Community_and_Family_Studies

Parenting and Caring- Meet the Parents. 1. Identify and justify the parenting style that is portrayed in the movie. How intimidating would it be to find out that Jack Byrnes (an ex CSI agent) is your future father-in-law' So much so that you'd do practically anything, including a few things slightly illegal, just to please him. Greg goes to great lengths to be accepted by his future in-laws, but it seems that despite good intentions, he digs himself deeper into trouble with every passing minute. Pam Byrnes’ parents have distinct parenting styles. The father (Jack Byrnes) is an authoritarian parent with his wife dinner sitting back and at times Dina can be Permissive/indulgent; as a result of Jack’s authoritarian mannerisms.’ Jack Byrnes loves his daughter Pam very much although he is very protective of her and can treat her more like a child without considering that she can make decisions by herself. This can be seen in Scene 3 when Pam runs up to her father and he kisses her several times and then they do a playful handshake in which a child would have with there friend. This shows that Jack is an authoritarian parent as Pam has not fully developed an adult relationship with her father as he has stunted her ability to develop that relationship. Pam attempts to impress Jack by telling her parents that Greg is now in triage where the best nurses work. Jack then replies “Not many Men in your profession Greg”. This shows that Jack is critically insulting Greg’s profession and showing his Authoritarian parenting by not praising Greg and Pam instead insulting Greg about his Profession. This shows no Praise for positive behaviour. In Scene 3 Jack shows his new invention called the ‘Nanny Camera’. Jack states “How do you really know for certain your loved ones are safe with a stranger… Can you ever really trust another human being'”. This is in relation to hiring a babysitter. This shows authoritarian parenting once again as Jack shows no trust for people not inside his own ‘circle of trust’. He is completely assuring parents a controlling and monitoring environment which reflects authoritarian parents. During Scene 4 Greg states that he never use to eat at dinner tables although Jack asks Greg to say grace even though Greg is Jewish. Greg stated that he has said grace at dinner tables “all the time”. This is in contradiction to what he had previously said in which shows him lying and trying to impress Jack and Dina. This once again shows authoritarian parenting as children/spouses are rarely praised for positive behaviour with Greg thriving for it. During Scene 5 Jack warns Greg “It is my way or the highway”. This is said when he explains that his rules are the only things happening under his roof. This shows he directly instructs and directs his children’s behaviour and if it is not followed they are in trouble. This has a direct link to authoritarian parenting. Dina (Pams Mother) is seen as being permissive/indulgent at times as she lets Jack do all of the parenting and her acting more like a friend. This can be seen when Dina asks Pam if her and Greg are having safe sex. This is more of a talk with a friend rather than a parent\, with this reflecting permissive/indulgent parenting. 2. Describe the values that the parents demonstrate throughout the movie using examples to illustrate your answer. This Nuclear Family demonstrate throughout the movie a reputation, with high morals and ethics to the wider community and between themselves. They take parenting and family life very seriously and value it highly. One value that the family demonstrates throughout the movie is the importance of family. You can see this through the family water polo game and then lunch at Pam ex-boyfriends house- Kevin Rawley. This represents a significance of communicating and spending leisure time with family members and even ones such as Kevin whom may have only been apart of the family for a short amount of time; although they are still valued. A second Value that the Jack and Dina signify throughout the movie is the value of honesty. Jack may have had this rubbed on him from his ex CIA background. Although this is dominant in scene 7 where Greg discovers a hidden room with a Antique Polygraph Machine. Jack then goes on to hook Greg up to the machine and ask him several questions. This shows that Jack feels honesty is of great importance as he owns his own polygraph machine as it proves honesty. A third value of the Byrnes is Trust. Trust is of importance as Jack has a big secret which is that he was a CIA Agent. This is examined during Scene 8 when Jack tells Greg that he is now “In the Brynes Family Circle of Trust”. He then goes on to say “I keep nothing from you, you keep nothing from me and round and round we go”. This shows that mutual understanding that you must trust and share your secrets to all others in the circle if trust happens. A fourth Byrnes family value is Efficiency. Throughout the whole movie there are examples of this. It can be seen when Jack gets concerned when Dr Bob’s best man isn’t able to come