An_Essay_Regarding_the_Plot_Point_Failures_of_Battle__Los_Angeles_and_an_Offering_of_a_Plot_Outline_Suitable_for_the_Genre

An Essay Regarding The Plot Point Failures Of Battle:Los Angeles And An Offering Of A Plot Outline Suitable For The Genre "But who shall dwell in these worlds if they be inhabited' . . . Are we or they Lords of the World' . . . And how are all things made for man'-- Kepler (quoted in The Anatomy of Melancholy) What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! ......and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust' ...man delights not me..." William Shakespeare, "Hamlet" It goes without saying that a "spoiler alert" has been issued…although you don't need one. Battle:Los Angeles is every bit as predictable and unoriginal as you would expect it to be. If I wasn't always on the hunt for a breakout "sci-fi" or "end-of-the-world" movie, I never would have given seeing this a second thought…luckily, the financial toll was a mere $0.99 as Dish Network was running an Independence Day special…but, the biggest kick in the balls…it cost me two hours of my life…which at first I wanted back….but…actually…I'm grateful…as it inspired me to write this…shall we say…essay' Rather than go back through a retelling of Battle:Los Angeles (which would be incredibly painful), I have decided instead to address plot point failures while at the same time provide a satisfactory and plausible plot for this genre of movie. I need to point out that I am not necessarily isolating Battle:Los Angeles...Spielberg's remake of War Of The Worlds was equally horrendous…and there are countless multitudes of others, but for the purposes of this essay (let's just call it an essay), I will focus on Battle:Los Angeles which, from here on, will be referred to as B:LA. Now in the famous words of Bilbo Baggins… "Where to begin…ahh, yes…" CONCERNING ALIENS To begin with, it should be understood that physical contact with ANY intelligent, anthropomorphic alien life form is a near impossibility. The sheer, unfathomable distances between star systems all but slam the door on that potential encounter. But, assuming that it is possible (and of course in film, we are instructed to voluntarily suspend our disbelief), we would first need to examine the likely intelligence of an extra-terrestrial visitor…let alone a militarized and colonizing alien force…. First, their technology would outstrip our own by a more than noteworthy amount…simply because they would have figured out how to travel at supra-light speeds. A faster-than-light capability would be the only way to cover the distances to and from extra-solar star systems…at least in a plausible timeframe. If you don't believe me, read a first-year astronomy textbook. And, by the way…traveling at speeds faster than light' I believe Einstein has something to say about that…but, I digress…as we have greenlit that possibility. Secondly, advanced technology is conceived by an advanced intelligence…an intelligence far superior to that of Homo sapiens sapiens…at least at this time…otherwise we would be taking space cruises to Alpha Centauri on a regular basis. And lastly, if humans wanted to determinedly wipe out all chimpanzees on the planet, we could do so quickly and quite efficiently with little to no losses to our attacking forces. In fact, I believe any losses we incurred would be by our own hand in the form of accidents. In a scenario where aliens assault the Earth, we are the chimpanzees... Now we begin the plot dissection of B:LA.... While the idea of disguising the alien assault force as a meteor shower is an entertaining one, it is not a plausible one. Give our astronomers and analysts a little bit of credit here. The "meteor" theory would be quickly debunked. Besides, there would be no need to disguise themselves at all. Don't humans have ways of making themselves undetectable to current technologies' The F-117 fighter and B-2 bomber immediately spring to mind. ( here's a wiki-link to stealth technology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stealth_technology ) Those aircraft utilize a rather crude form of stealth technology to make themselves nearly invisible to modern radar. I say crude because it would be crude when compared to an attacking alien force of a more advanced technological nature. Therefore, plot point #1...destroyed. If an alien culture really wanted to conquer the Earth and wipeout all indigenous resistance, they would begin by sending a reconnaissance party…which would advance undetected by some form of stealth or cloaking technology. They would more than likely set up in a lunar-synchronous orbit on the far side of the Moon (an extra precaution to avoid detection) and begin monitoring all forms of electromagnetic communications coming from our planet including but not limited to television and radio broadcasts, wireless communications, encrypted military communications, etc. They would probably send scouting probes to Earth (again cloaked in stealth technology) to gather intelligence on resources, environmental conditions, biodiversity (and their respective populations), potential resistance, communication centers, military strengths/weaknesses, etc. After gathering all of the