Cleopatra

Assignment 02. Responding to Feedback. Original Version with Comments. Part 1 – Cleopatra. What impression does Dio give of the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony, and how does this impression relate to other Roman attitudes found in the chapter' The impression that Dio gives of the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony is that of a partnership, albeit a seemingly unbalanced and negative one where Cleopatra was the dominant partner and Antony seemed to be the submissive one. ( good point to make, though in future essays try to avoid single-sentence paragraphs. Perhaps just be a bit clearer about what the essay will be about. You could start off your introduction with something like, ‘This essay will outline Dio’s view...and then relate it to wider Roman views’, then start your analysis in the second paragraph. Dio paints a picture of Antony being under Cleopatra’s spell to the point where “Antony followed on foot together with her eunuchs” and “wore clothes which were completely alien to Roman custom” (AA100 Assignment Booklet Page 18). He shows (from his point of view) that Antony had disowned his own culture for (that of) the Egyptian one, which included him being portrayed as Egyptian gods alongside Cleopatra.( He also states that as well as Antony, Cleopatra “enchanted and enthralled all the others who counted for anything with him” (AA100 Assignment Booklet Page 18). And what does this suggest about their relationship' Although this description of the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony seems to be full of facts, it must be remembered that Cassius Dio wrote this extract some 200 years after the actual events and therefore he could have been writing a narrative based on ideas that had been passed down by word of mouth through the Roman culture. Interesting discussion, but is this helping you to answer the set question' And try to avoid single-sentence paragraphs. Reading through the chapter on Cleopatra in the Reputations book it can be seen very clearly that Dio’s ideas on the subject are very similar to those of the Roman attitudes.( yes. The Roman view towards Cleopatra and also therefore Egypt are shown throughout as negative ones, and this can also be seen in the excerpt from Dio. Combine this single-sentence paragraph with the one before it. In the ’Reading 1.1’ (Augustus on Cleopatra) the negative propaganda towards both Cleopatra and Egypt is immediate: “We Romans are the rulers of the greatest and best parts of the world, and yet we find ourselves spurned and trampled upon by a woman of Egypt” (Chapter 1, Scott Kilvert in Fear 2008, Page 27). Combine this with preceding paragraph, then edit discussion so that the paragraph becomes more concise. It is clear from reading this source that Roman ideals would not embrace the customs and traditions of a country that they thought to be totally beneath their own; the main reason being that the ruler was a woman. It also describes that Antony was “bewitched”. This idea of Cleopatra is also seen in the extract written by Dio and is an idea that runs throughout the chapter when reading the Roman writings. Perhaps cite Plutarch, or maybe Horace to back up your point. They see Cleopatra as a sexual predator and manipulator who was out to ruin others to extend her rule. But could this be seen as just another part of negative propaganda' Perhaps consider why such propaganda would be needed. Think about the comment on pp. 14-15. Were Dio’s views a legacy of the propaganda campaign waged by Octavian' Why would it be in Octavian’s interests to present Cleopatra in a negative light and lay the blame for the war solely on her' Romans regarded their society as a power that was manly with great discipline and principles, whilst their view of Egypt was one of a debauched and effeminate society, and these ideas can be found within the writings of Dio and the speech of Octavian at the Battle of Actium. This paragraph seems a bit out of place here as it doesn’t really relate to the one preceding it. It could perhaps be moved earlier on. Although the impressions given by Dio and other Roman historians and poets are those of portraying Cleopatra and Antony’s relationship as a negative one, it is important to remember that these views are one-sided. It is well understood that throughout history it is the winners of conflicts that write the history from their perspective, and generally therefore the losers are reduced to an idea. In the modern world this would be tantamount to “spin” – the winners write what they want the masses to believe, and it is clear that through the centuries the Roman portrayal of Cleopatra has survived because they were the winners. An interesting conclusion, though there is a bit too much narrative discussion in it. Remember, the conclusion should wrap up the main ideas of the essay and reiterate your answer to the question. Here, you introduce the notion of one-sidedness in history. Comments from the Assessment Summary You are heading in the right direction with your comments about Dio, though your answer would be stronger with more in-depth analysis of the passage in the Assignment Booklet.  More could be made of the specifics of what Dio writes - how about the significance of coupling Antony with 'eunuchs''; this is a telling word to use.  