Compare_and_Contrast_Two_Theories_Models_of_Relationships_and_Show_How_They_Might_Be_Utilised_by_a_Therapist_Who_Is_Engaged_in_Couples_Counselling.

This essay has 2513 words Compare and contrast two theories/models of relationships and show how they might be utilised by a therapist who is engaged in couples counselling. Every human being experiences different relationships throughout their lives whether it is with their parents, siblings, external family at the start of their life or with friends through adolescence and even going into adulthood with their partner and then possibly their own children. For an individual to have any type of relationship they need to have some sort of bond. Issues can arise between individuals for many different reasons as their personalities develop and mature. ------------------------------------------------- Firstly i have chosen to discuss the attachment theory. John Bowlby was the original founder on this theory; it originated in 1930’s whilst he was working in the Child Guidance Clinic as a psychiatrist. He was able to observe disturbed children during his time here which propelled him to see the importance of a child’s relationship to a caregiver specifically their mother. The main focus of his observation was aimed at the child’s social, emotional and cognitive development. What Bowlby perceived during this time gave him the ability to link separation during infancy between the child and their mother and later neurosis. (1958) attachment is defined as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings” by Bowlby(1969) ------------------------------------------------- According to Dollard and Miller (1950) attachment is seen as learned behaviour (the behaviourist approach to attachment) and the infant would be more attached to the care giver who provides food, as survival is the strongest instinct a human being has. As the infant develops the satisfaction of being fed is associated with comfort. This stage of a child’s life can be associated with classical conditioning. While the infant gains knowledge of its environment they begin to be aware of behaviours that will fulfil their needs for example the have the innate ability to cry, which through time the begin to realise they gain attention and their needs are met. This can be associated with operant conditioning as the infant repeats the behaviour for the desired response. ------------------------------------------------- Bowlby, Harlow and Lorenz established the evolutionary theory of attachment believe that infants have infants are born with the instant ability to form attachment for survival. These psychologists believe that the infant uses their innate abilities for care and response not food. Their studies showed that attachment as a child acted as blueprint for relationships as an adult so any disruption could have a detrimental effect. The studies also showed that attachment was developed over the first five years of an infant’s life. When attachment is not secured during this period the effect on the development of the infant is severe, possibly developing behavioural issues and decreasing their abilities. ------------------------------------------------- Harry Harlow conducted numerous experiments on attachment using monkeys during the 1950’s. Harlow and Zimmerman (1958) contradicted the behaviourist approach to attachment where food is the primary reinforcer and the care giver is the secondary reinforcer with the Rhesus Monkey experiment. His findings showed that attachment with the monkeys was developed in the first year of their lives. ------------------------------------------------- The monkeys were observed in two different environments, the first being infant monkeys reared in isolation. The monkeys that were placed in this situation had detrimental effects as some died and the ones that survived suffered from abnormal behaviour that continued throughout their life making it hard to relate to other monkeys. The second group were placed with surrogate mothers; either a bare wire mother of wire mother covered with terry towelling, a feeding bottle was attached to the bare wire mother. The monkeys that were placed in this environment spent more time with the terry towelling mother and only went to the bare wire mother when they were hungry, when they had finishing feeding they would return to the terry towelling mother. During the experiment frightening objects were placed in the cage, the infant monkey would seek comfort form the terry towelling mother. Harlow removed the terry towelling mother on occasions and the infant monkey would start to explore. The findings back the Evolutionary theory of attachment as it is the security and comfort the monkey wanted from the caregiver and is a contrast to the behaviourist approach as the caregiver that was providing food was not the one they were severely attached to. ------------------------------------------------- Harlow concluded that the monkeys needed something that they were able to cling to during the critical period for them to have a sense of security and develop normally. Clinging is an innate response to fear and the monkey would return to the source of comfort in times of stress. His finding showed that it was social deprivation – a lack of interaction rather than maternal deprivation that had severe effect on the monkeys. He furthered his experiment by placing infant monkeys in isolation but this time giving them social interaction with three other monkeys in a play room for twenty minutes each day. His findings showed that these infants grew to be emotionally and socially stable. ------------------------------------------------- Mary Ainsworth is known for her research and studies of attachment. Due to the sensitive nature of research and studies Ainsworth created a method she called the Strange Situation Classification. ------------------------------------------------- Ainsworth and Bell conducted a study on infants between the age of one and two called the strange situation (1970). They conducted this experiment to identify different styles of attachments between infants and their mother. Ainsworths ‘experimental procedure’ was established to observe this attachment. The controlled environment was a small room with a one way glass so observation can take place. Ainsworth used 100 middle class American families and the children were aged between 12 and 18 months.