many people were looking at their potential spouse’s bank balance first, this occurrence is clear that some sociological factors are in effect, such as female economic independence, sexual equality, change of marital values and a simple change of times. Society no longer wishes for arranged marriages, forced marriages nor “its time to marry” marriages. Each and everyone’s wish to fulfill their own pursuits and goals in life is more important than love. When marriage and love becomes a burden, the best option is to take the course that will yield the most benefit. This trait is perhaps typical of the Generation Y, who wishes a better work / life balance and yearn a more achievement-orientated lifestyle. (Coates, 2007) These “wider changes” in society fueled the change of search for love in contemporary times. We no longer have love that is purely courted, there seldom exists love that is forbidden anymore, and love of today has changed shape into specifications and ratings. Where everyone has virtual curriculum vitae for a “love” search. Overall, the different concepts of love that have changed over the course of history, from antiquity to courtly love of 12-13th century Europe, to bourgeois love that followed in late 19th and early 20th centuries, have given away to the current egalitarian form of love that exists today. Possibly to conclude that the inevitable changes of society, in terms of what the society has demanded; eventually has brought the contemporary search for love to its current form of perhaps love based on materialism. However, some limitations remain that not all surveys and interviews speak for all, as although society may seem to ask for the status quo to be, not everyone is, as there are still those who are looking for a more “traditional” search for love. Appendices Appendix 1 Historically, we have heard of many different famous love stories, be it real life or fictional, most love stories touch upon their historical backgrounds and relate to their historical context. This is shown in the behaviour of the protagonists or usually in the endings of the stories. If we go back into antiquity, one of the most famous love stories or romantic encounters was between Mark Antony (Marcus Antonius) and Cleopatra. Although a romance over borders and between people of great power, there was still a passionate love that was evident, according to Plutarch, who records this in Life of Antonius, how Cleopatra had betrayed Antony and how he tried to kill himself when he founds out that she was dead. Love in ancient times were more about deceit and love for power and allegiances, especially in Rome, where much marriages were already pre-ordained, this kind of romance was probably highly resonant of the times of antiquity. The famous story of Romeo and Juliet as written by William Shakespeare, tells a story of again, ill-fated romance that bases its story on family feud and differences. Although one might think that love wins, it is in fact the family values and traditions that conquered the two. Closer to our times, the story of Princess Diana, at first a fairy-tale story, became a nightmare when modern day aspects came into play within the “lived happily ever after” storyline of princes and princesses. Divorce became a more common occurrence nowadays. Appendix 2 In a recently aired Korean TV show named “It’s Raining Men”, the hosts, after a female client’s request to find a suitable male partner, hunt the streets of Seoul to find a target that matches their client’s “specifications”. Number one on the list was a “well-off, well-paid job”, geared towards doctors, lawyers and financial analysts. This was followed by height and body figure, which meant that women were looking for men who were not just good looking but who took care of their fashion style and their body. The last criterion was what car her potential mate was driving. Although this is an extreme example as to what “love search” has become in certain areas of the media, it is a stinging reminder that we no longer live in a society that contents itself with just having “love by itself”. Appendix 3 In many different matchmaking sites in Korea, such as Daks, the women who were surveyed confessed that although they could give up on good looks (49%) and education level (26%), on financial assets and job criteria, they could not yield when it came to choosing their future husbands. (MyDaily, 2009) On a comparing note, a survey conducted by a Japanese advertising agency, Dentsu, Japanese women seemed to take “trust”, “similar values” and “psychological well-being” over height (11%), high salary (15%), high education level (5%). A survey conducted by UKdating.com revealed that the majority of the women wanted a man taller than 178cm, a university education and 28% said they do not care how much the man earns. References Barret-Ducrocq, F. (1991), Love in time of Victoria : sexuality, class and gender in nineteenth century London, translated by John Howe from L’amour sous Victoria, Bookcraft, London Giddens, A (1992) The Transformation of Intimacy : sexuality, love & eroticism in modern societies, Stanford University Press, Stanford Swidler, A in Smelser, N. J., Erikson, E. H., (1980) “Six – Love and Adulthood in American Culture”, Themes of work and love in adulthood – Harvard Paperback Series, Harvard University Press, Boston MyDaily (Nov 2010), The Conditions of Marriage, Japanese Women – Psychological, Korean Women – Materialistic', Retrieved from http://www.mydaily.co.kr/news/read.html'newsid=201011041006195582. Herald Sun (Jan 2008), “Survey finds what women really want in Mr Right”, Retrieved from http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/what-women-really-want/story-e6frf7lf-1111115342066 M.Net, VJ M’s Daily News, “Its Raining Men”, Retrieved from a blog entry in naver.com http://blog.naver.com/PostView.nhn'blogId=mnetstory&logNo=90064599908&redirect=Dlog&widgetTypeCall=true Hwang, J., Power, J., (2010, Oct), “Single nation: What women want”, The Korea Herald, Retrieved from http://www.koreaherald.com/national/Detail.jsp'newsMLId=20101006000735 Coates, J. (2007) “Generation Y – The Millennial Generation”, Generational Learning Styles, LERN Books a division of Learning Resources Network