necessary intelligence, the aliens would run the numbers to determine whether or not an attack would be to their advantage. If they were to decide to attack/colonize, the decision would be made very quickly to wipe out ALL humans as they are the only real threat of resistance…and, as anyone who has ever played the Parker Brothers strategic board game "Risk" knows, if you intend to attack and conquer (especially a defending, indigenous population), you had better have numbers on your side. Absolute minimum would be a 3:1 attacker/defender ratio…to attack and completely annihilate defending forces a minimum of 6:1 is required. Even with advanced technology, it is always better to err on the side of caution and, in this case, that would be SHEER OVERWHELMING NUMBERS. Aliens are not going to invest in an assault and make the trip unless absolute victory is guaranteed. Otherwise, what's the point' Here is where B:LA's plot point failure #2 is revealed. The aliens sent an embarrassingly insufficient assault force to Earth. Now, onto the attack…. B:LA has so many tactical flaws, it is hard to know where to begin. In B:LA, the aliens began their assault with ground forces. Bad idea…especially if you have an advanced air force…which addresses plot point failure #3: obtain complete air superiority first. Now, in my scenario, the aliens would set up a staging area…again on the far side of the Moon. Once staged, they would send an initial attack force to move into orbit around the Earth (in stealth mode, of course). The primary mission of this first wave would be the complete annihilation of all communications systems (within reason…the rest comes in a later phase of the assault). This would begin with one-third of the assault force initiating a simultaneous assault on EVERY satellite in orbit. At the same time, the second third would launch an orbital barrage on ALL ground-based communication structures (dishes, towers, internet hubs, etc.) with some form of guided ordinance…with an advanced alien force, this may include exotic weapons like lasers, phased plasma pulse cannons, etc. (let your imagination run wild). If you can think of it, an attacking alien force will have weapons that make your imaginary weapons obsolete….remember, we're talking about world domination by evil aliens…the remaining third (in concert with the other two-thirds) would launch an orbital assault on all identified ground military installations, harbors, training facilities, airfields, missile silos, etc. worldwide. The entire initial assault should take less than one hour with a success ratio close to 95%…mostly due to achieving the tactical imperative of complete surprise. The second phase of the attack would begin with a re-arming of the orbital assault force while a massive air campaign is initiated. Also during this phase, resupply craft would move into low, geosynchronous orbit. In B:LA, the aliens used drones…good idea…controlled by vulnerable, ground-based communication centers…dumb idea…and an unnecessary one. B:LA plot point #4…DENIED…Keep your com centers in low orbit and protect the shit out of them. Also, aliens using water as fuel = interesting. Ocean levels dropping within a day = stupid and unrealistic. Does anyone have any idea how much water removal it would take to drop ocean levels 1 centimeter' Apparently, not the writers of B:LA…plot point # 5 = REJECTED. In my scenario, Phase Two would also include discrete, specialized, ground teams landing on the surface and setting up advanced and extremely powerful electromagnetic pulse generators (EMPGs). These alien EMPGs would be pre-programmed to generate continuous pulses effectively disabling individual/portable communication devices (cell phones, radios), targeting devices, vehicles, etc….as these would not be realistically targeted by the orbital bombardment teams. Alien technology would remain unaffected by EMPG pulses due to advanced frequency shielding…makes sense since they designed and built the EMPGs (it is worth mentioning here that since aliens have developed supra-light speed technology, their communications would undoubtably occur in sub-space frequencies) . In B:LA, the alien drones could identify electromagnetic sources, but not disrupt them. What' That seems stupid…plot point failure #6. The B:LA alien attack forces landed offshore and then advanced onto land. Military intelligence already knew that these were "unfriendly" aliens. So, my question is: why didn't the military utilize their vast nuclear arsenals right off the bat' If you are going to tell me it was because of fear of civilian losses, I am inclined to believe you given the poor writing of this film…but, realistically…that is tactically ridiculous…which leads me to the premise behind plot point failure #7: saving everybody. The humans utilized well-trained, ground-assault forces (in B:LA, this was a USMC Infantry unit) to rescue handfuls of trapped civilians. In actual real-world battlefield scenarios, this is not believable…therefore, it goes without saying…in a scenario where a species is fighting for its very survival, it is pretentious, preachy and outright DUMB. Sorry, but even in modern warfare, it is often a numbers game. Casualties of