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Develop and Promote Positive Relationships Unit 301 K3C154 Having great working relationships are important for any setting. Whether these be with colleagues, parents, groups of children or the individual child. A positive relationship can be enhanced by respecting adults and children’s opinions and views. As a result of good relationships, parents feel welcomed and result in commenting on their child – you will find you get to know a lot more about the child. This results in a good atmosphere helping the child to settle better and feel more secure. A good working relationship between staff and volunteers will usually benefit the child. Staff will enjoy doing their job and be more enthusiastic and interested in their job which creates an improved atmosphere for all concerned. This makes it easier for the child to separate from their primary carer and cooperate with workers and assistants better. K3C155 There are a number of legislative works dealing with how you relate to and interact with a child in your care. They outline themes including and not limited to respect, kindness, consideration, freedom of speech, expression and exchange of information. These are covered by: • United Nations Convention on the rights of the child, • Human Rights Act 1998, • Data Protection Act 1998, • Protection of Children Act 1999. First and foremost is the UN convention on the rights of a child which can be found in the Human Rights Act (1998), relevant in interacting with children, covering both adults and children’s rights. Furthermore, there is UN legislation embodied in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child act 1991 which must be adhered to. All UK legislation and by-laws are required to reflect these rights. Importantly, the human rights act requires allowing children the right to freedom of expression and the freedom to express themselves, usually exhibited through play. As such, all children have the right to have their views heard and considered. All children have the right to receive physical care, including the right to undertake physical activities, have nappies changed, be fed regularly etc. The human rights act states they have the right to privacy manifested in issues of confidentiality.[1] The act covers the right not to be discriminated against because of race, culture, disability or religion[2] so inclusion policies must reflect this. K3M156 Confidentiality is important in settings. There is comprehensive legislation covering confidentiality in the form of the Data Protection Act (1998), to prevent loss or abuse of personal information, which often can easily be applied by keeping confidential information in a locked desk or cabinet or having passwords on computers. Data holders (i.e., settings) must be on the Data Protection Register, registered with the Data Protection Commission who regulates this area in accordance according to the Data Protection Act of 1984/1998. Parental or carer permission is required before information is passed on to other professionals but care is needed to ensure that information is used and processed for a limited and clear set of objectives including and not limited to: • Information should be adequate, accurate, relevant and not excessive, • Information should not be kept longer than necessary, • Information should be processed in accordance with the data subject’s rights, • Information should be kept secure, • Information should not be transferred to countries that do not have adequate protection, • Information should only be processed fairly and lawfully. K3D157 My setting is aware of The Disability Discrimination Act 1995, Special Educational Needs Code of Practice 2002, the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and the Care Standards Act 2000 ensuring they are followed and adhered to. The setting ensures all children have an equal right to develop fully in order to realise their potential. It covers the needs of disabled children including any that have special needs ensuring all are treated equally. There are disabled ramps and handrails at entrances and space in relevant rooms for disabled access. K3M158 Information provided by parents is generally treated confidentially unless there is a duty to pass the information on (e.g., in cases of child abuse or danger to the child). Generally, where other professionals need the information, e.g., for medically treating the child or further learning requirements, permission is needed from parents to determine how and if this information is passed on. Parental consent must also be given before sharing information with other professionals that the child may need to work with. Information generally is kept secure and confidentially as discussed above and made available on a need to know basis with parties. Breach of policies surrounding confidentiality are usually disciplinable offences which are treated seriously. K3P159 Anti-discriminatory practices are legislated against requiring that no child (or even adult) are to be discriminated against whether it be because of their race, religion, disability etc with a requirement to reasonably accommodate such issues to ensure participation. In practice this means ensuring all children have access to activities and facilities that a setting has available – an example in my setting includes having books in different languages, posters that account for different cultural festivals and food made available to reflect different diets (e.g., halal and kosher). Staff and parents should be included in policies and processes relating to anti-discrimination. Furthermore, actions can be taken to ensure discrimination is eliminated by identifying and remedying any discrimination identified in a setting. K3C160 In my setting children are treated and given play equipment relevant to their age, gender, ethnicity and development level. Relationships, communication and behaviour are developed and adapted for different children in different ways. Phrasing of explanations for example is according to age and experience of the child and different toys are provided for girls and boys as are books for those from a different ethnic background (e.g., Arabic or Urdu texts for those from the middle east or subcontinent). Disciplining provides opportunities to reflect on the