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建立人际资源圈Exploring The Marriage Market---Essay论文范文
2016-07-21 来源: 51Due教员组 类别: Essay范文
51Due论文代写平台essay代写范文：Exploring The Marriage Market这篇Essay范文婚姻伴侣伴侣上的问题，婚姻模型由三个基本部分组成，供应，偏好和资源。要找到一位合适的伙伴，需要很长时间去了解，不要轻易草率。在开始一段感情时，要清楚知道自己适不适合，自己要努力去改变，你不能让别人爱你，或让别人留下。
I once read a story about someone who visited the government matchmaker for marriage, and requested, 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The matchmaker said, 'Your requirements, please.' Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, and good in singing and dancing. My spouse must be willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out; telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The matchmaker listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need a television.'
When it comes to the issues of choosing a marriage partner, there are so many questions that need to be answered such as knowing the right time to start searching for a partner, identifying the right partner, making right decisions at the right time, and many more. Many times, people just go after what they want their ideal partner to be. And they neglect other qualities the person has. Chasing after what you want is never ending and may not come to a good end.
Selection of a life-long partner is one of the hardest and most important decision a person will ever make in his/her lifetime, and more especially for Christians because divorce is never a choice. As we grow up, we all dream of that magical day it will happen: we'll 'meet and instantly recognize the right person' and 'live happily ever after' until 'death do us part!' we sometimes wonder how these notions from movies and novels fit with reality. It takes weeks or months, maybe years, to get to know another person and to find out how the two of you will get along. We can hardly be 'madly' in love and also objectively assess our future with the partner at the same time. So, this is another paradox. Is there a solution?
When sociologists and economists study the concept of choosing a marriage partner, thus, who marries whom, they often make an analogy with the labour market, in which people seeking employment look for employers who will hire them at an acceptable salary. Likewise, in the marriage market, unmarried individuals or singles search for others who will marry them. However, instead of acceptable salary, the searchers require that their prospective partners possess an acceptable set of desired characteristics.
This market model of marriage consists of three basic components. These are supply, preferences, and resources. The supply of men and women in the marriage market constitute people who are actively looking for spouses in the same place at the same time. Each person in the marriage market has an idea of his or her own preferred characteristics in a prospective spouse. Some people may be more interested in good looks; others may care more about personality, earning potential, educational background, religious background, a good disposition, and so forth. Resources are the characteristics a person possesses that may be attractive to the other partner in the marriage market. In a sense resources are what the searcher has that the other partner may be looking for, and preferences are what the searcher is looking for in a partner. So a marriage market is created by people looking for a spouse in a particular geographical area, who have a set of preferences concerning the type of person they wish to find, and a set of recourses to offer in return.
男人和女人在婚姻市场上的供应——The Supply of Men and Women in the Marriage Market
In real life, we don't take a check list of preferences and resources in hand as we systematically search the world for our ideal mate. Perhaps we should do this, but we don't. Most people do not consciously plan when seeking for a mate; they are driven by their feelings. In other words, their radar is scanning for specific characteristics, but they are not likely to be aware of everything their emotions and instincts are looking for. Mostly, once they are attracted to another person they just 'let themselves go' and enjoy the fantastic thrill of 'falling in love.'
To fall in love you have to see or meet someone attractive to you. Someone has to be 'available.' And you must also make yourself available. However, as a Christian, you should bear in mind that if you want to attract a godly person you need to be godly yourself, because no one who is godly is going to marry a person they consider is ungodly. You may live an isolated lifestyle that may not allow you to meet many potential partners. In that case, you may have to change your social habits, e.g. go to church, classes, social clubs, political or volunteer activities, etc in order to meet more or different people. Friends and family could also offer introductions if asked. 'Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.' Barnett Brickner Rabbi.
There is no appropri?-ate age indicated anywhere for one to marry. Just as everyone matures at a different rate, determining the best time for marriage will vary according to each individual. Some important things to consider before marriage include whether one's education is complete (preferably after tertiary level), and whether one has job skills or a career to support a family, and whether one is sufficiently mature physically and emotionally to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Factors including one's overall maturity, cul?-ture, education and employment must all be considered. Young people today are generally in their early or mid-20s before they are ready for marriage.
Mate selection is a difficult task for many reasons: each person may pretend to be something he/she isn't, each may honestly describe him/herself but change later on, each may change his/her mind about what he/she wants and on and on. There is a need for people who are searching for a life partner to be cautious, rational, and must be able to avoid getting prematurely infatuated. You do not have to be 'head-over-heals' before you know much about the person; your heart should not overwhelm your brain. Always remember that you have no guarantees; you risk hurting or at least wasting your time. This is the basis for the often repeated advice to lovers: 'date for a while, get to know each other better, at least for 6 months, and don't jump into anything unadvisedly, pray and seek direction from God.'