war, collateral damage, acceptable losses…these are all terms used by today's combat leadership. Moving through hostile territories with civilians…especially children…is exceedingly dangerous and tactically stupid (I can feel all of the parents out there stiffening your necks and folding your arms in disapproval…sorry, but it's the truth). Remember the sniper scene from the epic war classic, Saving Private Ryan' Private Caparzo (Vin Diesel) is fatally shot while trying to rescue a little girl…in defiance of a direct order not to do so. At the conclusion of that scene, as the unit stood around the dead Caparzo, Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) angrily reminds everyone, "That's why we can't take children." It may be ugly, it may be unfair, it may anger you…but that is war. Decisions are made for the greater good. You cannot risk valuable military assets for tactically insignificant goals or activities. The more trained personnel are lost, the more likely the battle…and, eventually, the war…will be lost. Plain and simple, cut and dried. Moving on… In my scenario, an alien ground assault would commence only when total air superiority had been achieved. Phase Three would begin with MASSIVE ground force deployments worldwide (again, a minimum 6:1 alien/human ratio). Most military/resistance forces/large population centers would be subdued and destroyed during Phase Two, so the third phase is mainly a mop-up operation. All remaining military targets are eliminated. Specialized "sniffer" drones would scour the planet with a variety of sensors to "ferret out" survivors and mechanized ground assault units would eliminate every last human being. The final phase of any alien colonization/planetary assault would be either the habitation of the planet or the harvesting of all valued resources ending in the full withdrawal of all alien forces back to their homeworld. To all screenwriters attempting to write the ultimate, epic, alien occupation/annihilation, end-of-the-world screenplay, I humbly beseech you…don't dick around…please…just once I want to see a writer/filmmaker with the balls to make a movie in this genre that doesn't get wrapped up with a pretty bow at the end. Don't give us another boring, formulaic, feel-good, piece-of-shit "disaster" movie where humans win again and everything turns out fine. It is unrealistic and trite…and dangerous...as it re-enforces bad programming and negative behavior. Just once, I want to see a film where the aliens exterminate the entire human race. Just once, I want to see a remake of War Of The Worlds where Dakota Fanning peers over the edge of the hill and stares in horror as the Tripods finish off our species. Challenge us, offend us, even anger us, but don't patronize or placate us…and, please, I beg you, don't pitch us platitudes that attempt to stroke our collective egos. We are a cocky, self-indulgent, arrogant species that has made a habit out of abusing our planet and each other in the cause of convenience, luxury and status. It would do us some good every now and again to see a morally challenging movie that knocks us down a peg or two and reminds us that despite all our glorified advancements we are still only super-chimpanzees crapping in our own front yards....and despite how safe and relevant we try to make ourselves feel...it is just as likely that dark, demonic, dangers lurk among the stars as finger-glowing, friendly, fans of humanity....in fact, the odds are in favor of the former... "Yet across the gulf of space...intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic...regarded this Earth with envious eyes...and slowly and surely drew their plans against us.... ...and we men, the creatures who inhabit this Earth, must be to them at least as alien and lowly as are the monkeys and lemurs to us. The intellectual side of man already admits that life is an incessant struggle for existence, and it would seem that this too is the belief of the minds upon Mars. Their world is far gone in its cooling and this world is still crowded with life....crowded only with what they regard as inferior animals. To carry warfare sunward is, indeed, their only escape from the destruction that...generation after generation...creeps upon them...." H.G. Wells, The War Of The Worlds Yeah, the movie I'm talking about won't be a "summer blockbuster" and it probably won't gross $700,000,000.00…but then again, you never know…our self-destructive species possesses an insatiable appetite for catastrophe and tragedy...the nightly news will attest to that…so, the numbers may turn out better than you think…but, seriously…FUCK THE NUMBERS…you may just end up writing the next 1984, Brave New World, or Fahrenheit 451. I will leave you with a selection of dialogue from Peter Jackson's adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers…. Samwise Gamgee: "...it's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered…full of darkness and danger, they were…and sometimes, you didn't want to know the end…because how could the end be happy'…how could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened'…those were the stories that stayed with you…that meant something…even if you were too small to understand why..."