A_Cycle_of_Time

ALP A Cycle of Time John Doe Final Learning Paper EX-PY 201 Adult Development and Life Assessment Instructor: XXXXXXXXX February 20, 2012 High School Graduation, a life changing time. The willingness to accept failure or success while standing with my peers is a very distinct feeling. I am grateful that I chose the correct path. I am sure of one thing, that without determination, independence, and self confidence I would not be where I am at today. My carelessness and rebel attitude was almost a recipe for disaster. Although High School was good, my perspective on the experience and the experiences that I have had since then are my inspirations for the way I am leading my life, present day. Way back in the 80s when I started to make some sort of grand plan for the future is where this experience begins. It was a fine day indeed as the pinnacle of High School has reached it acme. Graduation day had finally arrived. All my friends and family were elated with excitement knowing that our accomplishments were about to take a hold on us and thrust us into a future of promise. Yes, uncertainties were on the fore front of everyone’s minds, but it all seemed so insignificant as it was a time for celebrations and reflections. Everything was going as planned like clockwork. The Parties, Classmates speaking about what the future holds for each and everyone, the air was full of positive energy with no sign of slowing down. It was a great time. As we know there are no guarantees in life. To understand the significant values at young ages can be downright stressful. Inside thoughts occur within. What do I want to become' What are my steps to accomplish these goals in life' Where will this lead me' Everything is moving too quickly and I feel that at some basic level I am lacking something. It is like some pre-knowledge that I know has just eluded me. I began to ponder my future. Reflecting back; this is when I decided to make some concrete choices in life and plunge forward into the unknown. I always had a desire to travel and get away. It wasn’t long until those desires had become a reality. A solid idea came to mind for me, join the Armed Forces. Narrowing it down between the four main branches, I chose to give the United States Navy a shot. What more could I ask for. This was an opportunity to be able to hone my desires of my independent values, determination, and self confidence all wrapped up into one bundle. Unfortunately what arose from my decision to enlist were my parent’s uncertainty and the risks that were involved with this decision of mine. Together we spoke long and hard in the conversations that followed, and in the end my mother did accept my decision to follow this path but with apprehension. My father on the other hand had a better understanding in what I was pursuing and what I was searching for in life. I guess my mother could not quite let go of the fact that her son was evolving into a young man. Your family will truly be there for you no matter what the circumstances. It is the most important gift of life. Tell them you love them every chance you can. This episode (chapter) in my life did come with some sacrifice. I was leaving my home town, my family, my lifelong friends, and yes my high school sweetheart. This was especially difficult for me because deep down inside my conscious was telling me to go be something/somebody. This was a very emotional experience for the both of us. It was time to separate from one another and follow our dreams and desires in life. Pursuant to my enlistment in the service, I was gaining some momentum. My ten weeks in boot camp resulted in a very accomplished award of Honor Man. Basically, I was chosen amongst my peers as most accomplished, most trusted and most liked person in my company. This was the perfect medicine I was searching for as it absolutely charged my confidence level to new heights. There was no turning back. My success as an individual has spawned and I was bound and determined to explore all the opportunities that lie ahead for me. In the weeks and months of my active enlistment, I discovered that what had happened back in boot camp seemed just for me. It was a role model setting. All through my “C” schooling it seemed as if I could do no wrong. Once again, my peers would ask from me, advice, they would seek encouragement and I always helped to no avail. They wanted my company. What a magical feeling. I took the reins of leadership proudly and was fully accepting what life itself was offering to me. I graduated in the top two percent of my class. The door of independence has opened and it wasn’t going to close. The remaining years of enlistment was genuine in the fact that all my training and learning has set me up for my future. An example of this is after being honorably discharged from the service I immediately set out to further my education. While in the midst of this process, along came a spider in the form of a woman. This was not a bad thing, but it did test my determination in the fact that there were a lot of new variables being put into my future plans. The relationship evolved and marriage was in the not so distant future. I was twenty five at the time. It wasn’t long after that our first child was born and that really began to accelerate life. Working full time, going to school and beginning to raise a family. If it wasn’t for my determination and confidence levels at this juncture in life, this could have been a very difficult mountain to climb. This did take some time to adjust to but I knew what my responsibilities were as a husband and a father and I was not about to disappoint anyone. I knew right away that it was not just about what my needs were in life, but what the needs of my family were; especially my new son and I had to be certain that these needs were a priority. However I did not do this alone. My first wife at the time was about as supportive as anyone could be and together we got through a very trying time in our lives. I finished my schooling with flying colors and obtained an Associate’s Degree in applied Science, again due to the discipline that was etched within and continued to roll into the next chapter in life. The thirty something’s, goals to accomplish, career paths to follow, and parenting skills to evolve. These were the things that really mattered in life to keep the momentum rolling, but as we all know or not roads of a different nature can surface and turn you on a different path entirely. What is expected to happen sometimes doesn’t. My experience at this time in my life did turn on an unexpected road and changed my life significantly. It was like being stabbed in the back without warning. One