(1970) ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Each observation included seven different events. Firstly the parent and the infant were alone in the room, after three minutes a stranger would enter the room and joins the parent. Three minutes later the parent would get a signal to leave the room, leaving the infant and stranger alone. The fourth stage would occur after three minutes and during this the parent would return and the stranger would leave. Again after three minutes the parent left the room leaving the infant alone. The sixth stage would occur after a further three minutes where the strange would return. The final stage would happen after three minutes, the infant would be reunited with their parent and the stranger would leave. The experiment had four main categories that were observed, the first being separation anxiety, this is where the infant shows distress when separated from the parent. Secondly the infants willingness to explore, this is where the infant shows their independence. Thirdly stranger anxiety, how the child reacts to the stranger. Finally reunion behaviour; how the infant responds to the parent on their return. Each category is measured on a scale of one to seven. (1970) ------------------------------------------------- Ainsworth recognised that there are three different attachment styles being; secure, insecure avoidant and insecure ambivalent, her results showed these styles originated from interactions from their mother. (1970) Main and Solomon furthered this study and added a forth attachment style they called disorganised. (1990) ------------------------------------------------- The first style Ainsworth identified was secure attachment. 70 per cent of the infants were characterised with this behaviour due to the fact that the infant would use the caregiver as their security blanket when the feel distressed. The care giver responds to the infants need adequately on their return, comforting the infant, letting them carry on with their exploration. The infant shows a preference to the care giver but also has a level of attachment to the stranger. (1970) ------------------------------------------------- The second style recognised by Ainsworth is insecure avoidant. 15% of the infants in the study fell in this category as they showed little or no distress when the parent left and hardly any response on their return. also while the infant is exploring their surroundings they don’t interact with the care giver showing a level of independence. The child responds to both the parent and care giver in the same manner. Mary suggests this is due to the caregiver discouraging crying and being insensitive and possibly pushing the infant to be independent resulting in the child being rebellious and having low self-esteem. ------------------------------------------------- Ainsworth’s final stage is known as insecure ambivalent/ resistant. Again 15% of the infant fell into this category. He infant is unable to use the care giver as their security blanket, and become clingy and dependant to the parent. They reject the attachment figure during exploration and are difficult to soothe. This behaviour is due to inconsistencies with the parent and the child ------------------------------------------------- Main and Solomon furthered this by adding the disorganised style. This is where the infant becomes detached form the situation and incoherent due to possible maltreatment and abuse from the caregiver and a lack of communication. Ainsworth and bell found that attachment was determined by the primary care giver and the way that they respond to the infant’s needs. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Secondly I have chosen to evaluate the Social penetration theory. Altman and Taylor (1973) created this theory to understand how two individuals become close. They theorised that an individual needs to open up through self-disclosure to become close, with some level of vulnerability. A deeper level of intimacy comes when two parties communicate on a variety of levels. They assumed that all relationships are systematic and flow throw four stages, being the orientation stage, the exploratory affective stage, the affective stage and the stable stage. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Self-disclosure is when an individual expresses their inner feelings, possibly from supressed memories (which can be related to the psychodynamic approach) or just their personal desires which may bring a renewed level of intimacy. This theory is widely known as the ‘Onion theory of personality’ as everyone’s personality is multi layered, with their outer layer exposed for everyone to view and a private layer deep inside. As a relationship grows we as human beings tend to naturally expose more thus peeling back layers. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- The first stage being the Orientation stage is where individuals start to get to know one another though small talk and general banter. This stage is socially desirable and seen to have appropriate behaviour. Secondly the exploratory stage is where the parties begin to open up and revel themselves by giving their opinion on a wide range of topics such as politics and history. They themselves may not be ready to expose personal issues as they are not comfortable and are still taking their time to know the other party. Thirdly the Affective Stage is where they are prepared to expose more personal issues and feelings. During this stage arguments may develop as they become more involved and physical contact is more likely perhaps hugging and kissing. The fourth stage known as the stable stage is where the individual’s deepest thoughts and feelings are exposed and between both parties a mutual understanding develops and their beliefs and values hold the same characteristics. During this stage one party may be able to anticipate the others feelings and reaction to an issue. There is also another stage within this theory called the depenetration stage this can occur at any point as the relationship dissolves due to the cost overwhelming the reward but not all relationships go through this stage. