学术论文要如何写-系列一

本文将节录不同学术议题的内容，分析常见的写作错误，并分享润色修改与写作的技巧，希望可以帮到大家。这篇为科学实地考察的介绍文，目的在于向读者介绍自然灾害研究。不过，作者使用的文字和语气有所抵触。

Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被认可的文章

“Researchers found the stillness of the forest disconcerting. Typically buzzing with sounds, the vast forest seemed deathly silent. Nothing tweeted or even hooted. Nothing rustled anywhere or creaked. Where scampering squirrels once chatted, leafless tree branches now poked out at all angles into the April air like skeletal skyscrapers. The research team set up its equipment in an area without trees. Teams of bird and insect specialists surveyed the property and began to methodically investigate the natural disaster. They worked with the silent dedication of true scientists determined to show the world how the enormous power of nature can destroy.”

This introductory paragraph about a scientific field trip tries to establish a setting in introducing readers to the examination of a natural disaster. Unfortunately, it does so in language that interferes with the mood setting. The first sentence is too passive. The second sentence talks about the absence of “buzzing” forest sounds, then goes on to enumerate sounds that don't buzz at all. Imagined squirrels “chat” instead of chatter. Wordiness permeates the paragraph, with leafless branches unnecessarily identified as “tree” branches, for example . Scientific specialties are not properly identified. And what is a “true” scientist? The writing is weakened by such sloppiness.

此篇为科学实地考察的介绍文，目的在于向读者介绍自然灾害研究。不过，作者使用的文字和语气有所抵触。文章的首句语气过于被动。第二句则提到森林里的「buzzing」（嘈杂声）消失，接着竟然描写根本就不算嘈杂的声音。作者想像松鼠「chat」（谈天）而非「chattered」（吱吱叫）。过度雕琢的用字也贯穿全文，譬如用无叶的枝条描写「树枝」。至于科学专业部分也未明确写出。还有何谓「true」（真正的）科学家呢？这样草率的写作自然减弱了文章的张力。

Acceptable 认可的文章

“Researchers were disconcerted by the stillness of the forest. Normally resplendent with sound, the vast acreage of trees seemed a cocoon of quietness. Nothing buzzed or twirped or hooted. Nothing rustled or creaked. Where red squirrels once chattered, leafless branches now poked disconsolately into the April air like unfinished skyscrapers. The research team set up its equipment in a clearing. Teams of ornithologists and entomologists platted the property and began to methodically chronicle the depth of the natural disaster. They worked with the hushed resolve of scientists determined to bear witness to the destructive power of nature.”