Coaching_and_Mentoring

What are the benefits of integrative life-coaching' ------------------------------------------------- “One of the main reasons people have difficulty manifesting success in their life is simply because they have no idea what their own idea of personal success really is.” – Tristan Loo (The Synergy Institute) ------------------------------------------------- I have often wondered what would have been different in my life, if i had been offered coaching at school, in my career or indeed through any of my work placements. Some children in my class were focused; they knew exactly what they wanted to do and how they were going to get there. I on the other hand, had no clue. I knew what subjects i like and enjoyed. But i was deeply unhappy at school and had no one to talk to about the things that troubled me. I left school not knowing what i wanted to do or what i was good at. The only thing I’d done with any degree of success was music and i had stopped playing all instruments in protest long before my final year at school. Now up until very recently i had just been doing what i could to get by and scrape a living doing the bare minimum as was not happy. I had an idea i was a natural coach, i have always supported, counselled and taught others in my work place and personal life too. I felt i wanted to give to those around i as i felt rightly or not, that i had not been supported. I come from a family background of Mental Health professionals. It was the natural choice for me then, in my late teens. It was the field i was brought up in and had worked in from a school leaver’s age. I was not at the time passionate about it as i am now and i learnt a great deal of the models of nursing having been coming up again and again in the coaching books i have read. For example Maslow’s Hierarchy in Curly Martins book” The Personal Success Handbook”. This was reassuring to see something familiar and also exciting to have some common ground to begin my own coaching journey and the steps to self actualisation! ------------------------------------------------- So i went to university and got booted off the course 6 months before qualifying as a psychiatric nurse. My heart wasn’t in it; i was acting out various dramas in my life. I had no focus on the course whatsoever. Over the years i managed to complete the necessary National Vocational Qualification’s to be able to qualify for senior management in my father’s company. I then began training others as to the day to day running of a mental health facility, in the community. I had spent a few years by now also drifting in and out of nursing on the acute wards on placement and working also. Throughout this whole time of nearly 10 years, i was never offered coaching within the workplace, whether working as a unqualified nurse or a health care professional in day centres, or indeed at my family’s’ care- homes. Minimal Mentoring at University was offered and my only role model was my father. He is an extremely well respected individual within said profession but we had a very strained relationship and he wasn’t a nurturing caring parent, just in his profession. For someone like me the benefits would have been extremely helpful, beneficial in so many ways! ------------------------------------------------- It would have been an opportunity to talk about my strengths and weaknesses at school and to work out what kind of path i could undertaken and how. ------------------------------------------------- There was a study published in the 22nd of Aug 2008 issue of the Guardian newspaper which looked into the benefits of taking a gap year on a young person’s life. How you can further your skills and indeed your employability! (Please click on the link for the full report) (http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/aug/22/student-gap-year-case-studies) On the panel of advisers sat a life coach, with every employer and student to oversee each case, there were an assortment of jobs/experiences A lady from Vitalis (vitaliscoaching.com) had taken a year out and in fact had done it twice in her life once after her A levels to Paris for a year. Then again, before she decided to start practicing as a life coach, she went to India for a year. These were the experiences that the young people went on whilst on their gap year. * Working for Marks and Spencer’s * Charity fundraising * Completed a Teaching English as a Foreign Language course and taught English in Paris for 7 months * Travelled to New Zealand did some extreme sports and worked on a vineyard * Went to spend a year in Israel studying Hebrew, spent 3 months teaching English to migrants from Eastern Europe in an inner-city school in Israel and travelled around Israel also. Each student picked their own experience and explained what they were hoping to accomplish and achieve by this and how. They were all highly successful exercises and the students were supported in many ways, their choices were supported. Their views were heard and treated with respect and the employers were given time to say how these experiences would benefit a potential employees chances of being hired. The study concluded that taking a year out no matter what the choice of experience was always a beneficial choice. The students learnt valuable and usable skills, experienced cultures and languages. They got more confidence in their own life skills as they had to look after themselves perhaps for the first time. These kids spent time in teams and worked alone; they basically matured and broadened their chances of a healthy and more functional work and life experience by making these choices in an informed and supported style. The reader was being educated. Made aware as well as the students having had access to this service also it was a successful relevant and beneficial study for school leavers and parents as well as employers to see how it can be used as well as the study itself , which was about the gap year. ------------------------------------------------- I came across