Anger_Management

Jackson Wheat December 7, 2010 Final Project Final Project Throughout this semester we have learned various ways of controlling our anger, and also ways to resolve conflict in the correct manner. For our final project we were assigned to demonstrate a role-play with a partner. The scenario that I chose to demonstrate was a situation in which two men, Eric and Jackson, lived in the same house and one roommate was not doing his part of cleaning up the house. I confronted Eric about this situation one afternoon when we were sitting on the couch watching television. He was a bit defensive in the beginning, but I managed to clarify what he wanted and was able to develop a plan of action to take care of this problem. I made sure and restated the things that he was stating to make sure I took all of his concerns into consideration. We managed to come to an agreement on each paying more attention to keeping the house clean, and that every Sunday afternoon we could get together and both clean the house and it would go by much faster and easier with two of us working on it at once. I think the reason this conflict was resolved so easily is because of the environment that I brought up the issue in. We were both in a very comfortable setting in our own house and there was no tension. There were many strategies that were used in solving this issue. The ABC method was a major help in resolving this conflict. I established trust in my roommate by talking to him about this issue while sitting on our couch in a very casual setting. I also made sure and boiled down the issues and clearly stated what the problem was and offered suggestions to solving them as well as listening and asking him what his suggestions were to fixing this issue. I also took in to consideration his concerns or worries and asked him several times if this was what he was okay with and so on. After talking with him for a while we were both able to develop a game plan and come to an agreement to each do a better job of cleaning the house, and getting together each Sunday and cleaning the house as a team instead of doing it all by ourselves. I was also conscience of my language during our conversation making sure not to attack Eric and to use neutral language. I also made sure and kept my cool whenever Eric would get a little upset with something I was suggesting. Each party had different interests in the beginning, but in the end there was a common goal established and a way to accomplish it was born. Eric had the goal of continuing to be lazy and not pick up after himself. I had the goal of blaming it all on Eric and wanting to tell him to start picking up after himself or there were going to be physical repercussions if this problem was not fixed immediately. In the end both parties had the common goal of both wanting the house to be clean and agreeing that both of us should pitch in and do our part and the house would be much easier to keep clean and much more enjoyable to live in. Breathing was also another factor that greatly helped me solve this conflict. I did not let my emotions get the best of me by getting angry at the things he was stating, but instead kept an open mind to everything he was stating. I was also not looking for an opportunity to win the argument or jump onto Eric about something that he had said. There were times in which I wanted to get mad and raise my voice but I was able to keep composure and continue to conversation in a normal manner. During this role-play there were many points in which I could have easily exploded and lost my cool and totally blown up on Eric. By keeping my cool and staying calm we were able to come to an agreement and resolve the issue that was giving us problems. By solving this issue there will no longer be tension when things are not clean. The issue will already have a way to fix it. This makes living with Eric much more enjoyable because we are both aware of the issue and keep the other person in mind when things begin to get messy and out of hand. There are times in which your body takes over in a way when a person gets very angry. It is during these times that one must learn healthy ways to control their anger and channel it in a positive way instead of getting very angry and taking physical means into play. Breathing is a good technique that has seemed to do a lot for me when I begin to get angered. When you do not breathe it seems as though you begin to get more angered because there is no oxygen flowing. Another very effective anger technique is taking a time out. When two parties get angry at each other it begins to get out of hand. It is then that a time out needs to be taken. Sometimes a time out can be a whole day, or until both parties have settled down and are going to be able to talk about the issue in a calm manner. When both parties are arguing and yelling back and forth at each other it is not going to do anything but cause an even bigger fight. It is like pouring gasoline on a fire. This role-play helped put all of the techniques that we have learned over the semester into play. It is easy to sit there and learn about these techniques and ways to solve conflicts, but being able to put them into perspective makes it seem much more realistic and gives a better understanding of what techniques work with different types of people.