day everything is fine and the next day is like total disaster. The inevitable was occurring; my first marriage was coming to an abrupt end and it seemed that I could do nothing about it. Life experiences like this set a person back so far sometimes that it can seem like an eternity just digging your way back to the top. Everything that is accomplished between two people in the time that they are together is lost. It re-evaluates your thought process in life and places major obstacles in the way of life development itself. My experience of this is harsh in its own manner and people’s lives do change for better or worse. My track was for the better. The way that this incident occurred still has me reeling in thought today. I am not sure what the cause and effect are that initiates a spouse to radically change thought in the middle of a perfectly good life, but there it is. Our divorce was not a pretty one by any means and it seemed that no resolve on anything could come to terms. This was especially frustrating because of the fact that there was a young child involved in the overall process of dissolution. To just cede this was not an option. My struggles with this ran very deep within me. This was my son, my creation in life, he was a blessing to me and I was not going to just relinquish custody. Everything in life to this point has taught me to be diligent and not to give up on anything in life and this was especially true in this matter. Fine lines are drawn, legal issues are set, tons of money spent on fees, material possessions argued over, and even the most insignificant things are argued. Who gets the dishware, who gets appliances, etc…' Where is the sanity in all of it' Some dissolution is of simplicity and has no great relevance to parties affected. This was certainly not the case for me. I fought to the very tooth and nail of the matter to be able to be with my son and that was exactly what was rendered in the final results of dissolution. I had gained full custody of my son and was on the road to being a single father. This experience did not stop here though. I had to realign myself and life to adjust to this singularity in life without a spouse. This was not an easy task either. The responsibilities were surprising and a bit overwhelming, but nothing that could not be accomplished. The realignments in question were of my son’s development not really mine at the time. I needed to rethink the whole parenting process. With the support of my parents these daily tasks took on a whole new meaning. My father encouraged me that what happened was not the end of the world, and this happens to a lot of people in the world and you’re not alone. This settled me down considerably and set my confidence level back to a norm that would get me back on a stable track in life. Although as inspiring as those words were there was still a considerable amount work to be done. My sons beginning years of his education was at the door steps and it was my sole responsibility to see fit that he began his education in a positive note and give him all the encouragement in his young years to be able to attain a successful education for later in life. In addition to this there were other areas of concern that took hold of me also. The everyday care of my son while I was at working full time, re-establishing a residence for my son and I, the monthly bills, the list goes on. While my parents were in the picture for unlimited support they were not in the same state and could only give encouragement via phone conversations. My son, five at the time didn’t fully understand what had happened, but did understand that he was still loved and that dad would be there for him no matter what. Some adjustments came to me in life in the bodies of self-employment. I was currently working fulltime/temporary at an engineering firm for a few years and began talking to my supervisors about the possibilities of getting hired on full time as I was in need of health insurance and other concessions that a full time position would offer. The full time position did not evolve, but an outside contract position surfaced in the midst of conversation with my managers. This was a good opportunity to expand my independent values in life and also gave me the opportunity to be with my son on a full time basis. I was able to work at home with very flexible hours and complete the required tasks that were assigned to me on a weekly basis with the existing firm. This went on for some time and established the grounds I was searching for to continue on with my life as a single parent. Our bond together was ever growing and gaining strength. As all good things must come to an end though and I was in need of a full time position to be able to care for my son. This came at just the right time as the need for my contract work was coming to a close. This was fine because our stability had smoothed out and there was some time to make some much needed adjustments in life. I did find full time work and that eased a lot of stress in my life. My opportunities were broadening and enabling us to finally move on in our lives. In the years that followed as my son was maturing he began to gain a better sense of realism and why things happened the way they did. I would speak to him of this from time to time and help him try to understand about the uncertainties and unforeseen actions that can take place in a person’s life and why it is important to stay the course no matter what life’s journey offers. He doesn’t see or speak to his mother too often, nor do I, but I know that he still loves his mother and no one can take that away. It is about the situation that was created and what is perceived through one’s eyes that creates inspiration and motivation to carry through in one’s life. I feel that I have done a superior job with both my life in being able to adjust to extraordinary circumstances and my son’s life by showing him how to be a positive influence in life through determination, independence, and selfconfidence in one’s self. To be able to find that higher purpose that puts life and everything that goes with it into a finer perspective is an accomplishment in itself. Above all, try to listen to your inner voice. Forget everything I have written here if it doesn’t speak to you. These are some of my life experiences and I am still learning and unlearning every day in all phases of my life. My hopes are that I will continue to forge forward in my life with optimism and be a positive role model to all I encounter in life. References Life Launch (pg. 17-24) “Managing Uncertainty” Hudson, M. Fredrick & Mclean, D. Pamela (2011). A Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life