sensitivity of a child, with each child being treated as an individual and disciplined accordingly. K3D161 There are a number of strategies that you can be adopted to help a child feel welcome and even valued in a setting. It is important to make a child feel welcome in any setting by showing interest in them and communicating with them, for example, greeting them when they come and go for example, asking about their health and what they have been doing at home. Tailoring the setting to accommodate and reflect the individuality of the child is important, for example giving them their own seating space, coat peg or writing book. Encouraging older children to feel welcomed means letting them get involved in decision making for example choosing which program to use on a computer or what film to watch – giving regular praise and recognition is important too. These things help create a welcoming environment for children. K3D162 Child protection is important and a priority in any setting, and children must be treated in a suitable, way at all times, ensuring that no physical or emotional harm is caused to any child. As part of this principle, childcare workers must sit courses to qualify to work with children and ensure they are CRB checked. These ensure that workers can put in place child protection policies, adhere to them in terms of record keeping, identify signs of abuse and raise the alarm with the appropriate bodies concerned if necessary. All concerns are naturally kept strictly confidential on a need to know basis only. Although physical contact is important for developing relationships with younger children it is not advisable or useful with older children as some examples will highlight – hugging a baby is not the same as hugging a thirteen year old or having a young child in your lap is not the same as an older child. Clearly one must act appropriately around different aged children. K3D163 Helping and allowing children to make their own decisions is important and helps both young and older children develop in confidence and self-assurance. As children get older it becomes more important to let them make choices and to help them understand the choices they have available especially in their age ranges and stages of development. Younger children for instance can be asked to choose which game they want to play or what activity they would like to do. Within activities that are directed, a child can be asked which costume they would like to dress up in or what food they would like to cook. By doing this you are giving them the freedom to explore in an activity of their choice. K3D164 Getting a child involved in decision making is important and starting young is quite straightforward. This can be done in play activities for example with younger children and responsibility can be given to older children. By using a dictatorial style, a child can rebel especially if they do not understand why they can’t do some things. How to make decisions is an important skill which every child will learn at some point. By dictating to a child the child is impeded from such decision making. My setting children get children involved in choosing activities they would like to do and making choices within activities whilst staff retain overall control of planning and decision making. 1. Allowing children to choose the snack they would like at breaks and whether they would like milk, orange juice or water. 2. Asking children to choose what role play they would like to undertake and why. 3. Allow children to choose what items they would like to layout for the first activity of the day. K3C165 It is important to negotiate with children according to their age, culture and stage of development as it provides a number of benefits. For instance it encourages positive behaviour, limits, boundaries, patience and trust. For older children they become more independent and confident in their negotiations. Negotiating should develop in the child the sense that you respect their views and are interested in hearing from them. Older children will usually have more complex and elaborate negotiations whereas younger children will negotiate more basic and simpler things like which piece of equipment to have access to. Finally, it is important to adapt style of communication with children in accordance with their age, culture and stage of development. K3D166 In our setting we interact with each child and help them to feel welcome and valued. We recognise each child is an individual and deal with them in accordance to their level of understanding and ability. We communicate with the child at their level giving positive feedback. All children are greeted when they enter and each are given their own coat pegs with their name and they each have their own individual work drawers. We reward their creativity and good behaviour with positive rewards and feedback (badges and stickers for instance) and give them attention especially with those who are the more shy and retiring types. We acknowledge the different strengths and weaknesses and value them all. We encourage self expression through practical activities such as modelling, painting and drawing as well as musical instruments. K3D167 Group needs and individual needs both must be taken into consideration. Sometimes group needs are more important than those of the individual and sometimes vice versa and sometimes a judgement is requirement when both are important. Planning and activities are organised in a flexible way so that all needs can be accommodated. Activities should be planned to ensure needs are met, both group and individual, and should to suit the different needs of each child in the setting and not just the group. Alternative activities should be made available if children do not want to do that activity. K3C168 Communication is important with children especially clear communication. Whether this is through words, facial expressions or even hand gestures what you are trying to communicate is important as how you do it. Children look to you as a role model and learns from you and how you communicate. It is important to make good eye contact with the child, ensure you have their attention, keep communications to the point and use words and phrases appropriate to their level. Being clear ensures they understand what you want and expect