Ambivalence_About_the_Future

Korean writer Hwang Sun-won and Chinese writers Lu Xun and Ding Ling portray characters that express ambivalence about the future. Chuang-sheng, Zhenzhen and Pak Hun have hidden feelings of uncertainty regarding the present and constant nostalgia for their past. They seem to create distractions to re-direct their attention away from the source of their anxieties, for example, both Chuag-sheng and Pak Hun fears the loss of openness to life and growth while Zhenzhen fears her loss of self and the resistance she faces to becoming her own self. In “Regret for the Past”, Chuang Sheng’s ambivalence about the future is shown through Lu Xun’s interpretation of the socio-economic plight of a couple trying to live a new life in a world of twentieth century capitalism, characterized by male domination, exploitation and abuse. Comparatively, Chuang Sheng is the character that feels most ambivalent about his future when compared to the extent to which both Zhenzhen and Pak Hun feel ambivalent about their own lives to come. For Chuang Sheng, preoccupations begin as soon as he finds out about his discharge. “First we gazed at each other in silence, then started discussing what to do. Finally we decided to live as economically as possible on the money we had (pp 110-111). The way Tzu-Chun reacted to the problems at the time made Chuang Sheng more hesitant about the future. Things were changing, as seen in Lu Xun’s description of Tzu-Chun as a fearless woman that had never been into cooking as was expected of most women at the time. Tzu-Chun grew weaker and Chuang Sheng’s life changes while his old existing self is contested by a new life next to Tzu Chun. From knowing that “she loved me so truly and passionately” (p. 106), to thinking of how to tell her that he was no longer in love with her, to recalling how conscious they were of one another’s fortitude and strength, and “able to see new hope growing from this fresh beginning” (p. 111). Even though Chuang Sheng regrets his old existing self, he is still unsure about a new beginning would imply. “In the office I had lied like a wild bird in a cage…as time passed it would lose the use of its wings, so that if ever it were let out of the cage it could no longer fly. Now, at any rate, I had got out of the cage, and must soar anew in the wide sky before it was too late, while I could still flap my wings.” This is a telling metaphor of Chuang Sheng feeling trapped in the old, ready to change but unsure about it. Ambivalence gets to him in realizing that his place in the universe “was only somewhere between the dogs and the hens” (p.113). His notes exemplify conflicting views about the future as he regrets his past and thinks about a new life that he seeks for. There is a constant repetition of being open and feeling free like a bird, which shows how much effort Chuang Sheng puts into thinking about his future. “Still, if I could only get away from all this, there were plenty of ways open to me” (p. 115). “But where could I go'” As he questions what will happen next, he knows that “there must be a way out for those who struggle, and I hadn’t yet forgotten how to flap my wings, though I was much weaker than before…” (p. 116) “But there was a constant look of fear in her eyes too. . . “ (p. 117) His fear contradicts his unwillingness to forget how to fly, how to be free. His constant thoughts about hope lead to parting from Tzu Chun to make a fresh start, to “turn over a new leaf, to avoid being ruined together” (p. 119) and again he alludes to the many ways open to him, and his new path ahead, where he could “glimpse a way out of this heavy oppression” (p. 122) Perhaps the most powerful part of Chuang Sheng’s doubts appears when he says “I conjured up a picture of my future as I lay with closed eyes, but before the night was half over it had vanished . . . as soon as I took a grip on myself, there was nothing there.” (p. 122) He “was waiting for something new, something nameless and unexpected. But day after day passed in the same deadly quiet” (p. 124). This exemplifies Chuang Sheng’s conflicting views of a new life, rejecting the old, but he felt ambivalence because this something that was new had no name, he could not pinpoint exactly what he wanted his new self to be. At such times, Chuang Sheng felt flashes of nameless, unexpected, new hope where again, he ends his notes alluding to the many ways in which he can open himself: “I must take one of them because I am still living. I don’t know, though, how to take the first step. Sometimes the road seems like a great, grey serpent, writing and darting at me. I wait and wait and watch it approach, but it always disappears suddenly in the darkness” (p. 126). This is even more demonstrative of Chuang Sheng’s feelings about the future. Perhaps what a lot of Chinese intellectuals felt, to “make a fresh start in life by