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- To me this theory is based widely on communication as it mentions the depth and breadth of topics. As the relationship develops and layers are passed a greater level of intimacy is reach. Breadth is termed as being segments of the individuals life, possibly family, relationships or even their personal achievements, each segment may be discussed at different times to different extent. The individual themselves may choose to expose more about one than the other possibly due to physical or mental hurt such s abuse or neglect. Altman and Taylor believed ‘genuine intimacy’ occurs when all areas are fully disclosed. ------------------------------------------------- Depth is defined as ‘the degree in which someone is intimate with someone else’. When intimacy is mentioned humans tend to relate this to sexual activity, but this theory expresses it on how open an individual is to one another, despite the fear of self-disclosure. Depth area of this theory is where trust is built giving the individual the ability to uncover their deepest issues rather than just the superficial ones. This can occur in a range of relationships not only a sexually intimate relationship but even friendship or a family relationship. ------------------------------------------------- A relationship can occur with either depth or breath alone for instance a conversation where an acquaintance is acknowledged by saying ‘HI’ this is a breadth relationship. A one night stand with an unknown party is a depth relationship. To have a relationship that involves both the individual has to be aware how they come across to someone and be socially available; this is done by self-disclosure. ------------------------------------------------- They also theorised that all relationships have a cost/reward element and that all human beings weigh up each relationship on this basis, without even knowing it. According to Altman and Taylor ‘Relationships are sustained when the outcome is positive and discontinue when they are relatively costly’. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Both the attachment theory and the social penetration theory are formed by the use of observations and experiments. The main contrast between these theories is that in the attachment theory the main view point was on both animals and infants until the age of two whereas the social penetration theory is focused on the current individual and how they develop within the relationship. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- The relationship Issue I have chosen to associate with these theories through couples counselling is that of Aggression within a relationship. In my opinion anger can be seen as self-defeating behaviour, which can steam from childhood experiences. This can easily relate to Mary Ainsworth’s strange situation method as when the care giver forced the infant to be independent, they responded to all adults the same resulting in a rebellious infant with low self-esteem. When an individual suffers from low self-esteem they display anger as they feel inadequate and in the relationship itself they might believe there inadequacy will threaten the loss of the relationship. I believe that anger may occur during the relationship as the two parties may self-disclose differently, one party may become more vulnerable as they open up more divulging more personal information making them afraid to lose the other party causing them again to be angry. The anger in the relationship has an original source allowing the therapist to explore the origin possibly through psychoanalytic counselling. After the origin has been identified a plan can be put in place for a successful outcome. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Harlow has been criticised as his experiments with the monkeys was deem as cruelty and had no direct link with human life. The experiment performed by Mary Ainsworth had ethical implications as the children were put under un-necessary stress and broke the ‘protection of participants’ in the ethical guidelines. Also the strange situation experiment is biased as it is difficult to generalise the findings due to the participants being middle class Americans. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- This essay has examined the attachment and social penetration theories and related them to an anger issues within a relationship. I found that although the experiments had ethical issues, I believe they bought a level of understanding to adult attachment and answers to this self-defeating behaviour. ------------------------------------------------- References ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Bowlby, J. (1958). The Nature of the Childs Tie to His Mother. International Journal of Psychoanalysis ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Bowlby J. (1969). Attachment. Attachment and Loss:  Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books. ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Schaffer, H. R. & Emerson, P. E. (1964). ‘The Development of Social Attachments in Infancy ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Dollard, J. & Miller, N.E. (1950). Personality and psychotherapy. New York: McGraw-Hill ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Bell, S. M. (1970). Attachment, exploration, and separation: Illustrated by the behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation.  ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). "Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented during the Ainsworth Strange Situation". M.T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti & E.M. Cummings (Eds.),