from them. Where children are from different ethnic backgrounds, gestures and tone can be important and should be used wisely. K3C169 It is important to listen to children’s ideas and suggestions and to encourage interaction. Children should be encouraged to ask questions as it helps them gain confidence, develop communication and interacting with another in developing their social skills. Furthermore, questions encourage two-way conversation allowing children to use communication skills and increasing confidence and self-esteem. By disregarding children’s ideas this will discourage them from offering suggestions or ideas in the future. Giving reasons for not using a child’s idea is important so that they will offer further ideas in the future. Children can be encouraged to offer ideas and suggestions by asking lots of questions. K3C170 Listening to children is important and children enjoy it when someone listens to them. This applies to both younger and older children and even babies where responses like smiles helps develop a relationship. A child feels they have your attention if you listen actively rather than passively - this can be done through body language, facial expressions, speech or even gestures. Speech is no doubt the most important in showing a child that they have your full attention as it shows you have listened to what they have been saying. However one should be aware of different cultures and how some gestures can be misconstrued in different cultures. K3C171 Your interest in a child’s sayings, questions and actions is important for their confidence and development. They should be encouraged with their questions and ideas You can show you are taking an interest in the child by: • Elaborating what the child said, • Repeating what the child has said, • Asking the child questions • Chatting to the child, • Exhibiting conducive body language. Negative behaviour would show a child that you do not value them or their questions and sayings if you: • Ignore the child’s views, • Walk away from a child whilst they are talking, • If you make negative comments or ignore what is being said. K3C172 Adapting the way that you communicate according to the individual needs of the child is important so that they can understand you and so you can understand them. Children with some hearing loss may benefit from you speaking to them slow and exaggerated lip movements (so that they can lip read). A low noise environment with few distractions will also help. Children with more sever hearing difficulties may need a visual approach such as makaton to help them understand what you are saying. A child with a speech impediment will benefit from talking to you in unhurried situations, without interruptions from you or others. Problems such as speech impediments should be discussed with the parents of that child and if necessary experts, so that the best interests of that child are taken into consideration. When speaking with children of a different language, facial expression, tone of voice and hand gestures can help that child to understand what you are trying to say. In my setting we have some children that speak another language. When speaking to those children I tend to slow my speech down, make gestures with my hands to them and smile. I also try to use some of their language when speaking to them. K3C173 Children need to understand the importance of relationships and different viewpoints. They must understand that other views must be respected and that people have different viewpoints. These notions can be developed by encouraging friendships amongst children and using incidents to highlight appropriate concepts. For instance, if a child swears at another, this can be used to explain to the child that the other child’s feelings have been hurt and how he would feel if the same was done to him. This helps develop positive relationships and such skills develop more quickly as the child grows up, especially around the age of five onwards. Games can be used to encourage development of such skills, both in small and large groups. Another way to get children to develop and understand positive relations is by exemplifying them in adult and worker behaviour. Children find it easy to emulate adults rather than following instructions so this is a good source of instruction. K3D174 Children can be taught about respecting others through encouraging the celebration and importance of diversity and being self-confident. Children should understand that discrimination is unacceptable and harmful and that everyone has good and bad points and the importance of accommodating different strengths and weaknesses. This should be exemplified by adults respecting all individuals regardless of any differences. Teaching different cultures and religions encourages respect of individuality amongst children as does undertaking activities that reinforce such ideas. It is important to acknowledge positive behaviour and respect for one another so the child understands acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour. K3D175 In order to understand the implications of their actions, children should understand and respect feelings of others. This is important as feelings underpin most moral behaviour. To get a child to understand this, it is helpful to make a connection between certain behaviours with emotions, for instance, is the child feeling happy having shared a snack. When a child understand this, he learns to respect other children and develop positive relationships. K3D176 For children to understand rules and limits, it is important to be fair with them. Furthermore their needs to be consistency as without this the child receives conflicting messages and is unlikely to take on board the necessary concepts. One needs to acknowledge both their positive & negative behaviour in a calm manner, so the child understands that whatever his behaviour there is a calm and consistent message for both positive and negative behaviour. It is important to explain the reasons behind any limitation or restriction, whether the child is young or old, but it is more important as a child becomes older. All children enjoy being rewarded and rewards encourage greater positive behaviour. K3D177 Children should be praised for good behaviour and bad behaviour discouraged. Whether the child is young or