hiding the truth and advancing silently. Lu Xun’s story draws attention to a largely neglected feature of the revolutionary process: the mass mobilization of emotions. Building upon pre-existing conventions of popular protest and political culture, the Communists systematized emotion work as part of a conscious strategy to express what they felt. The way this couple breaks with conventional life in China by moving in together, reveals, even through the introductory line, "I want, if I can, to record my remorse and grief..." an environment of negative sentiments that come back towards the end of the story. Breaking with the conventional in Chinese society is Chuang Sheng’s way of rejecting the old, but the way Lu Xun portrays their lives shows how society does not approve of their actions. Chuang Sheng speaks repeatedly of wanting a "fresh start" in life, and that the only "hope" to obtain it at this point "lay in parting." He hopes to end his relationship to reinsert himself into society. But he has difficulty doing so. Though Regret for the Past is primarily characterized as a simple love story gone wrong, its content is much more complex than that, dealing with issues ranging from the simple struggle of every day life in China, to subtle feminism, and, of course, the way in which we treat those closest to us. From the very first lines Chuang Sheng feels a great deal of grief, his romance begins as pure and genuine, but he becomes unhappy and feels that a man must make a living before there can be any place to love. The only means available to facilitate such a change is a negotiation between the two worldviews and the construction of a liberal Chinese intellectual who can address the issues unique to China In the title of his story, the “Regret” mentioned is meant as a regret that belongs in the past.  This shows that Chuang Sheng struggles forget the events he describes and that by writing he is practicing a form of escapism from reality. Moreover, it demonstrates to us that he will fail to learn from his mistakes. Instead he will continue to blame Tzu Chun for hindering his ability to live freely, failing to realize that her death was perhaps a product of his own actions. Chuan Sheng deceives himself and by leaving his past behind he cannot grow spiritually or intellectually.  Rather than starting forward again on a pursuit for truth, he moves back to the person he was originally; thus, Chuan Sheng remains idle in a society he claims to detest.  Similar to Chuang Sheng, Zhenzhen in “When I was in Xia Village” is portrayed by Ding Ling as ambivalent about her future, yet more hopeful than pessimistic about her past and desire for a new life. Zhenzhen rejects the old as well, yet the way Ding Ling describes Zhenzhen’s eyes shows that she is looking for a better future, “even though her eyes were in deep shadow, her pupils shone brightly in the light of the lamp and the fire. They were like two open windows in a summer home in the country, clear and clean (p. 141). Here, the windows seem to be a metaphor for freedom, for a new life. The narrator describes Zhenzhen as a girl who “had never expressed any hope that a man would marry . . . or comfort her . . . she seemed not to want anything from anyone. . . (p. 148) This is shown when Zhenzhen thinks about her future. She decides that she should leave, but is still unsure about what will be of her. “Just staying at home doesn’t have anything to offer, does it'’ (p. 154) Zhenzhen knows that she must forget about her conventional past and start a new life, yet she is still afraid of where she will end up. “…I’m unclean, and with such a black mark I don’t expect any good fortune to come my way. I feel that living among strangers and keeping busy would be better than living at home where people know me” (p. 155) Even her disease seems like a way out of her conventional life next to her parents. Away from home, she thinks about being that powerful woman active and interested in studying, attending a school that anyone can go to and doing this for her own self “and for the others” (p. 155) She doesn’t feel the need to apologize, nor does she feel especially happy, which is demonstrative of her ambivalence. Although she wants to be thought of as fearless, she is still unsure given her suffering. All she knows is that she “will be able to start life fresh. “A person’s life is not just for one’s father and mother, or even for oneself” (p. 156) tells the reader of Zhenzhen’s personality in her plea to make a difference. She rejects convention and aims towards becoming a free girl, libertine, moving away from convention adhering to rules set by her parents. She wants a change for society and is determined to acquire it; yet ambivalence is still present within her even though others seem to see the “bright future that Zhenzhen had before her” (p. 156), which is what makes modern life a