Remember, the first part of the question is after a close analysis of the passage, so more detailed discussion of it would be welcome.  More general comments you make, about when Dio was writing, for example, could either be edited or deleted to allow for a fuller discussion of salient points from the passage.  And be careful also of using extra words and repeating yourself a bit (I'm thinking about the two short paragraphs on p. 2 that begin 'Reading throughout the chapter...' and 'The Roman view towards Cleopatra..'). It would also have been a good idea to have looked at Plutarch and Horace instead of, or as well as, Reading 1.1. New Draft Part 1 – Cleopatra. What impression does Dio give of the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony, and how does this impression relate to other Roman attitudes found in the chapter' This essay will outline Dio’s view regarding the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony and how this view relates to wider Roman ideas. The impression that Dio gives of the relationship between Cleopatra and Antony is that of a partnership, albeit a seemingly unbalanced and negative one where Cleopatra was the dominant partner and Antony seemed to be the submissive one. Dio intimates that Antony was under Cleopatra’s spell to the point where “Antony followed on foot together with her eunuchs” and “wore clothes which were completely alien to Roman custom” (AA100 Assignment Booklet. P.18). This implies that Cleopatra had so much influence over Antony that he lost his power and therefore became emasculated and much more like a servant instead of an equal. Dio also shows (from his point of view) that Antony had disowned his culture for the Egyptian one, which included him being portrayed as Egyptian gods alongside Cleopatra. Dio states that as well as Antony, Cleopatra “enchanted and enthralled all the others who counted for anything with him” (AA100 Assignment Booklet. Page 18) which suggests that the influence that Cleopatra had over Antony was absolute. Reading through Chapter 1 on Cleopatra in the Reputations book, it can be seen very clearly that Dio’s ideas on the subject are very similar to those of the Roman attitude. The Roman view towards Cleopatra and also Egypt are shown throughout as a negative one. In the reading 1.1. (Augustus on Cleopatra), the negative propaganda towards both Cleopatra and Egypt is immediate: “We Romans are the rulers of the greatest and best parts of the world and yet we find ourselves spurned and trampled upon by a woman of Egypt” (Scott-Kilvert in Fear, 2008, p.27). This remark illustrates that the Romans disliked both the Egyptians and the idea of a woman being so powerful. The Romans also see that Egypt was a country decidedly beneath their own. They regarded Roman society as a power that was manly with great discipline and principles, whilst their view of Egypt was one of a debauched and effeminate society. The notion that Cleopatra bewitched Antony is noted in the views of both the Romans and Dio and can also be seen in the writings of Plutarch: “The love for Cleopatra came as the final and crowning mischief which could befall him. It excited to the point of madness many passions” (Scott-Kilvert in Fear, 2008, p.9). This shows that the Romans had the belief that Antony was entranced to such an extent by Cleopatra that he could not resist her influence. The impressions given in the extract from Dio and from other writings including Plutarch certainly portrays the relationship between Antony and Cleopatra as a negative and corrupted one. However these views are seemingly one-sided. As it is shown throughout history, the victors of conflicts write their accounts from a biased point of view and therefore the writings of Dio (although written much later) are closely related to the attitudes of the Romans. Bibliography Fear, T. (2008) ‘Cleopatra’ in Fear, T. Reputations (AA100 Book 1), Milton Keynes, The Open University, pp 2-28. The Open University (2010) AA100 Assignment Booklet. Part 2: Reflective Commentary After receiving the PT3 feedback form from my tutor and reading through it extensively I could see that there were areas within the assignment that I could improve on to enhance the piece. Firstly, although in the original draft I did write an introduction that incorporated the question, I did not outline what I was aiming to achieve. I have now reworked the introduction so that it now states that. Throughout the assignment I do touch on some specifics of what Dio wrote although I did not elaborate on why I thought they were significant. Therefore I have incorporated my interpretation of the ideas to back up the specifics. The feedback did note that there were too many general comments which “could be edited or deleted to allow for a fuller discussion of salient points” (Williamson, 2010, p.4). As well as too many general comments, it was suggested that I did repeat myself slightly which meant that I was using up precious word use. I therefore reworked some paragraphs so that where edited I have been able to enhance the assignment. One element I would like to improve on in future assignments is to make things more concise making sure that I do not use extra words if not needed and not to repeat myself which will allow more word allowance for detailed discussion. Bibliography Williamson, 2010, Page 4.