so then he has to change the whole itinerary. The following quote explains this “Oh, no now I have to reconfigure the whole procession”. Another example is when he states “people come and get your revised itinerary’s….Alarm goes off in T-16 seconds”. He also prises Kevin for his time efficiency. A Fifth family value is A Priority if Happiness for their children. Jack cares about his children dearly and this reflects his Authoritarian parenting style, He expects the best for his children. This can be reflected by the following quote extracted from scene 9- “But I will be watching you and if I find that you have been trying to corrupt my first born child I will bring you down, I will bring you down to China town”. Jack feels that Pam is pure and happy and doesn’t want Greg to corrupt her innocence. Importance of Family, Honesty, Trust, Efficiency, and Happiness of Children are 5 values of Jack and Dina Byrnes. 3. Critically analyse the roles that the parents play in the movie taking particular note of strategies that are used to contribute to positive relationships in the family. In different family and different relationships there are many roles that are played through several diverse people. Within Meet the Parents there are many different roles played. Jack and Dina are apart of a Nuclear family. This is a traditional family type in which the father has certain roles and the same with the mother. Children are apart of this and can normally be passed as a parenting style through several generations-as family values. Both Jack and Dina play the role of providing 'bridges' to all aspects of the outside world, providing more experiences for children as well as practical opportunities such as job possibilities and extended relative. Although this may have been more accurate when Danny, Pam and Deborah were younger you can see traces of this by Jack and Dina being efficient when jack states that “Everyone must grab their revised itineraries”. Jack Byrnes can be seen as playing the roles of ‘The Rock’, The Breadwinner, and Protector of daughters, organiser and participator/problem-solver. ‘The Rock’ is a "tough" father - strict on discipline and in charge of the family. Jack may also believe that a good father remains emotionally distant from his children, so expressions of affection are taboo. This can be seen through when he says to Greg “it’s my way or the long island express way’. This is when he threatens Greg to follow his rules in his household. It is a direct example of a Rock role. The breadwinner is a second role Jack plays as he is the main earner in the household. This role is seen when he pours the wine down the sink and says he will go and buy more when he really has a secret meeting in a car park. This shows that he decides what happens with money. A second example of this is when Jack explains that he bought Deb and Dr Bob a honeymoon to Thailand. He states “I” instead of us when he explains who the present is from this shows that he is also the sole breadwinner. Additionally Jack plays the role of Protector of children-especially daughters. Protection for their daughters and a role model for their sons. This means that he feels strongly about his daughter’s well-being and safety and will go to great extremes to protect it. “But I will be watching you and if I find that you have been trying to corrupt my first born child I will bring you down, I will bring you down to China town”, this is a direct example of how Jack wants to protect his daughters by threatening Greg and actions he will take in justice. Furthermore Jack Byrnes plays the role of Organiser. Jack is the main person who takes care of this role. Jack likes to know exactly what he is doing, when he is doing it and how long it will take This means that he gets everything into order, and his character is very precise about these things, which at times can be very intimidating. This can be seen through “people come and get your revised itinerary’s….Alarm goes off in T-16 seconds”. This is Jack organising everybody’s day with itineraries. He appreciates being in control and knowing what is happening. A fifth role that is seen in Meet the Parents is a participator/problem-solver. Being a participator/organiser is taking control of every opportunity and helping to take charge of a problem and find a way of resolution. This can be seen when Jack gets concerned when Dr Bob’s best man isn’t able to come to the wedding so then he has to change the whole itinerary. The following quote explains this “Oh, no now I have to reconfigure the whole procession”. This shows that a problem has occurred and Jack found a resolution but getting Greg to step in as an usher. Dina Byrnes can be seen as playing the roles of A Friend, Peacekeeper and at times an Indulgent mother to Pam, Deborah and Danny. One of Dina’s many roles is a Friend of all of her children. An example of this is when Dina asks Pam “So have you been m, m, mmm'” This shows that Pam and her mother Dina feel comfortable in the friend role not always the mother, daughter role. A second role Dina demonstrates