留学生作业代写：Arranged marriage

本文是一篇优秀的essay代写范文- Arranged marriage，供大家赏析学习，这篇论文讨论了包办婚姻。婚姻是人们日常生活中的重要组成部分。在以前，年轻人认为自由婚姻是禁忌，包办婚姻是尊重父母的一种方式，是孝顺的行为。但如今传统的包办婚姻已经逐渐演变成基于爱情的自由婚姻，人们对婚姻的观念和态度也发生了很大的变化。相比于包办婚姻，自由婚姻可以在恋爱的过程中了解对方，婚后的生活也没有那么多矛盾。

Marriage is a crucial part of people’s everyday life. It further affects all aspects of social development around the world. When traditional arranged marriage has evolved into free marriage based on love, people’s notions and attitudes towards marriage have been greatly changed. In Mao’s china, young people regard free marriage as taboo. Having arranged marriage was a way of showing respect to their parents, and is a behavior of filial piety (Xiao, 2006). Nowadays, people start to seek romantic love and marriage. A majority of existing researches show that people tends to be unhappy as a result of arranged marriage, which is against the progress and development of society. Similarly, young people pursue freedom, and they prefer to find their true love by themselves. When their parents intend to arrange their marriage, they will definitely feel restrained. Therefore, we discuss the following questions, and attempt to prove that arranged marriages have negative influences.

What are the differences between arranged marriage and free marriage?

Why do people have arranged marriage?

Why do people disagree with arranged marriage?

Is there a way to improve arranged/free marriage?

What are the differences between arranged marriage and free marriage?

Arranged marriage refers to that a person is arranged to marry his/her spouse by family or authorities. Even if most young people do not accept arranged marriage, it still exists in many countries. For example, a girl who comes from a poor family in India is supposed to have an arranged marriage that seems good for her. In one of the examples, when the girl turned nineteen, she got married to an Englishman, and they never saw each other before the wedding day (Shackle, 2013). The arrangement marriage is usually a good match in terms of social economic backgrounds of the young couple’s family by conventional standards. People from arranged marriage tends to have less cultural conflicts, as it is very likely that the two families share the same cultural background such as religious beliefs, parenting ideas and love concept. In an arrangement marriage, the female spouse is likely to play an obedient role in the newly formed household. The lower bargaining power of wives in arranged marriage may cause severe family conflicts in the future. On the other hand, in free marriage, two young persons get to know each other step by step, and gain gradual understanding of their future together. Both male and female spouses are likely to be posited at the same level. Thus, less fierce conflicts can be seen in a free marriage (Shackle, 2013).

Why do people have arranged marriage?

Some people may argue that young people, as they have no experience in marriage life and thus have no idea how to choose their spouse, tend to marry to another person out of impulse, and then find out later that their “idealized” spouse may not be what they really need. Sometimes, young people cannot discern the disguise their dates are wearing. They may find the person they actually married is not the person they thought they married to. Or, the young couple may try to hide their shortcomings in times of love, and later find these shortcomings unbearable in marriage. Parents, however, have more first- and second-hand experience in marriage life. They also understand their children even better than the children themselves. Thus, it is wiser to let parents to choose for their children to whom they should be married as parents love their children wholeheartedly, and will choose for children a more suitable marriage. The parents may spend more time on finding for their children the perfect spouse even than the children themselves. They go through their social networks and get in touch with matchmakers. They have the possible candidates all checked-out. Such a process will save the children a lot of valuable time.  Sometimes, background match is also very important. It is undeniable that marriage will have significant influences on the couple’s family. It does no harm to help the family with a marriage if the children can obtain happiness in the marriage at the same time. On the other hand, if the spouses chosen by the young children cannot fit into the family environments, further conflicts will emerge later in their marriage, and may finally lead to divorce.

Why do people disagree with arranged marriage?

As we have discussed above, arranged couples has no foot in understanding before marriage, therefore, they are more likely to have conflicts later in their married life. Arranged marriage is normal custom for old generation, but it is an unusual phenomenon for young people because young people prefer freedom, and they want to find their true love by themselves; also, they prefer to choose their partner in marriage because of love. In china, a lot of parents want to help their children to find a partner because they think the partner chosen by them is more reliable; hence, China has carried out a lot of activities of match-making which can help parents or young people to find spouse (Xiao, 2006). In fact, most young people do not like matchmaking because they think that it will restrict their thinking and freedom to choose. Arranged marriage can have negative influences on people’s life, as it is associated with higher divorce rate (Xiao, 2006). Some parents arrange their children to be married to people who come from another country because they want their children get a better life. Unfortunately, if a woman gets married with a person who comes from another country, she will need to immigrate. She is then facing the difficulty of accepting new environments as she needs to make new friends, and fits into the new culture (Yeoh, et al., 2013).Young people, in order to keep their independent personality, tend to refuse arranged marriage. They will not regret for choosing a spouse by himself or herself even if it leads to a failed marriage, but they will regret if they did not get the chance to try.

Is there a way to improve arranged marriage?

As we have discussed in the previous sessions, both arranged and free marriage have their advantages and disadvantages respectively. The disadvantages of both types of marriage will be devastating to a family. It causes me to wonder if there is a way to improve these two types of marriage? My suggested solution would be to take some of the key elements of both types of marriage and produce an improved form of marriage.  It is better to start out with a carefully selected candidate pool by the parents. The young person will discuss with their parents their ideal type of spouse first. Then based on the conditions provided by the children, parents can spend plenty of time searching for suitable candidates and come up with a list of potential spouse for their children instead of only one. The young children then start to have dates with persons on that list, getting to know them one by one. The parents may continue to enlarge the candidate pool until they find one person that is both right for the family and the children (Hart, K. 2007).

In conclusion, arranged marriage have negative effects on people’s life and society as more and more conflicts emerge after marriage due to lack of understanding. It is better to improve the current situation of arranged marriage by allowing young people to decide independently.

References

Yeoh, B.S, Leng, C. H., & Dung, V. K. (2013). Commercially arranged marriage and the negotiation of citizenship rights among Vietnamese marriage migrants in multiracial Singapore. Asian Ethnicity, 14(2), 139-156. doi: 10.1080/14631369.2012.75974. Retrieved from: http://web.b.ebscohost.com

SHACKLE, S. (2013). A prisoner in the house.New internationalist, (467), 30. Retrieved from: http://web.b.ebscohost.com

Xiao Jia, G. (2006).China’s love market. Ne statesman, 135(4796), 36.  Retrieved from: http://web.b.ebscohost.com

Hart, K. (2007). Love by arrangement: the ambiguity of ‘spousal choice’ in a Turkish

village. Journal Of The Royal Anthropological Institute, 13(2), 345-362.doi:111/j.1467-9655.2007.00438.x.  Retrieved from: http://web.b.ebscohost.com

Myers, J. B., madathil, J., & Tingle, L. R. (2015). Marriage Satisfaction and Wellness in India and the United States: A Preliminary Comparison of Arranged Marriages and Marriages of Choice.Journal Of Counseling& Development, 83(2), 183-190.

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