a similar setting for me again, when i went back to University to complete my degree. I was asked over and over how I thought that Life Coaching was relevant in the Mental Health sector. To the client base and also to the professionals and i am not being supported in my bid to go back and finish my degree as it is felt that i am not in the mainstream nursing sector anymore so not a viable investment to make. No coaching was offered only advice on courses. Needless to say i won’t be giving up easily! I feel passionate about coaching in this field now and will be working even harder to break in as a coach who works for nurses for the client base and using nursing techniques and coaching skills also. The benefits of coaching are, heightened self awareness. This is brought about by using the tried and tested models such as the * Results based coaching current situation-this is making the client simply look at their immediate situation. On a scale of 1-10 they can mark down how they perceive their current place within these headings. * A life coaching specifics chart- in which a person will decide the importance of certain aspects of their life, such as health wealth and relationships. * Maslow’s hierarchy –where Self actualisation, wanting to be the best you can be. Understanding that the following diagram is vital to our growth -and development. (Picture taken from http://www.changezone.co.uk/dynamics/selfactualisation.html ) You need to have all these met until they are; you cannot grow, gain confidence and be the highest intention of yourself. * 4) The ICANDO chart, to start the coaching session enables the coach to get the basic details to start coaching the client. This chart follows the natural course of conversation. Starting with what is important to the client, and then their situation currently and what are the goals right now. Then moving on to how can the client achieve their goals or if they feel they can’t then how could they' Using commitment early on, as we have learnt from Curly Martins book: “The Life Coaching Handbook”, that once we have made commitment to something, we will not break that as a rule. Or we will do our utmost not to at least. This is due to the guilt factor. We do not want to be seen as a person who is not trustworthy, or someone who breaks their word. So we do what we can to stick to something once we have made that commitment. This leads me on to the commitment scale. Asking how many out of ten 1 being the lowest, are at. Commitment: making agreements towards achieving realistic and doable goals. By making the clients speak out loud and recognise their level of commitment there is an awakening and realisation as to what and how they need to do in order to bring that level up. The client is empowered, they are making the decisions and they are setting the goals in a time frame that is realistic and relevant to them. ------------------------------------------------- Coaching is the modern way that we are using to exchange and engage in creative conversation. Co-active coaching; guiding people towards Success in Work and Life .whereby a coach and coachee interact in a dynamic exchange to achieve goals. We need this to discuss, decide and process our thoughts. It has become apparent that it is essential to making decisions and setting goals. My niche for now is going to be going back to my original career in mental health. |It will be incorporating and integrating my experience of ward based nursing, day care, residential settings. Including teaching and group work within this field. During the last 10 years, I’ve gone from acute admissions, to now working in a more progressive style, concentrating particularly on addictive behaviours and patterns and also, health and general well being including, nutritional advice, relaxation, meditation. I am keen to specialize in reducing stress, healthy coping mechanisms and motivational techniques. I would like, very much, to work with service users and professionals within this branch of nursing. During my time, working in mental health, I have had one person, who has mentored and coached me. She has always been incredibly supportive and yet, real and unafraid to confront me about my short comings, my requirements to study on placement and my need for personal growth and development, in my own life path, too. I am very fortunate as I know, from my peers and work colleagues that this is a rarity. We have only worked with each other for a period of a few months at most, but spread over the whole of my working career. I approached the institute of nursing and midwifery; they were not supportive of my collaborative style of nursing including my intention to use life coaching skills and models within the current frame work of the mental health system. I was told to re-think my desire to complete my degree in Nursing. Going on the weekend to Bournemouth and working on the modules and coaching log has given me more faith in myself that I am coming from the right place. Drawing on 15 years of mental health nursing and life experience is going to make me a relevant and competent coach in this field. It is very clear to me that Mental health comes into every aspect of life. Looking at one of the models shown above and in Curly Martins book “The Personal Success Handbook” it talks about self image in the self success section. The example given in the book really resonated with me as it is something i am working on! Of course you can apply it to whatever you are thinking about that you believe and convince yourself you cannot do. The steps are: * You believe you cannot dance. * You have an image of yourself not dancing! * You say out loud i cannot have and when people ask you, you say no, i cannot dance. * You begin to dance. * You fail (trip over, fall, and step on someone’s toes). * You reconfirm out loud and in your head that you can’t dance, “see i said i couldn’t”. * You reinforce the negative image. * You repeat the cycle over and over. It goes onto say in the self success chapter that