throughout the movie is a Peacekeeper. A peacekeeper is a type of role in which a person doesn’t like tension and tries to avoid it at all costs. This can be sent through when Pam asks Dina “Dad seems to like him don’t you think'” Dina then sarcastically although at the same time thoughtfully “Absolutely”. This shows that Dina does not want Pam to know the real truth and just wants her to see for herself. This is a direct example of a peace keeper. An Additional role Dina plays is an Indulgent parent. This can mean that Dina can give into her children at times and forget that she is really a parent and not a friend and sometimes she does have to act like an authoritarian. This can be seen when Dina indulges in the gossip of Greg’s family and the contrast of them at the dinner table to Greg’s family fighting over Chinese food. Dina replies to Greg “oh you poor things was there not enough food'” This can be seen as prying and wanting to know more, by suggesting answers. Strategies in which are used within the movie to contribute to positive relationships are to Be assertive, Keep Private, Respect, Set boundaries and talking to your spouse. Being Assertive can mean having In-laws they seem to have ideas of their own. Out of respect, it is good to listen and sometimes heed your elder’s opinions. This can be seen when Greg listens to Jack talk about flowers even though he stumbles over his words, and appears to have no idea about flowers. Having respect within the family contributes to positive relationships within the family. They are respectful at all times, which can lead to the family opening up which shows that there is trust. This can be seen through the explanation of the “Circle of Trust”. By setting boundaries and knowing where the line is when it is crossed, helps to develop and stabalise positive relationships. Setting boundaries in a respectful fashion without hurting any feelings is one way the Byrnes takes control. This can be seen when Jack explains to Greg that whilst he is in his house he goes by his rules. This would be likewise in Greg’s house. By the Byrnes talking to their spouses it helps them to relive their tension and also helping them to ‘Air out their Dirty Laundry’. This shows that they are able to communicate effectively and also be in a connection. This can be seen through several scenes where both Pam and Greg are talking and Jack and Dina are in conversation whilst going to sleep. 4. Identify any support networks that members of the family call upon to overcome difficulties. Evaluate the role that these networks play. Within Meet the Parents there are several support networks that are seen throughout different stages of the plot. An example of a support network is the family as a whole. They each rely on one another in different ways. By having a supportive family, members can relax and be themselves without feeling the need to impress or prove to somebody anything; although Jack relies on a wheel network. For example Pam comes in to comfort Greg once Jack has antagonised him. This shows that Pam and Greg both support each other. A second way in which the family supports each other is how Pam sisters fiancés family come to join the Byrne’s breakfast during scene this shows unity. You can also see that when Jack and Dina go to bed they talk which in a way is also supporting each other by sharing feelings. A second example of a support network is the airport police/security which is a formal network. They act as a support network to Jack Byrnes. Jack goes into the airport and wants to interview Greg. He is able to do this as even though he is not in the CIA anymore he is still able to lean on them and allow them to act as a support network. A third support network directly links to Pam. This is through her primary class of “Problem of the week” and they scare them away. This shows that not only does Pam formally support her class but they also informally support her with scaring away their issues. An additional support network represented in Meet the Parents is having an animal. This informal support network directs to Jack; as he appreciates Mr Jinx very much. This can be seen through jack directly talking to Jinx and also asking him “That’s my future son in law- what do you think'” In a separate moment of the movie Jack shows his appreciation of Jinx when he states “Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat I love you, where are you”. This shows that Jack leans on an animal to demonstrate his ideology and love for him. A further support network is informally Greg’s patients as he is a nurse. Normally Greg would ne the patients support network although he leans on them and asks them for advice also. This may not be ethical although Greg has said “I can support 100% on patient care”. You can see during scene 1 when Greg practices proposing to his elderly male patient then asks “seriously do you think that sounds good, thanks for listening I really appreciate it”. This shows that he asks for advice and support from patients whilst looking after the patient. By April Fonseca. 12 CAFS