hopeful improvement in her life, yet a mysterious one. for the reader is left to wonder whether this new life will be unjust. Compared to Lu Xun, Ding Ling focuses more on Zhenzhen as a strong woman and defines her character abroad, coming home and ready to make a difference, to describe her commitment. Ding Ling writes about the ways in which the Chinese were trying to reform their own society and how they construct upon it to make sense of the past, “reject the old” in convention and construct something new. The way Zhenzhen thinks about her past expresses some ambiguity about what her life would be if she stayed home. The negativity expressed in “Regret for the Past” is quite different than “…the bright future that Zhenzhen had before her” (p.156). Ambivalence about the future will always exist, as human beings are constantly questioning what will happen next; thus feeling uncertainty and unable to make choices by a desire to make decision is something all human beings face to some extent. "When I Was in Xia Village" turns out to be both a nostalgic posture and an ominous outlook indicating the end of an age of innocence in Chinese society. Zhenzhen will go to another city for medical treatment and rehabilitation. But with all her inglorious past, as a raped woman and a Japanese army prostitute, will Zhenzhen be treated fairly, will this new life be fair' One wonders whether Zhenzhen's disease can really be cured. Zhenzhen's natural, healthy look is, after all, hiding a body that is rapidly deteriorating. The contrast between how Zhenzhen looks and feels is indicative of a reality or realism that turns against itself. Zhenzhen's free spirit seen in her opposition to a prearranged marriage should be treated as a virtue in the new society. The old was rejected to make this cirtue a new reality; nevertheless, Zhenzhen did not go unpunished. Pak-Hun in “Descendants of Cain” is portrayed by Hwuang Sun-Won as a man who has a real obsession with the past. “Hun remembered a scene from his childhood . . .and his fear had melted in the warm coziness” (pp.13-14). At first glance, this may seem like a moment of regression, but it can also mean as more typical of this character. Pak-Hun, even though indecisive, takes action in his dreams and retrieves to the past while he tries to escape it as well. As landlord, he should help his people, but dreams instead. Pak Hun is constantly retrieving from reality and is constructing a very idealized past, which creates a double remove from his reality. Although Pak Hun is not portrayed as the usual evil landlord, Hwan Sun portrays the dangers he faces due to his indecision. Korea under colonialism is part of the past. The narrator occasionally alludes to difficulties of living under Japanese colonialism and it is from Pak Hun’s “anger bordering on a certain sorrow” that one can notice his indecisive nature and conflicting views about the future. Eternally hesitant and ineffectual, though full of proper sentiments, Hun is placed in extremes of political and social turmoil, where not to act is not to survive. Through it all, he maintains his hesitant and soberly human voice, which evokes longing. The voice of Pak Hun as an intelligent yet uncertain character tells of the historical victimization of individuals. Pak Hun was a passive victim of the tragic history of Korea. But he seems to be more simply deprived of the will to act, locked in an almost unconscious desire and hopelessness even in his feelings for the woman he cares for. Nevertheless, his vulnerability masks his obscured compassion for others. “Hun. . .kept trying to figure out something, but it was all a muddle and a confusion. All he could do was repeat the word ‘misunderstanding’ over and over again” (p. 105). The novel spills hints of Huns’ deepest feelings not through personal revelations from Hun himself, but through accounts of dreams or memories upon which his gaze concentrates. “Coming from far away, from a long forgotten dream . . . frightened he burrowed into his mother’s arms. What a warm and cozy haven! He wasn’t afraid anymore” (p. 92). These passages show Hun’s complex thoughts and emotions that although remain mysterious are not overtly exposed. Hun is portrayed as a man in constant grief. We see him many times at the clearing, which encloses the family tombs, a literal retreat from life. To Pak Hun, “the world seemed to swim before him, but the doctor had told him his heart was fine. He smiled despite himself. What shall be, shall be, he thought” (p. 92) “How come he couldn’t confront his emotions honestly and make a definite choice' Hun knew he was a coward. But he also knew he could be nothing else” (p. 119-120). Hun’s admirable awareness for other people’s suffering is made less worthy because it contains a fear of violence. Hun must walk a difficult moral path that is mapped on a single page that describes his dreams.