Close_Relationship_Sometimes_Mask_Poor_Communication

Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication Communication is a tool that we will use for as long as we live but can be so complex. The various ways of communicating can be done verbally, non-verbally and or written. All three ways of communicating are vital in relationships but the closeness of a relationship can mask how effective you can get your message understood. The article talks about how close relationships masks poor communication. A philosopher, Alfred Korzybski suggested that we would be better at communicating if we and others were more aware what we are doing when communicating, recognize that communication is a process that requires constant work and expect to be misunderstood and misunderstand people. Sole (2011) I believe that you if plan to continue to have a close relationship with a spouse, family member or even co-worker it is important to be effective in those areas. I experienced miscommunication one time with my best friend Brandi. She and I share a mutual friend and we are all Facebook friends. I noticed one date that our mutual friend removed me as a friend from her Facebook account. I called Brandi and said sarcastically with a slight giggle in my voice “I see your girl removed me as her friend on Facebook.” “I wonder why, I have not done anything to her.” “Do you know why she removed me'” Brandi responded that she does not talk about me behind my back so she does not know why she did that. We talk for a few more minutes and then we got off the phone. Brandi and I speak every day and sometimes three or four times a day. I phoned her the next morning on my way to work like I normally do and she did not answer. I called her later on that evening and again no answer. This went on for three days. I then texted her saying hi and give me a call when she got a chance and she responded “alright” but she never called. I am now thinking to myself she is never this busy something must be wrong. I texted her again saying “I have called and texted you for the last three days and I have not heard from you is something wrong'” Brandi responded, “I was offended by your phone call on the other day. You are my best friend I would not dare talk about you behind my back. I responded, “you misunderstood my phone call please call me so that I can explain.” Brandi called and I explained to her that I was joking when I called about the mutual friend removing me from her Facebook page. I was really asking a rhetorical question that did not require an answer. I asked the questioned in a joking way and I thought you knew that I was playing. I went on to say come on now, how long have we been friends, you know I could care less about being deleted from anybodies page. Brandi then explained that she is aware that we have been friends a long time but she did not realize that I was playing and that is why she was offended. As the sender of this conversation I should have done a better job in encoding my ideas so that my message would have been understood. Sole (2011) I could have stated before my question that I was asking this question in a joking manner and it really did not require an answer. I think that would have set the tone of our conversation. On the receiving end I should have asked Brandi to explain herself further when she replied that she does not talk about me behind my back. I say that because as I thought about it later that was not the answer to the question. Had I been an active receiver to that response I believe that the conversation would had ending without her feeling offended. In the future I will not take for granite that she would know when I was playing or serious especially when we are having a conversation over the phone. I learned that if I am going to ask joking questions over the phone my voice inflections should depict that. References http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and behavior/articles/2011/01/24/close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor- communication K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec1.1 K. Sole (2011) Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication, Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUCOM200.11.1/sections/sec2.2