Bullying

Dude, You’ve Got Problems Dude, You’ve Got Problems Amanda Mazuro Baker College English 101 Erin Reume Abstract “Fag” and “gay,” are now the most misinterpreted nicknames that kids are using to taunt other kids within schools today. According to an article in the New York Times, “Dude, You’ve Got Problems,” by Judith Warner, these two names are now among the most potent and feared weapons in the school bully’s arsenal. Warner isn’t saying that the word “fag” doesn’t mean gay. She’s saying that the use of the word has little to do with homophobia and a great deal to do with sexism, with keeping boys in line by accusing them of being like girls. For example, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover is an 11 year old boy who liked to do very well in school. Because of that, he was hounded by classmates that were calling him “gay” which lead him to hang himself (Warner, 2009, para.1). Another example is Eric Mohat, a 17 year-old boy that likes theatre, playing the piano, and wore bright colored clothes. Because of his interests, he had long been subject to taunts of “gay,” “queer,” and “homo” (Warner, 2009, para.2). Being called a “fag” actually has nothing to do with being gay. It’s really about showing a perceived weakness of femininity by being emotional, caring to much about clothing and appearance, enjoying dance, or even having an interest in literature. I find this aggravating. I am sure that everyone once in their life has been bullied or picked on. I cannot comprehend why a bully would want to push the accused “fag” to hate themselves so much to commit suicide. I do give much of the blame to parents who are oblivious to their children’s feelings or how they act towards one another. I believe parents who lack decent parenting skills resort to aggression. This can cause children to have built up aggression and frustration themselves, lead by example, and take it out on their peers. According to the article, “It seems it all comes down, as do many things for today’s parents, to status” (Warner, 2009, Para. 15). Parents want their kids to have what they didn’t when they were growing up. I think parents are too worried about their child being liked that they miss the signs of what their children really want. This can cause frustration for children and can damage their self confidence. According to Malina Saval, she wrote the book “The Secret Lives of Boys,” parents played a key role in gender stereotypes, at least for boys. “There were a few parents who were sort of alarmed about whether or not their children were going to be gay because of their music choices and the clothes they wore” (Sava, 2009). I am appalled by this statement. What happened to loving your children unconditionally' This article was about girls as well as boys. There is so much highly sexualized identity that girls think they have to live up to because of today’s pop culture. “There’s a degree to which girls, despite all their advantages, appear to be stuck- voluntarily- in a time warp, too, or at least to be walking a very fine line between progress and utter aggression” (Warner, 2009, para.7). I see girls that are 12 years-old with makeup on and very revealing clothes. Whatever happened to girls wanting to jump rope' Or even pillow fights and watching chick-flicks' Today, it seems that all they want to do is talk on their cell phones and have boyfriends. I feel that if we want to start controlling the situation of bullying that parents need to step up and get more involved in their children’s lives. I think that the media and the parents, along with the Hollywood idols, need to start making a point to be nice to one another and making good examples for our future generations. I’m even talking about the genres of music that are popular today. They are degrading and disrespectful, especially to girls. The foul language that is used needs to be known that it is wrong. In conclusion, instead of everybody acting like we cannot prevent bullying because it’s inevitable, we need to acknowledge the behavioral signs of our children and take what they have to say seriously. If we don’t, who will' References Dude, You’ve Got Problems. (2009). Judith Warner. Retrieved from http://www.NYTimes.com The Secret Lives of Boys. (2009) Malina Saval