Belonging

“A sense of belonging is important to everyone” An individual’s constant urge for a sense of acceptance and belonging is a shared view by many afar. The extent to which individual’s strive to be recognised, to replenish the void that forever remains. This is apparent in Raimond Gaita’s memoir, ‘Romulus, My Father’ where he outlines the life of father, and his personal quest for respect which he latter distinguishes as acceptance. Similarly, the persona’s obsession for both her daughter and herself to be accepted as part of the community is explored in Alma Aldrette’s, ‘The Black Skirt’. Furthermore, belonging is evident in the 2006 film, ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ directed by Gabriele Muccino which is based on the accurate anecdote of Chris Gardner – whom battle through homelessness and persisted attempting to establish himself in the stockbroking market, thus eventually discovering an association with his fellow colleagues. The two texts and the inclusive film, portray an individual’s desire to belonging. It is this desire that drives us to associate ourselves with those around us. Filial relationship is a stepping stone where an individual can learn the genuine meaning ‘to belong’. The sense of attachment with particular family members or the family in general can determine whether an individual can correlate elsewhere. In Raimond Gaita’s memoir there is a clear indication of filial relations between Raimond and his father, Romulus. It is initially evident in the title of the memoir where the use of a personal pronoun, ‘my’, affiliates Gaita with his father whom he continuously juxtaposes to the likes of a biblical prophet or saint. “Romulus, My Father”, ‘My, Father’, in the context of Catholicism relates to the high priest and as we know, Romulus is a figure whose actions depict that of his moral code, embedded at a young age. His moral convictions and values, at times, throughout the memoir, distance himself from Raimond as he does not share those similar beliefs. Despite this, the pair share a profound sense of belonging, revealed to us by Gaita in the latter portion of the memoir. “I loved him too deeply and knew that after what we had shared at Frogmore, no quarrel could estrange us” Recognising their love for one another, Gaita’s personal dialogue, briefly highlights the mere reality, that even through harsh times they are inseparable. He reflects on the history between the two relating their joint experiences of Gaita’s childhood. “..after what we had shared at Frogmore.” Shared hardships and battles can strengthen a relationship as they feel a sense of connection to those involved, as those who experienced it can only relate to. Thus relating to its latter point, “no quarrel could estrange us”. As a result, Gaita refers to their bond as inseparable, their experience only strengthening this connection. Similarly, Gabriele Muccino also explores the importance of belonging in his film, ‘The Pursuit of Happyness,” through the filial affiliation between ‘Chris Gardner’ and his son, ‘Christopher’. Muccino, even though based on a factual anecdote, the resemblance of their names already is suggestive of affiliation between one another. Furthermore, from viewing the theatrical release poster and the opening minutes of the film, there is a distinct link of filial belonging between father and son. This is confirmed through the visual imagery of the pair holding or linking hands suggestive of a partnership, or in this circumstance a sense of attachment. It sets the theme of filial relations throughout the entity of the film. It would seem that through an individual’s desires, relationships can exist with family ties and is a bases of a strong bond in which they can share. It is evident in both ‘Romulus, My Father’ and ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ which correspondingly surround the bases of belonging and affiliation through filial ties. Through experience, whether personal, social and historical events, the attachment to that specific individual grows with the similarities they identify together. However, an individual’s desire to belong can be affected by surrounding circumstances – barriers which prevent belonging. Circumstances in which, at times, cannot be overcomed. Through Alma Aldrette’s, ‘The Black Skirt’ this realisation becomes apparent for the persona as she struggles to associate herself within the greater community, failing to overcome her, self pride. “She was too proud to apply for American citizenship.” Being of Mexican descent, Mrs Castellanos through self pride, never entirely felt the sense of belonging or association to her neighbours and the broader community. Though, ironically she still experienced affiliation through her visual appearance and similarity with outsiders.