Considering the selection process, it might seem that being friends long before becoming a romantic lovers would be an advantage because as friends, you could objectively get to know each other. Many people overlook or discount the possibilities of starting a romantic relationship with good friends. In most good marriages, the spouse is the best friend. But it is also possible that a friend may be a bad choice, so, you do not try to convert a friend into a lover without praying and considering carefully if it is the Lord's will and both of you are interested. Sometimes, there may be good, continuing reasons for remaining just good friends. Both of you must not act rashly if you decide to become more romantic, you need to go slow to protect the friendship. With a close friend, you would have common interests and similar views, you trust and understand each other, and you care about and like each other. These are good characteristics for a lover too. It has been said many times that marriages based on romantic 'love at first sight' don't last, but there is no clear data for or against this dire prediction. There are many couples who fell in love instantly and it lasted forever. On the other hand, there are also some immature people who impulsively become infatuated, and got themselves into trouble repeatedly.
Regardless of whether you start a relationship quickly or slowly, you must commit your decisions into God's hands. Let God know you are looking, and seek His guidance in finding a spouse. Believe it or not, our first inclinations about what we think we need in a mate are generally not what is best for us. As mortal beings, ignorant of the future and blind to the hearts of men, we are not qualified to select a spouse ourselves. On the other hand, our Creator, Saviour, and Loving Father know exactly what we need. God is a perfect matchmaker who never makes mistakes with His choices. As marriage counsellors, it sometimes amazes Belinda and I how God links certain people together. Sometime when couple come to us for the first time, we could see how incompatible they are and we may be tempted to separate them if we should have our own way. Most often than not we have been proven wrong by the time they complete the counselling program. Most of these 'incompatible' couples have had better marriages than we expected when we first met them. They are successful because they decided to partner with Christ throughout the relationship.
Tragically, most people in romantic relationships often lack the will or self-confidence to withdraw from the relationship if problems appear. Many people may choose the opposite, thus, feeling love and denying potential problem. Many people will often stay even though they are unhappy because they have limited experience with other partners and, thus, cannot be assured of a better option. Their usual slogan is 'The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know' An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, do not let lust, desperation, immaturity, and ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and do not fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults is not important. Remember that you cannot take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You cannot make someone love you or make someone stay.
In the next edition, we will be looking at appropriate preferences and resources required for the marriage market.
51Due原创版权郑重声明：原创范文源自编辑创作，未经官方许可，网站谢绝转载。对于侵权行为，未经同意的情况下，51Due有权追究法律责任。
51due为留学生提供最好的作业代写服务，想获取更多Essay代写范文，亲们可以进入主页 www.51due.com 为留学生提供essay代写服务，了解详情可以咨询我们的客服QQ:800020041哟。-lc
I once read a story about someone who visited the government matchmaker for marriage, and requested, 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The matchmaker said, 'Your requirements, please.' Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, and good in singing and dancing. My spouse must be willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out; telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The matchmaker listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need a television.'
When it comes to the issues of choosing a marriage partner, there are so many questions that need to be answered such as knowing the right time to start searching for a partner, identifying the right partner, making right decisions at the right time, and many more. Many times, people just go after what they want their ideal partner to be. And they neglect other qualities the person has. Chasing after what you want is never ending and may not come to a good end.
Selection of a life-long partner is one of the hardest and most important decision a person will ever make in his/her lifetime, and more especially for Christians because divorce is never a choice. As we grow up, we all dream of that magical day it will happen: we'll 'meet and instantly recognize the right person' and 'live happily ever after' until 'death do us part!' we sometimes wonder how these notions from movies and novels fit with reality. It takes weeks or months, maybe years, to get to know another person and to find out how the two of you will get along. We can hardly be 'madly' in love and also objectively assess our future with the partner at the same time. So, this is another paradox. Is there a solution?
When sociologists and economists study the concept of choosing a marriage partner, thus, who marries whom, they often make an analogy with the labour market, in which people seeking employment look for employers who will hire them at an acceptable salary. Likewise, in the marriage market, unmarried individuals or singles search for others who will marry them. However, instead of acceptable salary, the searchers require that their prospective partners possess an acceptable set of desired characteristics.
This market model of marriage consists of three basic components. These are supply, preferences, and resources. The supply of men and women in the marriage market constitute people who are actively looking for spouses in the same place at the same time. Each person in the marriage market has an idea of his or her own preferred characteristics in a prospective spouse. Some people may be more interested in good looks; others may care more about personality, earning potential, educational background, religious background, a good disposition, and so forth. Resources are the characteristics a person possesses that may be attractive to the other partner in the marriage market. In a sense resources are what the searcher has that the other partner may be looking for, and preferences are what the searcher is looking for in a partner. So a marriage market is created by people looking for a spouse in a particular geographical area, who have a set of preferences concerning the type of person they wish to find, and a set of recourses to offer in return.
