Benedick's_Soliloquy

After speaking to Beatrice how do you think Benedick feels' Beatrice again! She hath absolutely, positively now officially gone too far. To think that she assumes that I, Signior Benedick would honestly wear a coxcomb! Silly girl. Dost Beatrice have no shame' Nay. God forbid she'd actually be introverted once in a while. And she speaks as though it is DIRE for her to insult me. Many may not be able to see past her beauteous face, but I can. I see her hunger, her thirst to humiliate me. This WAR that Beatrice and I have going will ne'er be o'er. Aye. Why does she constantly have to mock me' Thy ridiculous girl just goes too far. It wouldst be impossible for her to stop. Tis like second nature to her. T'will kill her to cease. Methinks she's an idiot. An evil…AHH! No words can describe her. She may have a sexy tush, but her overused mouth is far from it. She continually calls me a fool but thou is thrice the fool that I am! Continue the Argument….. Beatrice: I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick, nobody marks you. Benedick: What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living' Beatrice: Yes, yes. Living well, in fact. Though you do make it hard… Benedick: Oh dear Beatrice, still have that quick, sharp tongue of yours do we' Beatrice: Oh yes. Like me, it's still alive and well. Thanks to you of course it gets quite a bit of exercise. Oh Signior, you've aged terribly. What has it been 11, 12 years' It shows… Benedick: Very funny my lady and it's only been 3. Well you're still alive, that's a good thing….ideally. Beatrice: Signior I'm surprised you haven't started bragging about your war experiences, from what I've heard you can tell quite the tall tales. Benedick: It's no wonder you are not wed yet Beatrice. I'd eat you alive if you were my wife. How could one stand to live with you' I worship Governor Leonato. Beatrice: Worshipping others now are we Seignior Benedick' That's quite a shock. I never thought we'd see the day that our beloved war hero here would admire anybody but himself. Well fancy that. We've made history. Benedick: Beatrice Beatrice Beatrice. Do you do this for a living' Mock people' Or should I consider myself privileged' Beatrice: Consider yourself privileged Signior, as you are the only one I consider that foolish to the point that I think you are the only one that deserves to be as mocked as you are. Benedick: Whatever makes you sleep at night sweet, sweet Beatrice. Beatrice: Oh indeed it does. In a deep slumber of a lady who's able to show everybody the imbecile that you really are Benedick.