as you repeat these steps you make the belief stronger. At this point, another picture is given to show how if you take the references away, the supporting actions the supporting attitudes that the belief collapses. I have tried it and encouraged others to, it does work. It takes the commitment that you want to be the best you can of yourself to be freed. I understand that learning all the time and continuing with my development will make me a better practioner. I also see the benefits of progressive counselling. On the website for Self realisation (http://www.selfrealizationcentres.org/progressive-counselling/) it states the following: “Progressive Counselling is a powerful therapy in its own right. Progressive Counselling helps a person to see and choose which way to go in their life, whether with regard to relationships, decisions, illness or any other pressing issues. A Progressive Counsellor will never make a person’s decision for them, nor tell them what to do, but will help them to unravel and see what is hidden within. Often a person finds their own natural level of intuition and decisiveness greatly enhanced by this process, as they come to understand themselves to a greater depth”. ------------------------------------------------- This made me think about the similarities between the modern day coach, the wise man in the village who in some cultures advised and guided his younger followers. The teacher/ mentor at school all throughout history there have been these figures, so why wouldn’t we need them now. ------------------------------------------------- In every model or framework, I have come across since completing this course, there are huge similarities. They all say that unless you have the security the main life points to survive you can’t deal with the higher wants and needs. The promotion you want. The holidays the courses and development for your own life path. You have to be happy secure in your home secure and supported at work. In healthy relationships, able to deal with your stress, you cannot lead a stress free life you just need to learn how to cope with it in a healthy and aware state. Client B in my case study cannot reach self actualization until he has put other things his plans into motion. He has identified he needs an assistant, time to stop, deal with his stress. Also sort out his work load and his personal issues. The first step to this was securing his self funding so that he has a secure job. Until this is done, he cannot consider anything else. My job, therefore, is to provide space and time for him to be listened to. He needs to be confronted about his present situation. To client A, They need more of a mentor and a coach, and for me to enable them, by giving them tools, to deal with their stress and motivation. My goal is to work with people who are committed to making positive changes both with the health care professionals and their client base. The benefits of coaching and integrative coaching. I have been reading various articles, which state the different benefits of life coaching and they are all in agreement. * Life coaching is nothing new * Life coaching has been around for as long as people have lived in societies and have had relationships with one another. * Life coaching can and will help you to create a better work life balance * Support. A life coach will listen to your story without evaluating, criticizing, judging, or offering solutions. * They will lend their support for you through the toughest of times as well as the best of times * It will enable you to reach goals and encourage gap analysis * Can empower you to deal with stressful situations and learn your own coping mechanisms The writer who interested me in particular was Tristan Loo and his article on the benefits of having a life coach. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/TristanLoo2.html He listed the points above and he said something which really jumped out to me and it has actually cleared up alot of my problems that i was encountering whilst doing this home study part of the course! He said, “One of the main reasons people have difficulty manifesting success in their life is simply because they have no idea what their own idea of personal success really is.” I have struggled with this, so this is where my journey begins for my life coaching. ------------------------------------------------- Having a coaching circle and Mentor is a hugely important part of my training to be a coach. I am learning every time from a clients point of view how being coached as a committed person is incredibly powerful. ------------------------------------------------- So to conclude My style of coaching will then integrate: * My life experience. * Of being born to parents from different cultures. * Spending 15 years working in Mental health. * NVQ * Teaching and group work with the English language. * Communications training * Management and leadership training * My spirituality * My experience being coached by the mentor ive had on the LCD * The models and coaching techniques ive been taught on the LCD Of course that is my starting point and i will be using a Mentor for as long as i coach, for me it makes perfect sense. Coaching maxims and principles * Typically good coaches will use and follow these principles: * Listening is more important than talking * What motivates people must be understood * Everyone is capable of achieving more * A person's past is no indication of their future * People's beliefs about what is possible for themselves are their only limits * A coach must always provide full support * Coaches don't provide the answers * Coaching does not include criticising people * All coaching is completely confidential * Some people's needs cannot be met by coaching , and coaches recognise clients with these needs Coaching is a two way process, in which the client and coach can both learn grow and develop. It is exciting can be fun but more than anything i have learnt it is absolutely necessary as much now as it has always been.