男人和女人在婚姻市场上的供应——The Supply of Men and Women in the Marriage Market
In real life, we don't take a check list of preferences and resources in hand as we systematically search the world for our ideal mate. Perhaps we should do this, but we don't. Most people do not consciously plan when seeking for a mate; they are driven by their feelings. In other words, their radar is scanning for specific characteristics, but they are not likely to be aware of everything their emotions and instincts are looking for. Mostly, once they are attracted to another person they just 'let themselves go' and enjoy the fantastic thrill of 'falling in love.'
To fall in love you have to see or meet someone attractive to you. Someone has to be 'available.' And you must also make yourself available. However, as a Christian, you should bear in mind that if you want to attract a godly person you need to be godly yourself, because no one who is godly is going to marry a person they consider is ungodly. You may live an isolated lifestyle that may not allow you to meet many potential partners. In that case, you may have to change your social habits, e.g. go to church, classes, social clubs, political or volunteer activities, etc in order to meet more or different people. Friends and family could also offer introductions if asked. 'Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.' Barnett Brickner Rabbi.
There is no appropri?-ate age indicated anywhere for one to marry. Just as everyone matures at a different rate, determining the best time for marriage will vary according to each individual. Some important things to consider before marriage include whether one's education is complete (preferably after tertiary level), and whether one has job skills or a career to support a family, and whether one is sufficiently mature physically and emotionally to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Factors including one's overall maturity, cul?-ture, education and employment must all be considered. Young people today are generally in their early or mid-20s before they are ready for marriage.
Mate selection is a difficult task for many reasons: each person may pretend to be something he/she isn't, each may honestly describe him/herself but change later on, each may change his/her mind about what he/she wants and on and on. There is a need for people who are searching for a life partner to be cautious, rational, and must be able to avoid getting prematurely infatuated. You do not have to be 'head-over-heals' before you know much about the person; your heart should not overwhelm your brain. Always remember that you have no guarantees; you risk hurting or at least wasting your time. This is the basis for the often repeated advice to lovers: 'date for a while, get to know each other better, at least for 6 months, and don't jump into anything unadvisedly, pray and seek direction from God.'
Considering the selection process, it might seem that being friends long before becoming a romantic lovers would be an advantage because as friends, you could objectively get to know each other. Many people overlook or discount the possibilities of starting a romantic relationship with good friends. In most good marriages, the spouse is the best friend. But it is also possible that a friend may be a bad choice, so, you do not try to convert a friend into a lover without praying and considering carefully if it is the Lord's will and both of you are interested. Sometimes, there may be good, continuing reasons for remaining just good friends. Both of you must not act rashly if you decide to become more romantic, you need to go slow to protect the friendship. With a close friend, you would have common interests and similar views, you trust and understand each other, and you care about and like each other. These are good characteristics for a lover too. It has been said many times that marriages based on romantic 'love at first sight' don't last, but there is no clear data for or against this dire prediction. There are many couples who fell in love instantly and it lasted forever. On the other hand, there are also some immature people who impulsively become infatuated, and got themselves into trouble repeatedly.
Regardless of whether you start a relationship quickly or slowly, you must commit your decisions into God's hands. Let God know you are looking, and seek His guidance in finding a spouse. Believe it or not, our first inclinations about what we think we need in a mate are generally not what is best for us. As mortal beings, ignorant of the future and blind to the hearts of men, we are not qualified to select a spouse ourselves. On the other hand, our Creator, Saviour, and Loving Father know exactly what we need. God is a perfect matchmaker who never makes mistakes with His choices. As marriage counsellors, it sometimes amazes Belinda and I how God links certain people together. Sometime when couple come to us for the first time, we could see how incompatible they are and we may be tempted to separate them if we should have our own way. Most often than not we have been proven wrong by the time they complete the counselling program. Most of these 'incompatible' couples have had better marriages than we expected when we first met them. They are successful because they decided to partner with Christ throughout the relationship.
Tragically, most people in romantic relationships often lack the will or self-confidence to withdraw from the relationship if problems appear. Many people may choose the opposite, thus, feeling love and denying potential problem. Many people will often stay even though they are unhappy because they have limited experience with other partners and, thus, cannot be assured of a better option. Their usual slogan is 'The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know' An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, do not let lust, desperation, immaturity, and ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and do not fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults is not important. Remember that you cannot take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You cannot make someone love you or make someone stay.
In the next edition, we will be looking at appropriate preferences and resources required for the marriage market.
51Due原创版权郑重声明：原创范文源自编辑创作，未经官方许可，网站谢绝转载。对于侵权行为，未经同意的情况下，51Due有权追究法律责任。
51due为留学生提供最好的作业代写服务，想获取更多Essay代写范文，亲们可以进入主页 www.51due.com 为留学生提供essay代写服务，了解详情可以咨询我们的客服QQ:800020041哟。-lc