old, both need such responses to ensure they continue with encouraged behaviour and desist from negative behaviour. It is good practice to introduce rewards for good behaviour, for example badges, sweets or privileges. K3D178 My setting takes into account different behaviours when determining its behaviour policy. Positive behaviour is encouraged and acknowledged whilst negative behaviour is discouraged. Noticing emotive signs like anger, frustration, boredom or tiredness is important as is the response to it, for example, allowing the child some rest time or a nap time. Younger children are told boundaries and limits clearly whilst elder children are involved in the rule making processes. Rules are discussed with new children and existing children are also reminded of some rulers where appropriate. Children are taught to respect rules at all times and negative behaviour is addressed as and when it arises. K3D179 Depending on the conflict and its nature, we often encourage children to address conflict themselves. This helps them to put into practice what they have learned (as discussed above) and try to resolve a matter with someone else. Naturally, if a situation escalates out of control or boundaries are breached (e.g., a child becomes violent) an adult will need to step in to help resolve the situation. Otherwise the conflict can help a child develop confidence, negotiation skills, reasoning abilities and communication skills. K3C180 It is important to encourage children to develop relationships with other adults apart from the main worker who they deal with all the time. Whether this is another worker or a different professional is not important – what is important is that they develop further relationships with adults. If done well it will ensure that a child is not too reliant on one adult and can work well with other adults. A number of styles can be adopted to do this, for instance, a child can be encouraged to ask another adult to help them complete a writing task, or assist them in doing an activity. Behaving well with other adults reflects well on a child who will emulate your behaviour when dealing with other adults too. That’s why it is important to set a good example for the child at all times. K3C181 Working with many adults is inevitable, whether they be colleagues, parents, professionals or other workers. If one has good relationships with these people, one is likely to benefit considerably in doing your job and developing the child. For example, good communication will mean that you will receive important pieces of information in relation to the child and their relationship with the other adult and what they have learnt as part of that relationship. Children will notice how you behave with other adults and emulate you. Furthermore, children will work better if they feel a lack of conflict and tension between adults and feel comfortable in the environment and atmosphere that exists between them. K3P182 In a world of diversity, it is important to recognise it and respect it in relation to positions, views and perspectives different adults may hold. It is important to respect parent’s views and individuality as their different views, perspectives and opinions can contribute towards the welfare and development of the child and the setting. With parents who have different lifestyles, cultures and backgrounds diverse views should be respected, which will in turn make it easier for parents to provide feedback and contribution. One should ensure the team are aware of and understand each parent’s wishes and requirements in relation to each child. It is important to be able to listen well to a parent, their concerns and issues, and manage them well and ensure they are reflected when managing their children where applicable. One should be careful not to jump to conclusions about information provided by parents – for instance, if a parent mentions they have a partner, one should not conclude they are necessarily living together, they are married or they are even the same sex. K3C183 It is important to communicate well with adults so expectations are managed. Incorrect expectations can jeopardize relationships and cause confusion as to what is expected from different people. Respect can be exhibited in a number of ways: • Body language, • Facial expressions, • Conversations, • Written policies and procedures. So for example, a disinterested look whilst a parent is providing information regarding their child can show disrespect. In our setting we make it clear via a written policy that children should be picked up on time and further charges are made for parents who are late – unless this is clear, parents can become under the illusion that it is acceptable to pick up children a little late. K3C184 It is important to make communication appropriate and relevant for adults. The importance of this for children has already been discussed. This can be something as simple as making explanations simple and clear, but for those from different cultures and backgrounds, visual aids or translators may be necessary. One should be aware of cross-cultural differences as abruptness is acceptable in some cultures and disrespectful in others. Patience and sensitivity is important in such situations. K3C185 It is important that our communication is consistent and supportive of the needs of others. Needs can be quickly assessed when communicating with others and communication needs to be adapted accordingly. For instance, with someone with a foreign language, speaking at a slightly slower pace and keeping sentences simple would reflect adaptation in communication to address the need of someone. K3C186 Conflicts naturally occur in any setting, and when they occur with other adults it is important to understand the cause of the conflict. One should avoid protracting the conflict and making it personal – it is more beneficial to attempt to resolve the conflict Conflicts can arise due to stress, office gossip, lack of confidence or poor communication. For instance, if a colleague is struggling with workload, it would help reduce the conflict by helping to reduce the workload. Conflicts should be dealt with quickly and away from the children in any given setting as children can pick up such things and feel upset as a result. ----------------------- [1] Article 8 [2] Article 14